My understanding for why is Ericksonian language is required with women

This is going to be an advanced post on an extremely advanced topic and understanding, so I apologize in advance if anyone reading this won't understand it.   I have decided to write this for myself in order to grasp on the idea and concept and to internalize it, as I am still trying to fully understand this myself because it is that important and outside the scope of everything we "know".


The "Autopilot"

We men want women.  obvious fact.  Women also want men.  So basically we "want" each other.
So why can't we all just "act" on our natural desires?  A man sees a woman.. he wants her.. he'll go talk to her.. she see's the guy.. she wants him.. why can't people just naturally hook up with ease and without difficulty?

That is because there's a big mechanism that is built inside all of us that is basically what controls us on a daily basis, and is called "The autopilot".   The autopilot is simply our habitualized ways of doing things and thinking thoughts. You can call it "the comfort zone".  You can call it our "habitual thoughts".   You can call it "our beliefs".   You can call it whatever you want and it will all be correct.

In my understanding, a successful "hook up" between a man and a woman happends usually as a result of multiple conditions that take place simultaneously, where the most obvious of those were two people who succeeded in getting over their "habits" of self-sabotaging, in order to create an opportunity for both of them.   Try to think about this for a moment.   In today's society, both men and women have alot of ordinary daily stuff they have to deal with.   It starts from getting up in the morning, to catching the bus.. while during this time thinking about that homework from the university.. or about the task that awaits in the office.. or the interview with the big boss.. or what mother asked us to do.. and traffic jams.. while at the same time they barely even woke up properly and are still tired.. only at around 11am or 12pm they start to wake up... but they are already in the "daily routine".. they are used to work.. take maybe a coffee break.. then go with all the colleagues to the lunch break...

Now.. what happends if an opportunity suddenly presents itself infront of them?   What happends if that is a woman and she now happends to "run into" a realy cute guy in the lunch break?   or the bus?   What usually happends in these situations is that a phone number is being exchanged at BEST.. but more than often just a casual chit-chat is going because both the guy and the women are so NOT USED to operate in a situation like this.. that they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing.  And when people are not used to be doing something.. that is considered "outside" their comfort zone.. and in such situations.. the "autopilot" takes over because it is simply the easiest solution for the brain for such situations.. then they will later go back to their homes.. thinking about what just happend.. and will try to figure out what they had to do different in order to change this...

When people say, as a way to rationalize a woman that is not answering their phone calls or text messages "she probably just don't want you enough" .. or "if you realy want her, you need to keep on trying" .. both of these explanations are 2 sides of the same coin - its not true to say that "she doesn't want it enough", because she DID give you her phone number.. but she probably can't get herself to make the move and arrange a meeting.. and it could very well be not because "she doesnt want it enough".. but simply because she is not used to be doing it.  its not comfortable for her.    on the other hand.. why do they tell you to "keep trying"?   Because this way, you will attempt in "pushing" her out of her comfort zone in order to meet with you.    But then.. even once she meets you.. she won't feel "comfrotable" doing stuff yet.. and as funny as it may seem.. even for you, as a guy.. "keep trying" to set her up for meeting may be outside of your own comfort zone.. because you as a guy are used to people who respond to you quickly.. and the fact that she doesn't answer your calls or messages may get you to conclude almost automatically that she may not be interested in you.. where in fact she MIGHT.

So these are all different sides of the same issue - the "Autopilot".    So we know that it exists.. how can we work our way around it?   Let's examine a few cases..


Example #1: How the "autopilot" affects guys

Let's look at a well known example of how the "autopilot" affect guys when it comes to women.  A guy who has to "get over" his own "autopilot" in order to even start a conversation with a woman.   For some guys (including myself) this can realy be a realy simple task as simple as just going outside the door.. but for many guys this is not as easy at it seems!

I knew this one guy once, he wanted me to help him get approaching women, so we went to a mall.  There was this georgous sales lady there, he wanted to talk to her.  But he couldn't.  He couldn't get himself to go and talk to her.  Think about this for a second.  This is another example of an "autopilot" in use.  How did I get him to eventually go and talk to her?   Well, I had to throw all sorts of idea to his mind.  Ideas that would not normally come from within him at this stage.   Think about that.  That's exactly the point of the "autopilot", or otherwise known as an "altered state of consciousness" - when such a scenario occurs, you just respond automatically.  without much thought around it.  without even the ability to be able to think on spot.  without pretty much any sort of real awareness even available to you at the time when it "catches" you.   Now, when there's some guy like me near you, he can try to "talk some sense" into you.. or maybe show you a couple of ways to replace a bad feeling with a good one.. and maybe give you some "mindsets" that will help you do the move.

In this guy's case, I had to eventually tell him "Look, if you won't approach her, you will be sorry for it later when you get home.   Do it now so you won't feel sorry later", and that convinced him to do it.   Had the thought came from within him?   He would probably be able to do it on his own.   But the thought didn't come, I had to direct him and give him this "suggestion" that made most of the difference and made him go and talk to her (I also did some exercises with him to release the emotional tensing around the idea of going to talk to her, but he still needed that suggestion and thought in his mind to be able to go and do it).



Example #2: How the "autopilot" affects women

Let's look at another example.   A good friend of mine knows this girl that tells him about her life in "the big city" and all the guys she meets there, what happends with them, etc.   One time she told him how she was on the beach getting a tan, where all of a sudden some cute guy came to talk to her, and she just instinctively responded to him with "I have a BF" (which was not true, of course) as an automatic reaction.   She later told him that she have no idea why she said that (implying it happend outside of her conscious awareness or even conscious choice..) because in retrospect she thought that the guy was actually very cute and she felt sorry for replying like that.   That's the first example.

The next example was some guy that she was supposed to meet late at night at 11pm in a place that is very close to where she lives.   She was already about to cancel this meeting because she thought it was "too late to meet".. so she spoke with my friend and my friend gave her the suggestion that it is only a drink that they meet, and that she meets with her friends at that time anyway, and that she should be spontaneous and just go for it.  This is another example of a place where this thought, this idea, this suggestion was outside of her conscious awareness or choice and she had to listen to someone else (my friend, in this case) who was directing her and giving her suggestions that she couldn't thought of herself.   A suggestion that eventually was exactly what she needed to meet this guy, and later to even go with him to a weekend and successfully hook up with him because he turned out to be a great guy in the end.

Can you see the similarities between all these cases, and notice the pattern already?



What happends when people run on "autopilot" or an "altered state of consciousness"?

As you can see, the pattern that returns in all the 3 examples I just showed you is what happends when people get into an "altered state of consciousness" or also known as an "autopilot" mode.   Their awareness diminishes, their ability to think diminishes, and basically they become zombies that just operate without much thought.   As you can see in all 3 cases, we are talking about opportunities that present themselves to people on a daily basis and they simply won't act on them because they have no idea how to get themselves to move in that direction.   they need a guidance, they need directions, they need suggestions, and they need commands, because they can't and usually don't come up with such on their own.

Now, the thing that is similar in all 3 cases is that both myself and my friend are good friends with the people we were trying to "help" to.   When you are a good friend with someone, you can just give them direct suggestions and even commands.   Like I did with my friend in the mall, and like my friend did with this girl and the guy at 11pm.   That's all good.

But when you are meeting a new girl, you are not yet in that position of someone who can just give her direct suggestions or even commands.   It just doesn't "feel" right.  Even if its in her own best interest, she still sees you as a stranger and she doesn't trust you enough yet in order to be able to accept your suggestions or even commands just like that.

And as I just pointed out in the last 3 examples and explanation, these suggestions and commands are neccessary.  Without them, people will just go back to "autopilot" / "zombie land" and be gone from each other and return back home by themselves and feel sorry for it and ask themselves what they could have done different.




How Ericksonian language patterns come into play?

Hypnotherapy is a treatment method where patients with all sorts of disorders are given "suggestions" during a treatment session.   I'm not going off-topic here, this is strongly related to our subject and you'll soon understand how.  So basically in hypnotherapy, and also in psychology, subject are being given suggestions by the tharapist.   In psychology, they use deep rapport to achieve this freedom of starting to plant suggestions in, whereas in hypnotherapy, they use deep trance in order to get the patient to a state where he is more "suggestible" and less resistant to suggestions.

Milton Erickson was a pioneer in the field of hypnotherapy.   He was very successful at treating patients with very difficult disorders that other hypnotherapists, or even psychologists, couldn't heal.

The interesting thing about Erickson, and also revolutionizing in a way, was that he didn't use the traditional "induction of trance" upon his patients like normal hypnotherapists usually do.   Instead, his approach appeared to be more like a normal meeting where they just get in a rapport and start talking, but Erickson would talk in such a way that during the course of what appears to be a normal conversation, he was embedding alot of different suggestions and even commands that eventually made a massive change in his patients.

How is this useful for us?
Well, as you can probably realize by now, people are running on autopilot.  Both men and women.  They do want to hook up but they don't know how to get themselves there.  They need directions, guidance, and suggestions.

When we start talking to a woman, everything is fine.  But then, we can't just give her the direct suggestion or command: "You should come back home with me tonight".   This will be too direct, too penetrating, and too offensive at that point.  Even if we wanted to give her the simple idea of "Start thinking sexual thoughts about me", it would be too direct as well.   Even telling her "Imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" (and btw if a girl can imagine something.. "Everything you can imagine, is real", Pablo Picasso) would be a direct suggestion that can probably cause her to raise resistance to it.   Even if she will accept it, she may think to herself "Hmm why is he saying that?", and the moment she starts to think about why you said it, it distracted her from actually following your suggestion, and gets her to the point where she may start arguing herself against it.

So we can't give direct commands and suggestions to people who are not yet good friends of us.  On the otherhand, we need to give those commands and suggestions because like we said, people need guidance.  Without the guidance, they just go back to the "autopilot" land that doesn't serve them.   So this is where embedded commands, embedded suggestions and even embedded questions come into play.

These tools are ways that we can take commands and suggestions that we want to give to some girl, and "embed" them in an indirect way, in such a way that they will be accepted by the other person.

For example: if we wanted to command her to "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us", you could embed it with a sentence like: "My friend told me that she told her friend: what would happend if you were to imagine that there's an amazing connection between us and all that's left for us to do, is just act as if its true already?" , you are basically telling her a story.   The story you are telling is about what your friend told her friend.  Your story is the "trojan horse", in a way, a vehicle you use to embed commands and suggestions that you want to direct her mind in, in an embedded way.



What do these embedded commands, suggestions, and questions achieve?

Remember what I told you in the 3 examples with my friends about the "zombie" state / "autopilot" mode where people's conscious awareness diminishes, their ability to think on their feet eliminates.. and how a "voice from the outside" could usually get them to realize things / do things / interpret things in a different way?  Well, in a sense, that's what the embedded commands, suggestions and questions are supposed to do.

They serve as a guiding tool, and in order for them to realy penetrate into the person's conscious awareness they have to be delivered in a different tone of speech so that the unconscious mind will "pick" them up.

You might even say that, in a way, whenever you are approaching a stranger and start a conversation with them, they are already in an altered state of consciousness where they are not always even ready for your initial sentence.  Their mind is already distracted and they are not even paying attention consciously to what you're saying, which means that basically it is their unconscious mind that is listening to your sentence, but anyways.. if you want the unconscious to respond you have to mark out the commands and suggestions.






Let's go back to the "image there's an amazing connection between us" example

OK, the last example that I gave was the example where I was embedding the command "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" in your conversation.  I want to start with this because this is basically a command that is more than likely to be accepted, and is also a great example to start with.

Basically, everyone have an imagination, especially women.  When you tell a person to imagine something, this is a command that is almost very unlikely to not be accepted because you're not realy telling the person to do anything, just to imagine.   But the interesting thing about the imagination, is that if a person can imagine something - its very likely that it will become real for him.

Every woman can accept the command to "imagine" as if you and her already have an amazing connection.  The imagination is actually very powerful.  It is so powerful, infact, that when a person starts to imagine something, it overrides his currenty reality so powerfully to the point where he can actually starts to believe that its infact true.   And that's the thing that normally happends with little children.  Little children do not yet have that "safe guard" mechanism that allows them to know whats real and whats not, so for a little kid - you are his best friend if he decides that.   Which probably explains why when people are kids they can make friendships more easily than when they are adults!

But anyway, back to our subject.   If you can successfully embed the command of "imagine that we are best friends already" into a woman, then she will start to not only behave, but also probably at some level believe that you 2 are best friends indeed.   This type of a suggestion, speeds up the seduction process dramatically.

You want the unconscious to get this command and act on it.  Remember, people can be hypnotized.  You may not always be able to get them into trance in order to give them these suggestions and commands, but Erickson didn't do it either, yet he found a way to plant those suggestions and commands directly to the unconscious.



How do we get "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions into our normal, day to day conversations?

We are reaching the end of this post, and before we conclude it there are 2 final questions that come to mind: the first one is the question of this topic, and the second one has to do with does it realy work?   Let's start with the first one.

I hope that I got you realizing through this post that people do have desires they wanted to fulfill but they are running on "autopilot" that usually just self sabotages them and give them realy no choice, guidance or solutions.

I also got you realizing that when people are in such a state, their ability to think deminishes to almost not exist, and they do need some kind of "external" guidance, suggestion, and interpretation.

This is the point where friends help each other, and where our "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions, which are neccessary (because we can't just walk up directly to people and give them direct commands) for us in order to guide the women that we are meeting on what to do - how to think, interpret, feel and act with us, by directing her unconscious awareness.

As you could probably see from my examples, we "embed" a command in an indirect way by using a "trojan horse", so let's discuss that for a moment.

The term "trojan horse" is basically based on the old greek mythology story about how the greeks invaded the town of Troy which its walls were unpenetrable.  Late at night the people of Troy were celebrating, and the greeks appealed to their ego because the trojans were known for their love of horses.. so they have built a giant "wooden horse" that they presented as a gift for them.  The trojans accepted the gift, and brought it into the center of their town.  Inside this horse were greek soldiers, so late at night when the trojans were celebrating and drunks, the greek soldiers got out of the horse and that was the end of the battle and the greeks took over Troy.

So, basically when it comes to women - our "trojan horse" is stories.  Or, it can also be other types of format, like a question, a joke, or a quiz.   Basically, it is our distraction tool.   Just like the old "trojan horse" was a distraction for the people of Troy.   Women are basically hard-wired to listen to and share stories.  This is how they talk between themselves.   They "share" their stories amongst each other.  So when you are sharing a story with a women, you are actually talking to her in the language she understands and is used to.

However, I won't lie to you - this does require that you start to change the way you talk.  If up until today you were used to just talk without a direction in mind, in order to be able to start to embed commands, suggestions and other stuff, you will have to start to consciously pay attention to what you're about to say and to actually start to think in terms of embedding commands, suggestions, and questions.

And the only way this can be exercised, is by visualizing yourself in all sorts of different situations, and just trying to stop and try to start thinking in terms of "what thoughts do I want her to think?  what feelings do I want her to feel?   what suggestion do I want to give her?" and then think of commands and suggestions that will do it, and then finally think of a way to embed them inside some kind of a distraction, or "trojan horse".

Let's try an example together.
Let's say we want a woman to imagine as if we are best friends already. The situation is an isle at a supermarket.  How can we do it?

Well, first we need to get some kind of an initial rapport and conversation going.  You can't just walk up to stranger and start sharing stories with him, as that will look a bit wierd and creepy, although you may be surprised to know that between women this is actually considered a normal thing.  But anyways, we do need to create what's called a "conversational framework" by slowly and gradually conditioning the person to talk to us.

When we first start talking to a woman in a supermarket, we will most likely "break the ice" with some pre-opener of sorts.  Maybe ask her if she knows about where this or that product is, and/or maybe ask her if we can reach for some shelf.  Then we may throw some situational comment or observation.. this is all designed to see how she responds (remember "screening" from previous articles?).  If she responds well, we can then move on to something that is more specific to a supermarket situation - like talking with her about how to do some dish, like Pasta or something.  this can open a conversation going.  Then, and only then you can try something like this to embed this command: "I remember watching this show on TV once, there was this big chef lady being interviewed, so the reporter told her: "What if you could imagine that we are best friends already.. and I'm coming home for dinner at your place.. how differently will it affect your dishes?"".

See how we did it?
That's an example of things that we can prepare at home, before we go out, that will contain those messages inside them.

Sometimes you can even embed a suggestion inside a question - "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?".  In this example, we embed the suggestion "there's something here" which is vague.  There's something where?  in the supermarket?  or between her and me?   See?







Final question - will this realy work?

So now we came to the end of this post, and we have one final question left to answer.. which is "will this realy work?", which i'll try to answer and explain here.

First we have to accept a fact on the unconscious mind and that is that the unconscious mind catches everything.   Even the things that you are not currently aware of.. in fact, there have been numerous studies that suggest that any activity and action that you do - are a result of unconscious processes that took place seconds if not minutes before you actually have taken the action.

So when you are saying the sentence "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?" and you emphasize the suggestion and do a slight head nod .. or even without the head nod, just mark the suggestion in a different tone than the rest of the sentence.. the conscious mind may not always catch it, but the unconscious mind will catch it most definitely.

Another thing is how the processes of Mirroring and Anchoring occur.  They occur outside of conscious awareness, and they are being caught by the unconscious mind.   When you are intuitively feeling more safe and trust towards a person, it is most of the times because that person posseses things that are similar to yourself whether in the mood, state, or body language.  The unconscious catches that all.

Same goes for anchoring.. or how a specific "feeling" triggers a thought process in your mind without you knowing why.

And also in my own real word experiments, I have witnessed this work and it does work almost in a magical way.   Remember, you are directing unconscious processes with these tools, this is very powerful.

I hope this concludes this post well.

Understanding Attitude & Technique: Technique (2 of 2)

Hi everyone,  (or: anyone out there who still follows this..)

I know it's been quite a while and I kinda disappeared.
In my last post I kind of covered and unvealed the TRUE knowledge one should know about approaching and opening conversations with women, and I kind of left it unfinished, so here I am to finish this series of posts.

Before I continue, there is something I want to say here.

I have no idea who is still following my blog posts, because A. I haven't written here for a while and B. I removed any links to this blog from any forums I post on.  The reason I removed my blog is because there are alot of people in the so called "seduction community" that even though they try to create an image that they care about helping people, what they realy are in reality are scammers who do nothing but steal materials form others and sell it for money.  And exactly because of people like those I stopped posting and stopped sharing almost ANY knowledge I have on the internet, except for here.

This blog is more about being my own place that I have built for myself and for the purpose of keeping these notes for myself.  So if you are one of the people who still follow what I write, I admire you and welcome you and I'm definitely sure you are going to get alot of benefits from reading what I share here.

OK, so now once I've cleared this out, here we go with the last part about knowing the techniques to seduce (or actually get results) with women.

Although I know this post is entitled "Techniques", actually alot of this post is going to be about mindsets and understandings.  I may include some techniques and may not.  So, enjoy!



So here we are with the question we left last time: WHAT DO YOU DO AFTER THE APPROACH/OPENER?




OK.   Let's do a brief review about the approach and the opener's purposes are: The approach is meant to create an opportunity for an interaction, the opener is meant to start a conversation AND see how the woman responds to it.   This is a realy crucial part.   How she responds to it will determine EVERYTHING.

Actually there are signs you can look for even before you approach the woman that may indicated she's interested in meeting you:

1. Most evident - She turns her entire bodylanguage towards your direction.  This is an obvious IOI.  An important understanding: DON'T WAIT FOR HER EYE CONTACT.   Eye contact is just ONE of the many interest signs women give.  I know you may see it like this in movies, but in reality alot of women DON'T HAVE THE BALLS IT TAKES to look a man in the eyes, so they give alot of other signs that are just as equally strong.   Remember: People are driven by emotions.  When an emotion takes over them (In this case: An intrigue/interest to meet a guy..) she can't entirely fake it that she's not interested.  AT SOME LEVEL HER INTEREST TOWARDS YOU WILL COME OUT.  I'm giving you here more than one way to notice it :-)

2. She sits and-or positions herselfs CLOSE to you.   Again, obvious IOI.  If you don't understand why, maybe the next will clear this up for you..

3. She glanced at your direction MORE than once.  Again, I know these may be small signs but there's an important psychological understanding to realize behind them - Women at some level KNOW that guys want to approach them (Especially the hotter they are!) and may even want it themselves as well.  I don't know how it is abroad but I know for certain that alot of women in Israel, had experiences of very uncomfortable interactions with guys.   This is reality.   I'm sure EVERY WOMAN experienced this in her life LOL, so obvious.  So anyway - when women give these small signs they KNOW that a guy may approach them, so they will be VERY CAREFUL about not giving those signs to the wrong people (Or: someone they DON'T want to approach them).  So if they DO GIVE YOU THESE SIGNS, You are 100% -IN-.    If she realy didn't want you to approach her she would never give those signs.


OK, That's as far as the approaching.  Now, once you opened again it's almost the same psychological understanding here - women KNOW they can be stalked.   So if she:

1. Gives you a lengthy and invested response
2. Smiles when she talks to you
3. Initiates a continuation for the interaction  (Even if it's a small one..)

That means she is IN.  SHE WANTS YOU TO CONTINUE.   Again, for the same understanding.

So now comes the part of the HOW/WHAT to do AFTER the opener.
I will assume, for this part, that you have opened the woman and she gave you a good response and basically appears to be interested and enjoying the interaction.

Here's what to do in order to get a result or "seduction" with the woman:



PART ONE - WHAT YOU ARE AIMING AT


Basically, if you want to get a result, you have to aim at three main things in the interaction:

1. Comfort - very important!
2. Interest
3. Heat   (Or: sexual arousal)

Here's the thing: If you only give her "Comfort", you are nothing but a "Nice guy" to her.  She may take you for a long term relationship if you have alot of money (LOL) but most of the times she'll just forget about you if you don't combine at least being interesting to her (Which is the next part).  Always remember: Comfort is just the bread and butter for the seduction.   It only serves as a base ground to be able to start seducing her from.  It's quite logical - she must feel comfortable about the whole thing.  This is why I covered approaching & opening in detail in the LAST POST.

What creates comfort?  Well laughter, Being non-threatning of course, taking her to a place she enjoys and finding the right vibe & format she responds best to.  More on this in a few moments.

What about "Interest"?  Well if you only give her interest, aka: She enjoys her time with YOU, she likes talking to you, she likes the things you two do together, well that's really cool and great... for a "FRIEND"!!   Remember: Women have guy friends.   They never sleep with them, though.  But they do hang out with them, talk to them for hours on the phone.  What is a "friend"?  Well it's the combination of Comfort & Interest.  Of course - they REALY ENJOY the time with those guy friends.   Some of those guy friends may even be MORE INTERESTING to them than their current lover.   But in the end of the day, again, they don't fuck the guy friend UNLESS he creates Heat & Desire.... and that is the next and last part of the equation:

"Heat".  Heat is the real deal with women if you want to sleep with them.   This is realy what seduces them to the bedroom.  When there's Heat (combined with Comfort usually..) there's SEX.   And if there's no sex, then at least there is an anticipation FOR sex.   And when there is an anticipation for sex, you become something that is WORTH her time.   And when you meet again, just focus on arousing her sexually.   THIS IS WHAT THEY REALY WANT.   Look back at the equation!   There's a wrong conception about women being less horny than guys and not wanting sex the same.  It's BULLSHIT.  If you check the facts, and look at women who are sexually satisfied - they want the sex ALL THE TIME, Sometimes more than we do!   Women are highly addicted creatures especially as far as body pleasures go.  Sex, for women is a complete body sensational experience and pleasure just as much as (and usually ALOT MORE than..) massages, oils and pedicure.  Women LOVE their body and women LOVE how they feel in their body.   And women will HIGHLY VALUE any man that can AROUSE them and/or make them feel GREAT in their BODY.   This is how MOST of them get actually aroused.   It's NOT A FUCKING CRIME to try and seduce a woman.   I mean think about it - women are not ashamed of seducing us, guys, sexually.   They dress hot and they invest in their looks on purpose to turn us, guys, ON.  So you have every right to seduce women and in fact you MUST, if you ever want to get sex and or love.

Heat is what realy makes all the difference towards sex.  And you can become a MASTER at arousing women sexually... you know why?    Because 99% of the guys just DON'T EVEN TRY.    Guys are so focused about just "talking" and/or "flirting" with women.   I don't say that women don't like being flirted or talked to.   But when you start touching them and/or BRINGING UP topics of sex and arousal, then you realy become someone "interesting" to her more than just a friend.   I mean think about it - most "friends" are guys they know for ages, since school etc.  When you meet a woman in cold approach, you don't have years to become her "friend" so don't even try.  Focus on becoming her most amazing lover she ever had.  Yes, that may sound like you have to become a kind of a "whore".  Well, I didn't say provide your services for free or to any woman.  MANY WOMEN DON'T DESERVE IT.   But.. if she's open, receptive, interested and looks eager at the interaction - you CAN give her the gift of becoming the most amazing lover she ever had, and she wants it!

Whew... that was alot, but that's realy the basic of what you should do.
Now let's move over and unpack each and one of those in detail..



The right way (or mindset) to look at how the interaction builds up AFTER the opener:

An interaction with a woman is NEVER a fixed or linear thing.  Yes there can be roadmaps or basic "goals" to achieve, like the ones I laid out in the previous section.   But in reality, ANY INTERACTION with ANY WOMAN is realy an EXPERIMENTATION.   You never know what kind of a person she is, what she best responds to, what intrigues her and how she becomes aroused BEFORE YOU INTERACT with her.   So you can NEVER make assumptions.  EVEN if she looks interested in you, you still have to go and find out.   So you can already write down this first attitude when you approach to open an interaction with a woman:

"Let's experiment and see how it goes.."

Now, there are 3 main "areas" you can experiment with once you opened her (big credits to Ross Jeffries here!):

1. Vibe - Your vibe, that is.  Any woman responds best and most strongly to a certain vibe (or vibes).  Some women are funny people so they will hardly ever respond well to a "serious" (or more dominant) vibe.  Other women get turned off by a funny guy and gets more turned on by a dominant (and "serious") guy.   Some women realy can't stand a dominant person and want an honest and vulnerable guy.  Some women even respond best to a WEAK and sensitive (even shy) guy.   Some women are so filled with life and so sick of all the guys trying to dominate or tell stories to them that they feel they have alot they want to share and they want someone who can just LISTEN to them talking!   So you see it's realy dynamic, there's NO ONE FIXED VIBE THAT FITS ALL.   What's the best way to know?  Well, experiment and find out!!!   (It's the only way realy)   How will you find out?   Try playing with your vibes a little.   (BTW: If you don't have a dominant character in your tool box.. start developing one!   Stand in front of the mirror in your house and practice.  Believe me guys - you CAN become ANY person you want.  And it's not that big deal, all it takes is just some basic rehearsing and the mind has a wonderful mechanism of muscle memory to remember everything you rehearsed to come out naturally in the field.).  When you start playing and shifting your vibes, you WILL NOTICE, at some point, that the woman suddenly locks her eyes into you, doesn't look away, and seem to hang on every word you say and/or give you the eyescan.   That's usually very obvious and noticable sign that tells you you're on the right track.

2. Formats - A format is basically a communication structure.  It can be a question, a story, a joke, a cocky/funny comment, a game, a quiz, a demonstration, etc.   Some women are realy intrigued from a guy who shows genuine interest in them so they LOVE questions.  Some women realy like to be shared stories with.  Some women are into funny stuff / jokes.  Some women are realy into demos, quizes and finding out new stuff they didn't know before.   Again, there's no one fixed thing here, and usually any "normal" interaction between people combines more than one format: I mean you can't just sit there all evening and ask her questions.  That's realy bizzare and feels like an interrogation :-)  You must share some stuff sometimes too, but if you see she responds MOST STRONGLY to questions, then you can structure MOST of your seduction to be based on questions.  If you see she responds best to jokes, structure MOST of your interaction around jokes.   If you see she responds best to you sharing stuff with her, do that.   Get my point?

3. Themes/Topics - The themes (or topics) of conversations you choose are another aspect you can play and experiment with.  My own personal belief is that any woman (or person) RESPONDS to something.  Even if she looks like a shallow person, somewhere inside of her there is a strong desire and responds to something.   There are some common themes you can usually talk to women and most of them will respond to them - things like indulgence of all sorts (food, body, pleasures..), connections and-or understanding people and their actions (they talk about this ALOT between themselves!), trips to abroad, television shows, live performers (or bands/music) etc.  There's a broad range of themes and topics you can choose, the best ones will be the ones she responds most strongly to and is eager to talk alot about.   If she feels compelled to talk alot about some subject - UNLESS it's her boyfriend or some guy she wants, which you must avoid at all costs.. but if she likes talking about shopping?   Talk with her about shopping!   It makes sense to her.   Shopping may not be something that you are highly interested in, true.  You may be more into writing music or reading books.. but while this may be interesting to you, to HER it may be BORING and uncomfortable.   But if she gets all passionate about shopping... then avoiding this subject will be nothing but a stupidity.  TALK TO HER AS MUCH AS YOU WANT ABOUT SHOPPING!    This way, she gets all excited about the interaction with you and it becomes something she enjoys and remember - how she feels is the most important thing to you! So again, themes and topics are another aspect you can experiment with and when you find one she enjoys talking about you will almost surely notice her starting to open up and talk more.


Things to notice that let's you know you're in the right track or wrong track:


1. Body language - Open or Close?    If she closes her body language (like - holds her hands in a position that closes her chest) that's a sign you're on the WRONG track.  If you see her, however, losening up and especially if her body language opens up entirely - that means you're on the RIGHT track.

2. Investment on her part - Is she participating alot?   If yes, you're on the right track.  If not, then you're on the wrong track.   Switch the vibe, format or theme and try again.


Basically the general model of operation is the same like in NLP's T.O.T.E - Test, Operate, Test, Exit.
With women, you always test her responses.   A general attitude and rule here is this:

Her responses are the most important thing and guide to your seduction.  Her responses will guide you to what are the right vibes, formats and themes that will open up and seduce her.




So you always try something, and see how she responds.  If you don't get a good response, you just change the tools and try again.   NEVER make assumptions that a woman doesn't want to talk you or isn't interested.   If she's still there, and not giving you any bad responses but neutral or "weak" responses, that just means that what you tried now just didn't create a response in her.  THAT'S ALL.  It doesn't mean NOTHING else.   If she gets up and leaves or asks you to stop or gives you realy bad vibe or sign to leave, then you can leave and "exit".   But my experience has taught me that 99% of the times women NEVER give you bad responses.   They either just don't respond to something you do, respond in a neutral/weak way, respond in a good way, or respond in a great way!

So as you can see, an interaction is alot about experimenting and trying different things and noticing how she responds to it and adapting according to it until you find the "good" and "correct" path that she starts opening up the most to.   This is the real game and the real skill guys.   The more flexible you are here, the more vibes you can introduce, the more formats you can induce, and the more themes and topics of conversations you can introduce, the better you are and you could eventually be able to open and connect with any woman and seduce any woman.   It's all about your flexibility here.   Guys who are not as flexible or who are not as tuned in to how the woman responds and adapt accordignly WILL get shut down by alot of women that YOU WILL SUCCEED WITH, simply because you can adapt to them better than those guys.    And feel good about any challenge!    Any woman that you meet who may be difficult to connect at first is a golden opportunity for you to increase your skill by trying more tools.   This is kind of like an "advanced" level in a computer game.   Believe me, When you reach the point that you can approach a woman that at first sits with her entire body language closed to you and doesn't participate.. and turn her around so that she suddenly opens up and is all into you - THEN, my friend, you'll know that you have advanced to masters level in the game :-)



Also, there is another very important rule here you must internalize:

When you see she's ready, STOP seducing and start CLOSING!!!!!


Yes, this assumes she in fact MIGHT be ready at any moment.  This is realy how it is with women.  Women can get turned on and actually be ready for you to close them (physically!!) even after a minute into approaching.   How do you notice that she's ready?

1. She starts playing with her hair.   Most obvious sign there is.  She leans forward, plays with her hair and becomes all feminine.

2. She starts touching you.

3. Her entire body language is open, towars you, and she keeps looking at you alot.


When you see any of these signs, EVEN if it's after a minute into approach, stop seducing and start closing.  Women have these moments when they feel ready - when their interest level, or "buying temperture" how they like to call it in the seduction community, is IN THE ROOF.   THESE ARE THE MOMENTS SHE IS MOST READY AND MOST LIKELY TO FLOW WITH A "CLOSE".   So just look carefully and notice those moments.   Think about it like selling ice cream to a kid, when is he more likely to buy?   If he is totally eager and wants it NOW?   Or if he just had a meal?    You see, when you miss those moments when the girl is ready (although i HATE to use the word "miss" because you generally speaking never miss anything.   In every 5-10 minutes you can meet a new woman who is just as hot and pretty!), but in terms of timing.. women have a tendency to have these "spikes" moments of high readiness for closure, and after them they "fractionate" out of it back to "normal" mode (and especially if you bring up a boring subject... LOL.  See how bad it is?   It's alot better to try and fucking KISS HER when she's ready than to keep talking cause it will just cool her off and bring down her excitement and then when you try to close she "won't feel like it".. as they always say.   You KNOW they "go with how they feel" right?   So close them, or even propose a venue change.. ANYTHING - when you see THEY ARE READY, and they will 99% of the times agree because this is just HOW WOMEN ARE - they are EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN.  They feel it?  They do it!   So when they feel excited and ready - START CLOSING!!).




Is that all?


No, but that's definitely enough for alot of women.   You see, My  belief is that many women, if they are already attracted to you, just need to "feel right" about doing it.   And getting them to feel right is just through using everything I just explained above - experimenting with your vibes, formats and themes to get an ongoing, enjoyable, exciting interaction.  For many women that is all they need, and once you get it they'll start showing you they are ready to be closed.   They will start playing with their hair, lean forward, and everything I just said.  THAT IS ENOUGH my friends.   When you see them go this way, CLOSE, and you it will most likely succeed.

Although still everything I just explained above is related to creating Comfort and (mainly) Interest.  You see, you may not have years to become her "friend".  But if you can instantly find what she responds best to, she will definitely enjoy every moment with you , may even get turned on .. and all of this EVEN if it's not a sexual thing.

However, now I want to finish this post with talking about the last but not least and probably most important of all, how to create Heat, Arousal and Desire!



HEAT:

Ok, so like I said you can do all the above and alot of women will get to a point when they start sending you this "I'm ready" signals.  Then you can propose isolation, and even close them physically (if the logistics allow it,  if not - propose isolation).

Then in the isolation, or even before, or even at any moment of the interaction ONCE you've got her feeling comfortable with you and enjoying her time with you, you must start moving things to a sexual direction in order to become a lover.

How do you do it?

1. Kino and Touch.  One of the strongest arousing things to women, as they are very sensitive in their body and they respond very strongly to body sensations.  To say it short - when you become a great toucher that women enjoy your touch, it starts activating those arousal circuits.  To some women a good touch is all she needs to conclude that you may be a wonderful lover.   I believe that almost any woman out there LIKES and enjoys a good touch, although it may or may not arouse some and others not.

2. A Kiss.   This is again related to kino and touch, but a good kiss can be one of the most turning on things to a woman.   Learn how to kiss properly, so that when the time comes (or: she shows you "she's ready") and you're in isolation, you kiss her so passionately she'll drip her pants off!   A golden tip here: always go for kissing her on the neck first before the lips.   The neck is one of the most erotic spots in a woman's body, and when kissed properly in this spot alone, you can get a woman dripping wet in less than a minute.   A good kiss on the neck is, in my opinion, the best tool you can use to get her all heated up and ready for sex.

3. Sexual themes.   Women can get unbelievably turned on from talking about sex alone just like we do.  The guys in the community who say "women don't get turned on from words, just touch" is nothing but BULLSHIT.  Women get turned on from talking about sex JUST AS MUCH as we are.  It all depends how you introduce it and when.   If you do it after comfort and interest is there, it will work.   If you try to do it as your first move it will almost always look wierd and creepy although even that CAN work sometimes LOL...  Anyways, I usually like to start by talking about what a wonderful massage feels like.  Women realy tend to visualize almost anything you say very vividly.  And if you can describe a perfect massage to her, and preferably do it in a VAGUE language that she can fill in with her own most desired way of massaging (thanks Ross Jeffries again for this!), she will almost likely get VERY TURNED ON FROM IT and want it right now!    Never underestimate the power of words.   Again - how she responds will tell you.   Maybe she just wants to get physical, and maybe she needs to be turned on verbally first.   Only your experimentation and testing will reveal the answer to this!

4. Sexual Ambiguity.   OK, Sometimes the situation doesn't allow any physical move, and talking to her directly about a sexual theme may scare her or completely alarm her.   That doesn't mean she doesn't want it, it just means you have to use a more "sneaky" way to get her turned on, and that's where sexual ambiguities come in.   For example: "One of my best friends, Dick, has a very long.. and thick.. hair, that he always keeps talking about"  (Slightly emphasizing the marked words, not blatantly so she notices it, but in a way that A. Makes these word stand out a little, B. Make the whole thing feel as if you say it naturally so it is not noticed consciously by her).   See what I did?   You put in the word "Dick", "Very long" and "Thick".. and even though the sentence itself talks about your friend, Dick, it contains words in it that CAN BE INTERPRETED in the other "meaning" they have :-)  (Which is sexual).  This "injects" sexual ideas and images to the mind of a woman in a way that feels, to her, as if it came from within herself - as if SHE'S the one who thought about it.  And the good thing about it is that you can include it in any theme or conversation.   Although a small tip here - they will usually be more noticed (or interpreted sexually) if you brought up any sexual topic BEFORE them, even in a way that doesn't feel like YOU said it (maybe quote someone..).   Anyways, it still doesn't change the fact that it makes her THINK about a LONG AND THICK DICK (LOL!).  And .. do you think that if she thinks about it.. it doesn't turn her on?    Think again my friend.   Boy oh boy do they get turned on from it, and yes it may even go all around in her mind so that she starts thinking about whether or not YOUR DICK is long and thick.. and if she starts thinking THAT.. the way from here to sex, or to her to start giving you the "I'm ready" signals is VERY short.


So you see?   Even as fast as the heat goes, there's more than one way to use, and again I can't realy tell you which way would work best although usually once a woman feels comfortable and interested you can just start touching her and see how she responds.  In my experience, MOST WOMEN responds VERY GOOD to touching that I just assume that touch and kino, as well as a good kiss on the neck, are my top 2 ways to get women turned on, which is why I listed them both here.   In my experience, almost ANY TIME I managed to start kissing a girl on the neck in a passionate way it ALWAYS led to sex and the bedroom.   They just get so dripping wet from it it's as powerful, on them, the effect just as much as when you have an erection for a woman.

And again remember, I get back to Heat: just doing Comfort and Interest, while they speed up your process tremendously and lay out the best and ideal base ground to seduce her, I see them only as another step before actually starting to heat the girl up sexually which is what you TRUELY want from the interaction.

ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!
ALWAYS AIM AT HEATING THEM!


OK.

And that's it for this post.


-- leedrag0n.

Understanding Attitude & Technique: Technique (1 of 2)

Hey guys!

In the last post I unpacked the first part in the equation of attitude & technique where I talked about the right attitude to have with women: a screening attitude.

Both in the last post and in the post before it ("Finding the balance between Attitude & Technique") I emphasized that in order to get results with women simply having the right attitude ISN'T ENOUGH. You must also know the right techniques for how to approach, open a conversation, talk and move things with women.

That's what I'm going to talk about in this post.

Because of the length of this post I decided to split it to 2 parts. The first part will describe the opening part, the second will talk about what to do after the opening.

I explained in detail in the last 2 posts why just learning attitude, without learning the right techniques, is a sabotage to your game. I see so many guys who desperately look for "the short path to success" and fall a victim to "gurus" who sell them materials that talk about "Attitude", and then these guys go out to the field without any knowledge on how to socialize, talk and open conversations with people properly and then they go out with their kick-ass "Attitude" and just scare people off because they try to talk to them in a NON-SOCIAL, non-calibrated, sometimes even terrifying way. These people usually sooner or later abandon the game because they see no results, and that's quite reasonable. YOU CAN'T GET RESULTS WITH JUST "ATTITUDE"! YOU MUST LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE AND CALIBRATE TO OTHER PEOPLE CORRECTLY!

That just makes sense, doesn't it?

So let's start with the Techniques. As I said before, Attitude & Technique realy go hand in hand together, therefore I figure that in order to fully understand these techniques, one must also understand the driving principles and thinking behind them so they will make full sense to him.

So, there are 3 KEYS that drive EVERYTHING I'm going to talk about in this post, and they are:

1. Emotions - As I talked about before in great detail, human beings are driven by how they FEEL. If they feel good, safe, and fun about an activity, they'll KEEP doing it and they'll move TOWARDS it. If they feel bad, threatened or discomfort about it, they'll RUN AWAY from it. This just makes sense. Plus: always remember that emotions drive actions and by triggering the right emotions you can trigger the right actions you want from women. More on this later.

2. Dynamics - In the last post I mentioned that the dynamics between you and a woman are crucial for your success with her. The WORST dynamics (and some women will constantly try to put you in it..) is one where you are chasing after her. This is realy all about investment. The ideal dynamic to create is one where SHE is investing more than you in the conversation, because the more she is "investing" the more she actually wants it. A dynamic where BOTH OF YOU invest the same amount back at each other is ok too, but NEVER one where YOU make all the moves. So in every move you make, be alert and aware to the Dynamics that such move creates. Sometimes you may have to deliberately take a step back from the interaction to see if she is taking a step forward and invests in it. This is also related to the next point..

3. Screening - I'll talk in depth about this one. OK Listen: Although naturally you'll want to make your moves focus around creating the right emotional states, they also have to screen the woman in someway. This is realy crucial. There are many reasons for this: Main one being the dynamics that are created as I explained in the last point. You always want to make sure the woman is investing in the interaction at least as much as you do, and ideally MORE than you, and in order to condition this you have to sometimes make moves that are deliberately designed to not only "screen" the woman but to also create an investment (or compliancy) on her part. The whole "chasing her" dynamics, as being presented in the movies, in reality not only that it doesn't "seduce" or "excite" women in anyway, it also gives them a golden opportunity to categorize you as a "chaser/orbiter", which makes you LESS interesting in her eyes. This is also related to the emotions it creates. When something is too obvious and taken for granted to a woman, it just feels boring and expected, and that's when they use it to take over the dynamics and make you chase them, because they realy don't "feel" any desire towards you. "Boring" doesn't motivate or seduce her in anyway, "Challenging" or "Interesting" does. Another reason why you want to screen women is to check for personality traits in her you are looking for and of course to avoid wasting your time on women who do not fit game wise. Example: Goldiggers. Even more than this, when women feel they are being screened, it creates a challenge for her to "prove" you that she's not like that. "Challenge" is a good motivator as it creates a desire in a woman to prove you otherwise AND it also creates investment and compliancy. I'll talk more about this later in this post.

So behind every move you make with a woman, whether its Approaching, Opening, Talking or Closing, you want to ideally think in terms of both Emotions (what emotions is this designed to arise in her), Screening (what can I screen for with this move..), and Dynamics (how do I create an investment from her? what dynamics does this move create?).

I'll get back to these 3 letters, E.S.D - Emotions, Screening, Dynamics, throughout the rest of this post. If you can remember and master these 3 letters in your head, you WILL be alot better than almost ANY GUY out there who fucks it up in one or more of those.

So after I laid out the basic understandings, let's get the basic techniques now..

Approaching:

By "Approaching" I mean the non-verbal act of physically walking up and/or positioning yourself near a woman you want BEFORE you open your mouth.

The psychology that you have to understand here is that most people (if not all) are usually going to feel scared of a stranger that suddenly walks up to them and starts talking to them. If you don't believe it, imagine yourself for a moment walking down the street when you suddenly see some guy passing the street and walks up directly at you. You don't know this guy.. what's your FIRST reaction going to be? How will you FEEL in that moment? Exactly! So it goes the same for WOMEN as well.

The right way to do this step is to structure your approach to appear as if "it just happend" accidently or naturally that you stood near her and started talking, which is also perceived as a safe and non-threatening encounter. As I just demonstrated to you with the example above, this section of the game is perceived and played non-verbally, therefore one must understand the basic rules of non-verbal communications done here.

Remember the basic attitude for the Approach!

Yes, we go back to the attitude that drives it all. This is what "drives" you internally in your actions, remember, as always: You are there to screen for women who are friendly, open, and fun. If you still apply all of the following principles and run into women who respond negatively to them, just LET THEM GO! They are not useful targets.

So let's unpack approaching a little further..

Eye Contact:

Eye Contact plays a big role here. Ideally, you want to NEVER be seen to be looking at her when she FIRST see's you - this automatically removes the "This guy wants to talk to me" perception of you, and it just feels way more safe to her, which is what you aim at.

There is one exception to this though: What happends if she DID see you looking at her? Well, if she did "catch" you looking at her, the question is how far you are from each other at that moment. If you are both very close to each other then the ideal move here would be to immediately throw a preopener at her. A preopener is just a neutral question of sorts: Asking for directions, asking for the time etc. If you do this, you again create a good perception about you of "OK, this guy is safe he just wanted to ask me something.." and appear to be a guy who was just looking for some help, and you can also transition very easily to a conversation from it. (I'll get to it later in the section about preopeners.. for now this is all related to Eye Contact).

If you are far from each other, though, and she did catch you looking at her, it's again no big deal either. Just break eye contact and continue as usual. You may occasionally check her out briefly, or even decide to walk up and use a preopener. The important thing to remember here is to NEVER stare at her - staring at people just scares them off and appears to be threatening = VERY bad!

So as long as you don't stare in her, then the Eye Contact game can actually be a good screening tool: If you catched her looking at you more than once, or if you both looked at each other and she didn't get scared from it, that means good things about her = it can mean she likes you, it can mean she is a friendly person who doesn't run off from interactions. It's great.

Positioning:

OK, now after we talked about Eye Contact, let's move to talk about positioning yourself near her to talk. Key rule here is to NEVER walk directly at her - again, this is threatening and may scare her off, which you never want!

If she's in a static position (aka: not moving), think of a good "excuse" in your head to walk near her, almost as if you direct a scene from a movie that makes it appear accidental. Yeah this requires some gaming skills. Now I know some guys will scream: "Never excuse, bla bla bla".. No, this is BULLSHIT guys! The whole "Never excuse yourself" attitude just turns people into arrogant and tactless guys who scare women off. If you really wanna be a master at approaching, forget that crap and Listen to what I say here: Think of some "excuse", just for yourself, why you walked near her, and then walk over there slowly and elegantly in a way that "fits" your scene and appears as if "it just happend". For example: She is in the bar, and you wanted to get a drink OR put your jacket in her chair. This makes the approach seem "accidental" in her eyes, which is what you want. When you do it, combine it with the Eye Contact thing and DO NOT LOOK AT HER until you catch her looking at you first, and only THEN you can open and it's going to open her up. If it's in a store, and she stands near an aisle, you can just walk up to that aisle to check for some product and then "accidentally" bump into her, without looking at her at first, again..

If she's on the move, again think "accidental" and spontaneous: you just walk at each other, without looking at her of course (as this will CREEP her out..) and in the "last moment" you stop her with a preopener of sorts because she was the closest person who accidentaly passed near you and you wanted to ask her something.

I will sometimes even "direct" a scene where I'm talking on the phone with someone as she passes near me, which makes this seem totally spontaneous to her. Yeah I know it sounds like a play from a movie, but this is exactly why they call us "Players", and why seduction is an art.. don't you think? :-)

Another great tactic I started to use recently is that I will see a woman standing near a seller, and I will actually deliberately walk up to the seller and ignore the woman I want completely and talk to the seller. This is perceived, again, by the woman, as being random and safe, and also it gives her a "glimpse" of the way an interaction with me would go.. and because the sellers are usually friendly and nice with me, that's an even better setup for the approach because it creates some level of jealousy in the woman.. and alot of times, believe it or not, it makes the woman open me herself first.. by listening to what I talk about with the seller and then "sharing" her opinion.. and even if she didn't open me, well at least she now saw me and perceives me as a friendly, non-threatening and safe person.. so from here I can just move on to "bump into her" accidentally again, and start as normal.

Inducing an "Approach Invite":

This is an advanced concept I have learned from Gunwitch, but it is genius and works like magic based on psychology alone. You can use this principle on stationary women and EVEN on women who are on the move and it works the same in both cases when applied right.

Basically before you start talking to her, you can make her feel as if she is the one who actually invited you to talk herself. I won't go into the psychology behind it here, if you want you can get Gunwitch's "Way Of Gun" course to learn it. But basically this is done by appearing to be looking at something in her general direction (but NOT on her!). This way you can see her in your peripheral vision and notice when she is looking at you. When she see's you she of course notices that you are not looking at her.. which by itself already makes it feel alot more safe to her. But there's something else that is realy clever here - When you wait for HER to "notice" you first.. and SHE WILL of course at some point.. and only THEN you initiate a talk with her.. it feels to HER, at core levels, not only more safe and "accepted" but also it feels to her like something she has invited you to.

To her, at internal level, it feels as if SHE gave you "The Vibe" to start talking to her, so therefore it can NEVER resisted by her and just goes to work like clockwork. This is extremely powerful.

Now, the best thing about it is that you can even apply it when a chick is walking near you or at your direction - You basically look at something in her general area (but NOT her, of course).. then again at some point she WILL look at you, of course, and then when you spot this "artificial vibe" you induced, only then you talk to her.

Try it in the real world. You won't believe how effective this approach is.

Screening:

At the approach phase, you can also screen the woman very quickly: If you position yourself near her in a way that is safe and accidental, and she still keeps moving away from you more than once, that basically SCREENS HER OUT immediately, so it saves you time already right there.

Also at the preopener phase, you can see how well she responds to it - if she seems friendly and open and ideally if she STAYS there and gives you a long and invested response, that's a realy good indicator. On the other hand, if she doesn't stop and throws a one word answer just to run away from the interaction, she is immediately SCREENED OUT.

Guys - DO NOT be afraid to SCREEN WOMEN OUT! Actually, if you can let women go at the same ease as you can let them in (or: Approach them and give them an opportunity), then your life with women will be VERY easy and enjoyable. I know that alot of guys just can't let women go easily and that's the reason for ALL their problems with women. Consider this deeply..

So to sum Approaching up: The Approach is realy all about creating an "accidental", safe, non-threatening and/or even spontaneous encounter that feels relaxed, pleasant and comfortable for the woman (and you too, of course). The Approach is also designed to screen out women who are non-friendly or non-receptive right off before even opening them.

Mastering the art of Approaching is all about mastering how you manage your Eye Contact, your Positioning, and your creativity in creating random and/or "accidental" or spontaneous encounters with or without preopeners.

So now, once I shared with you how to approach women properly, let's move to how to open them properly..

Opening:

As I explained in the last section in detail, the "approach" is realy the setup for the opening. If your setup for the opening is safe, spontaneous and accidental, then opening is alot easier and will be received WAY better. Also, it will be easier to transition to a conversation from it.

Sometimes though, there are situations where it's difficult to create a good approach and you just have to open her. This is where the preopener gets into play..

Preopener:

A preopener is generally something that I always use, even with a good approach, and EVEN if the woman has gave me indicators of interest first, as a setup for the opening itself.

A preopener is just a neutral comment or question in nature that is designed to "break the ice" with a stranger and create responsiveness in her. it can be anything from "What time is it?", to "Can you take a picture of us?" (in a club) all the way to "Excuse me, are you the sister of X by chance?" (X = Some name..) or even "That's a nice purse". It's not designed to create a full-on conversation yet, but it's a really useful setup for it.. for several reasons:

1. It breaks the ice and creates some rapport - Because you are no longer "a stranger" in their eyes after the preopener. Now, you are someone they "know" at some level, and because the preopener is perceived as something neutral, you are also a safe and non-threatening person now, which gives you a great start.

2. It creates a response - People are naturally conditioned to response to preopeners anytime, anywhere. If you don't believe me, walk up to 100 georgous women and ask them what time is it. You'll get an almost 100% response rate, I guarantee you.

3. It creates responsiveness - Or "response potential". Once they responsed the first time, it's going to be extremely difficult for them to not response to another question you ask because you just conditioned them to response and rapport with you.

4. Can be used anytime, anywhere - And you don't always have to create an approach setup for it.

5. Helps you screen them out VERY quickly - Basically how they answer to your preopener can show you ALOT about their openess and friendliness right off the bat, so you can already here make a decision whether you want to talk to them more, or not.

6. Sometimes, a preopener is all that is required to open them - Yes, believe it or not, some women respond SO good to a preopener that you can instantly transition them to a conversation from it alone.

So basically a preopener is realy just another approaching tool, that's why it's called a preopener, not an opener, but it helps you setup a realy good opening.

Here's a useful tip: When you deliver your preopener, be aware to the state she is in and match it accordingly. You don't have to do it precisely, just be aware to it and adapt your preopener. This can realy make a difference, as people are naturally more open and receptive to others who are "like them" or "at their level" in an unconscious level.

Opening Sequence:

Now let's talk about structuring a good and effective sequence to open a conversation with any woman, and this sequence can also be used to strike up a conversation with virtually anyone.

Once the approach, once the preopener, it's time to actually strike a conversation with the other person. A key thinking to remember is this: Women are emotional creatures. My strategy is that I want to create good and/or intriguing emotions in them first - that way, the interaction is going to become something pleasurable that she enjoys or something intriguing that she's drawn to and will naturally want more of, thus making me more interesting, intriguing, and enjoying in their eyes, so her enjoyment and intrigue will make her open up and start to invest in the interaction, which is exactly what I want!

How is this done?

Well post approaching, post the preopener, I usually prefer to start with a basic and simple Comment/Question/Observation sequence that is designed to create responsiveness from the woman. I learned this from Ross Jeffries, so full credits to him. This sequence is VERY useful because it creates responsiveness (aka: "response potential") and an ongoing communication with the woman in a way that is NEVER detected and is also perceived as something that "just happends" between you naturally and effortlessly.

The cleverness of the C/Q/O sequence is that each piece in it sets up the piece that follows: Your comment ("Nice shoes..") gets a response from her and sets her up to your question that follows ("Where did you buy them?") that once again gets a response from her and sets her up to your observation ("I have a friend who has exactly the same kind.. this is such a coincidence..") and because all of the parts are supporting and connected to each other, it realy goes like clockwork and feels, to her, like something that "just happends" in a natural and flowing way.

When you combine this sequence with a preopener and a good approach, this all merges smoothly to an ongoing/flowing conversation that you can then take to any direction you want - you can start talking about the weather, or the place you're both at, or bring any topic you'd like easily. This structure creates rapport and opens a flowing communication between you that you can then use to start evoking positive emotional states in her such as intrigue, fun, laughter and enjoyment BEFORE you move on to actually meeting her (By asking her "Are you from the area?" or "Where are you from?" and going on from there..), and by doing all of this together, you set up the framework for a very pleasant conversation that you can then start seducing her in!

I'm telling you: If you will use and apply the structure as I showed it in here, you WILL increase your response rate from women BIG TIME!

As you can see, this is all based on influence and psychology, nothing random or accidental. Yes, it IS structured in a way that is perceived to other people "as if" it just happend accidentally and feels pleasant and effortless to them (which is GREAT) but it is actually a system that you can remember easily and is flexible enough to adopt to any situation.

Then once I get a nice opening I will usually, within the first minute of the interaction, try to create some intrigue, enjoyment and/or curiousity and interest in the woman. This is what can realy make all the difference. Why do I do this? Again because women are emotional creatures. So if she enjoys or gets a thrill from the interaction with me.. she'll naturally WANT to stay there and get more.. and she will view me through a way different light as someone more interesting! (Think about it..)

How do I do this? Sometimes it can be throwing a small joke to make them laugh (which is ideally the first emotion I want, because of the enjoyment it creates..), sometimes it can be throwing something that gets them curious (like: how do we know each other already? :)) in rare cases I may throw a small challenge. Nonetheless, evoking these small "emotions" right at the start make the interaction with you into something pleasurable, interesting and intriguing - which makes them naturally want to stay and enjoy more of it, which is what you want!

What to do after this will be covered in the next part.

So that was it for part 1 guys, feel free to post your feedback, questions, etc.

-- leedrag0n

Understanding Attitude & Technique: Attitude

Hey guys!

This is a post where I'll unpack what I talked about in the previous post about finding the balance between attitude & technique. Today I want to go deep and talk in a bit more depth about having the right attitude with women.

This post assumes that you know the right techniques and have basic knowledge on approaching & talking to women. If you don't have it yet, don't worry I'll unpack it in the NEXT post, where I'll talk more about the right techniques to approach & game women. Nonetheless, I still recommend that you read THIS post and understand it deeply, as this can realy have enormous impacts on your game. I mean it! This is not something to be ignored. Then, after you understand it, go over and read the techniques post, as those are important too, and it will all make sense to you.

So let's talk about Attitude, guys.

If you come to game a woman from a worrying/doubt frame of "What should I do to get her?" which is the frame for almost 99% of the guys out there, you're going to fuck yourself up.

This will bring hesitation, pressure, and stress to your game that won't help you at all and infact shouldn't even be there. Why do guys approach women from this perspective? Because they don't want to be "rejected". They view "rejection" as being a negative thing about them, where IN REALITY a rejection is actually a good thing (Because it helps you screen out negative or difficult targets..) and also tells you negative things ABOUT THE WOMAN. Her rejecting you is just an indication about HER lack of spontaneity, HER lack of genuine interest in men, HER lack of self esteem, and maybe even lack of HER ability to be friendly towards people or even open-minded towards new experiences.

As long as your approach is OK, safe and spontanious, as it should be.. and yet she still ignored it.. guess what? She just screened herself OUT of your gaming options. Let her go! You MUST think in terms of HAPPY SEX LIFE.. and if at any point the dynamics between you and woman turn into a struggle, NEXT HER! I mean it. An interaction between a man & a woman SHOULD be a pleasant and enjoyable thing for both sides (as long as it is done RIGHT, of course..), not some kind of a negotiation or struggle. Believe it or not some women are VERY friendly, fun, open minded, even happy human beings who are capable of giving love, sex, and pleasure to and with the people around them. Other women, on the other hand, are close minded, unhappy, pissed off human beings who WILL NOT give ANYTHING unless some very wierd and unpleasant conditions on YOUR PART are met.. and even then.. they will give VERY LITTLE if almost NOTHING at ALL! These women are just energy, money, and mood drainers and should be avoided at ALL costs.. and it doesn't matter how hard you'll game them, you won't get NOTHING from them! NOTHING!

So screening women is a MUST.

Not just game wise, but also for your life.

If you still find yourself feeling bad about a woman who did not "flow" with you... realy ask yourself.. what is SO special about HER? I mean realy.... think about it... What did SHE do FOR YOU that EARNED her this place? Exactly. NOTHING! She may have turned you on sexually (which might be the case) but if you can't do anything with her - she is USELESS for you! She's just a woman who has demonstrated to you that even a simple, safe, and friendly approach couldn't get her interested in talking to you to even give an opportunity for both of you... so really.. just LET HER GO! She's not going to be a useful target anyway...

Why is this attitude so important and so crucial with women?

First of all, this is based on real world facts. If you are a guy who HAVE HAD success with women in the past, MOST women who you've had success with, assuming you approached them right.. are women who were OPEN to your approach right from the start. They didn't avoid it, they didn't run away from it, they gave a good vibe and in most cases they actually helped you keeping the interaction going. So this, by itself is ALREADY an indication you can look for to maximize your efforts, and I'll explain how to do this in the next post about technique, and the things to look for on women to just save your time on the right targets.

Second of all, some women are "conditioned" that guys must chase them. I don't know why. This could be either based on what she is used to from an early age, fears, bad experiences or some wierd belief set or "education" she has got that "the right guy" should be one who chases her and "earns" her approval. Well first of all, if she realy has fears from men or had bad experiences in the past, you realy don't need her.. and if you have the choice to choose women (and you DO, as YOU approach them!), you don't need a nutcase or a psychology test subject for your love life. Trust me on this. It's going to be alot of headache, dramas, terrible sex, and the list goes on and on.. and it's just not worth it where there are PLENTY of healthy, fun, and cool women out there. Second, in reality, I have found that this dynamic of "chasing" a woman NEVER WORKS! (and guys: I'm NOT talking about being persistent in the bedroom while you are both alone. That's not chasing over there, that's being AGGRESSIVE. And being aggressive, in that part of the game, is actually ok ;)... Even worse: once you enter the place where the dynamic between you and a woman turns into you chasing her (and some women WILL keep trying to put you into this dynamic, because that's what they are USED to), you basically gave her ALL THE POWER to control you, and most women (if not all) are really TURNED OFF from this. This is not masculine behaviour! Most women in their core nature are NOT attracted to submissive men who give them the power to control them. I talked to ALOT of girls in my life about this and most of them have approved this, I have tried it myself and it failed. This is an unbelievably crucial and important point. Because this is how she feels about you once you start chasing her or showing her that she's so important to you.

In the next post about technique, I'll get into how to avoid getting into this dynamic and what's a proper way to "handle" women.

And the third reason why this attitude is important is that when you game from this perspective.. when you no longer have to "worry" about what to say or do.. and you can instead just see a woman and go "Let's see if she's a spontaneous person.." or "Let's see if she's the kind of woman I'm looking for.." .. when you get into this place mentally, ALL the pressure is taken off from you, and this gets projected in your vibe and allows you to be genuine, friendly and even attractive to women. I mean think about it - what kind of a person is more attractive? A person who is tense and gives off bad vibes? Or a person who is loose, happy, and open? We all know the answer to this question.

I know that I have spilled alot on you here, but this is realy deep shit stuff you must know and internalize. Especially the part on women selection and understanding why the "chasing her" dynamic never works. I want to give you some tip here: Some women will "reject" you on purpose, even when they are infact interested in you, but they use it as a strategy to get you chasing & investing in them. Its just what they are used to do. NEVER ACCEPT THIS DYNAMIC! You'll never get anything from her once you entered that place. I'll show you, in the next post, ways to deal with women who "reject" you, without appearing to be chasing them.

I'm not saying this based on some ego thing or because I hate women or something. I just say this because "chasing a woman" and giving her all the power to choose you just DOESN'T WORK in the real world with women. Maybe in the movies it does. And I know that if some real and honest women are reading this they WILL agree with me on this.

OK, that was it for now.

I suggest you go over and read this post again and again until you understand it. This information can be life changing for your game and it has taken me quite some time to figure it out in the real world through trial & error with women that everything of what I say here is true with women.

In the next post I'll discuss the techniques and strategies to use on women.. that post should be coming soon.. stay tuned!

-- leedrag0n

Finding the balance between Attitude & Technique

Hey everyone!

It's been more than a month since my last post here. I hope you'll forgive me for this delay between my posts, I know alot of guys realy learn alot from my blog and from all my posts in here, and whenever I'll have available time (as I do have right now..) I'll keep sharing my newest and latest thoughts and breakthroughs here for you to enjoy!

In today's post I want to talk about two things that I believe are very important to be successful in this game: Attitude & Technique.

In recent years there have been alot of "Attitude" based materials spread across the internet. All of these materials are focused around fixing your "inner attitude" with women, and that as a result of fixing it, your entire game with women will "naturally" improve to its best.

This is not true at all. I agree that having the right attitude is important, no doubt about that. What is that "right attitude"? Well, just like Ross Jeffries said, the right attitude is: Let's have some fun and SEE what she's like. In other words, its having a SCREENING attitude. That you are out there to screen women. You must have this attitude with women.

However, will a "screening attitude" be enough for your game? Of course not! And I've seen this happening time and time again, and it also happend to me: When you are too much into the "screening" attitude, you may come across arrogant, break rapport with women.. yet you "believe" that you are "screening" women.. when in fact: you are just scaring them off!

YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN, HOW (AND WHAT) TO TALK TO WOMEN, AND HOW TO FLIRT WITH THEM!

That's just a common mistake for people who are looking for "fast" solutions. Most of the materials that are focused around "attitude" offer a quick fix for your game. But guess what? there is no quick fix! You must learn BOTH attitude & technique!

Attitude is important for your inner state of mind. When you walk around with a "wrong" attitude of "What can I do to win this girl over.." you are just putting alot of STRESS on yourself, and this stress scares women off. So fixing your attitude fixes ALOT of your state related problems.

On the other hand, many times this "good state" can lead you to do mistakes, gamewise, by miscalibrating to the women or approaching in a scaring or arrogant way. So you must learn BOTH!

And finding the right balance between Attitude & Technique is just this: Having the "right" attitude, while at the same time applying skillfully tested techniques to create instant rapport & connection with women, excite and intrigue them emotionally, and be able to calibrate to their state properly and know when is the right time to close!

On the other hand, I actually find that knowing the right technique is even more useful than attitude sometimes: If you know how to approach & open women systematically and consistently, this in itself gives you a confidence in your skills that usually makes your gaming much more easier.

Alot of people are very good at technique, but lack the right attitude to play from. On the other hand, some people have an amazing attitude, but lack at knowing the right techniques to apply (I have friends on BOTH sides).

So remember: It's not just Attitude, and not just Technique.

It's finding the balance between and having them BOTH!

-- leedrag0n

Flexibility and Outward Focus

Hi again, everyone!

It's been almost 2 months since my last post that was about Switching Vibes with women, as I have been a bit busy with work (I needed some money) and have also gamed less during this time, but it was worth it and now I'm getting back out there, and sharing with you my insights and thoughts in here as always.

Today's post is going to related to the last post where I talked about Vibes. Basically today's post will share a very important understanding that will help you know WHY you need it, and it is mainly about the ability to be flexible and to be outward focused with women.

So let's begin with some facts for a moment ..

The reality is that EVERY WOMAN is different. Alot of PU materials are trying to "generalize" ideas and concepts that will be true for "all" women. If you have tried studying and applying those materials, you have surely found out that they are not so accurate. Some PU materials advocate "be dominant and aggressive" with women, where in reality you'll run into women who find your dominance to be a turn off for them. Some PU materials advocate "ignore your target, talk to her friends", where in reality you'll run into women that find this to mean that you want their friends, so they leave your set. Some PU materials advocate that you will be direct and sincere with women, where in reality you'll run into women that your sincerity and honesty don't move a thing inside them.. etc..

So the truth is that there is NO SINGLE METHOD that can work on every woman. Every woman is a different person, has a different personality, gets turned on by different things, and is interested in different things.

So what do we do?

There are 2 things you must remember.

#1: We are NOT mind readers. You can't just "read" minds and immediately be able to tell what she likes / responds to. You must test it and find it yourself by TRYING different things. So the first thing to remember is that you'll MUST, at some point, to "take a risk" and try things on her to see what works.

#2: You must remember that every woman responds differently to different things, and the only way to find this out is by paying attention & observing her carefully and looking for the things that she responds most strongly to. This is also known as "outward focus".

Here's an example: Let's say you talk to this georgous chick in a store. And at some point, you notice, that because of some "story" you said, she began to open up and she tries to "lecture" you. this may point to the fact that she is a girl that LOOKS for someone to listen to her. The first thing is your ability to notice this. And after you noticed it, you can then decide to try and ask her questions to see if your observation was correct. If you find that by asking her questions she opens up even more to you and starts investing in the conversation, then BINGO: You've just found one doorway into her mind.

Why is it so important to pay attention to the way SHE responds?

Because her responses are controlled by the way she FEELS about certain things you do. And whenever you get a good response, that means that you've found a "doorway", or some emotional need in her, that evokes those responses. It generally gives you information on how to further keep going. A good response can be her opening up and investing in the conversation (i.e: She starts talking and sharing her own personal thoughts with you..), or showing any other positive response (like giggling, laughing, playing in her hair). This can also be related to the themes of conversation (if she's all locked on you and listening, it means you've found a theme that interests her).

How can this be done?

In order to be mindful of this, you have to change the filter through which you view your interactions with women. Whenever you're in an interaction with a chick ALWAYS keep the following filter/attitude with you: "Let's see what she respond MOST STRONGLY to..".

It just basically means to change your filter to be outwardly focused on HER and on how SHE responds, and whenever you find something that evokes a useful response from her, KEEP GOING ON THAT TRACK!

Remember: success with women is first and foremost about how she feels, and if she feels good in the interaction with you, if your interaction fulfills emotional needs she is craving for, and you can notice those.. you've got a realy good track going with her.

Feel free to leave your comments..

-- leedrag0n