PU for the dummies!

Hi everyone!

I want to talk a little bit about PU in general, lay out a few basic rules, attitudes and principles that I use and apply myself when I'm out to PU women, and discuss a few mindsets and beliefs that are important & useful.

Some of these guidelines are important so give those a good read.

Here we go:

Basic attitude for PU women - It is a game!

Do you remember how in computer games, or any game - whenever you play it, you're focused 100% on the game and your mind never wanders to other places? You want to have the same attitude with women!

The whole process of approaching a woman, engaging her in a conversation, connecting with her, and then seducing her to either fall in love with you or have sex with you is an art. Not a fixed thing, and it can change with every woman. It's more like .. playing music! And because of this nature, it must be played from an outcome disoriented and fun place.

You only get good and better in this game by gaining experience, and any time you game a woman you learn something.

Basic understanding for human interactions - It's possible to connect with EVERY person!

Every woman is first of all a person.

And every person is a unique individual.

As such, that means that she is conditioned to respond to specific types of communications presented to her, has specific motives that drive her, and has certain behaviours or topics of conversation that she likes. If you can find those, you're very likely to succeed in creating a strong connection with her.

In order to find those, you need to carefully listen, observe, and study her reactions. This means that you need to collect this information about her. The only way to do it, is by being outwardly focused on her and paying attention to how she responses and what drives her.

And in order to do that, you must operate by the next "set in stone" rule for interacting with women:

Set in stone RULE for interacting with women - If you CAN'T pay attention on HER and how she responds - DON'T GAME HER!

This is a highly crucial "set in stone" rule for interacting with women.

Consider the following metaphor: a boxer entering the ring with his eyes folded so he can't see anything. He can't study his opponent, and he can't know when he hits or not. If he throws a few punches, yeah he might "hit" some once in a while, but he will most probably miss most .. and he won't know whether he's doing progress in the match or not ..

In analogy, when you approach a woman and your attention is not on her, you're going to miss interest signs she gives you, you're going to miss what's her favorite communicating style, you're going to miss the things that drive her or the things she responds most strongly to, you're going to miss the communication she presents to you that can allow you to "mirror" her and increase the rapport .... when you operate this way you're most likely to just "get lucky" with her, if she's realy interested in you and she's doing half the work for you!

Basic mindset for gaming women - There is no such thing "rejection", only feedback about what DOESN'T work on her!

As I stated above, it's possible to connect with every girl, and every girl is conditioned to respond positively to SOMETHING .. but no one guarantees you that you'll succeed in finding that "something" right on your first attempt of interacting with her!

If you didn't succeed on your first attempt though, it doesn't mean anything. All that it means is that what you tried, with this girl, at this time, just didn't work .. and you might try a different strategy next time and it might work.

Changing tactics, strategies and methods are a good thing to have at your disposal.

Because EVERY girl will respond to SOMETHING .. and the only way to find out what will work is to try something and pay attention to how she responds to it. If you get a positive response (she opens up, smiles, starts connecting with you, fucks you etc), then you know you're on the right track .. if not, then you know you're off the track and you may change the strategy and try again this time, or next time.

Another thing you can play with is your non-verbal communication.

So here's another important thing to know about human interactions..

Another basic understanding for human interactions - Non verbal communications play a role!

And when I say "non verbal", I mean more to as "the character" you enter into, and i'll explain.

You may have been used to communicate in a special and unique way all your life. That is "yourself".

As I said, every girl is conditioned to respond to a specific type of communication presented her, and that mostly means: "the character" that you enter into. If you are the quiet guy type, this may fail to work on some women who are more into the "happy party guy" type ... on the other hand if you're the "happy party guy" type, this may fail on some women who are more into the "masculine relaxed guy" type.

So your ability to play with these characters, or to be flexible enough in your communication, is what will open for you the possibility to connect with every girl. Once you've created the connection with the other person, you can slowly slide back to be "yourself" although you're mindful as to what she responds best to.

Again, the only way to find out is by trying many different angles and pay attention and notice to what she responds best!

"Open your mind, and your ass will follow .."

I hope this information have been helpful to you.

-- leedrag0n

Always remember this!

Whenever you're confused, in doubt, or in lack of motivation to go out and meet women, always remember this:

THERE ARE women out there who are HOT, FUN, COOL, FRIENDLY and who WANT TO MEET YOU and ENJOY WITH YOU. You just have to FIND THEM!

There are also women out there who are cold, turned off, unfriendly, not nice, unreal, frigid, frustrated, or even boring people that you DON'T want to meet!

In what percentages you will find each of those? No one knows.

But you should just always remember that the kind of women you're looking for DO EXIST.

Now go find & them!

-- leedrag0n

How to improve your tonality

Hey guys.

If you remember, a few posts ago I talked about "Attraction" that's built up of looks, vibe and behaviour, and I promised there that I will make a post about tips to improve your tonality, so here's the post as I promised!

In this post I'll give you tips and drills (vocal exercises) that will help you improve your tonality which, as a side bonuis, will improve the vibe you create in your communication (because Tonality is a major aspect of vibe!).

So let's start!

How I got to improve my own voice

I used to have a very weak voice normally. Maybe due to my work as a programmer (where I was barely speaking) or maybe due to just bad habits of operating my voice, but I had a voice that could barely be heard and was airy and breathy. At some point I realized that my voice could be impacting the way I am perceived by others (And these things do affect other people unconsciously. We could go all philosophical and say that a great "seducer" can get women even with bad looks, vibe, and behaviour. I could agree to it on some level, but the reality is that MOST people, and women, are VERY SHALLOW as far as the first impression goes, and I'm only talking about the FIRST IMPRESSION. A good first impression gets them hooked up, a bad first impression will get most to want to leave. this is reality!) so I decided to start working on it.

The first thing I noticed about my voice, was that everytime I went out to a club .. maybe due to the loud music and my need to make my voice sound louder inside those places .. when I came out of the club my voice would suddenly open-up and be realy loud, clean, and resonant! This would usually last for a couple of days, before it got back to the normal weak, breathy voice.

I posted a question about this in a medical forum that has to deal with voice problems, and one of the doctors there suggested me that the change in my voice happens due to changes in my habits of controlling my voice, that gets changed when I'm in a club environment to fit-in. When I leave the club, because I've unconsciously trained my voice for about an hour or so inside the club, I get out and it stays the same for a couple of days before it gets back to it's normal patterns.

This meant to me that I have to find ways to practice and train my voice so it'll be resonant, clean and loud even on a daily basis. Now i'll share with you the insights I have come with, and the vocal exercises I've managed to practice to maintain my voice as it is ..

Vocal drill #1 : Create Resistance

If your voice is weak, it may be because youre "voice muscles" are weak and not used. Same as it was with me. When I went to a club, because of the loud volume, I had to push my voice stronger to get it to be heard. As a return, this strengthened my loudness. You can achieve the same affect without going to a club, but by creating resistance to your voice - so you'll have to push it stronger to be heard. Makes sense, no?

You do it by taking a straw ("קשית") and putting it in your mouth, and then start "uuhhhh"ing vocal tones through it (like a musical octave up and down). The straw creates resistance because the voice has to be tunneled through a small tiny air space, and in return it presses the vocal cords so when you release it, your voice becomes stronger.

Here's a clip that illustrates it:

Extra tip: You can put your finger on the far side of the straw, to cover the open spot in order to add even more resistance to your voice.

Vocal drill #2: Make your vocal cords vibrate (Warm-up / "Lip Bubble")

Another aspect of creating your voice is whether or not the vocal cords actually vibrate when you create a sound. In order to get them to vibrate, you use a simple exercise called "Lip Bubble".

Here's a video that illustrates this:

Vocal drill #3: Open your throat up

Another aspect of a good, clean and resonant voice is whether your throat & neck muslces are relaxed and releived. A tensed throat or neck causes the voice box (aka "Larynx") to move away and the air will get cut off, which will make it more difficult to get a voice out and you'll have to invest more energy to it. You want the entire area of your throat & neck to be relaxed and that way the voice will come up easier, the voice box will stay in it's place and therefore the voice will come out nice, clean and resonant.

Here's a video to illustrate it:

Another great video with explanation:

Check out this guy's videos, his name is Roger Burnley and he has very good videos and explains the whole voice creation process in a very interesting way and has great exercises.

You can check his channel on youtube at this link.

Here's a nice video with his explanation of how the voice creation process works:

Final note:

That's it for this post!

Start practicing your tonality improving, and feel free to reply and share your experiences.

-- leedrag0n

Values, Values system & Self-Definition

Hey all.

I want to share here an inner insight that I have recently discovered about myself after some deep soul searching. It has to do about a discovery of how I was unconsciously used to define my own value as a person based on an attractive woman's responses towards me.

If you find that you relate to this subject, feel free to read on and share your thoughts at the end of this post.

I know that it sounds completely illogical. It was for me too.

I'm quite sure that every one of us have some areas in his life that are governed by illogical and irrational ways of thinking and perceiving things that may prevent him from being able to feel good or at ease around them, and as a result - toughens his ability to succeed and/or enjoy them. It's only when you become aware of these irrational thought patterns where they can be intervented, changed, and maybe fixed for good.

I guess that real world examples would help understanding better exactly what I'm talking about.

So let's start with a subject I like: sports, for instance. I like to play soccer.

I noticed that in the neighbourhood where we play soccer, there are some people who will take losses very very personally and seriously. So much, infact, that they won't even be able to stay there any more and they'll just have to go home to relax. Does it make sense??? I mean, we are there to play and enjoy and have fun playing football, and a person's entire mood can immediately change 180 degrees from complete joy to horrible disaster only because his team lost. It doesn't make sense. When I lose a game, I don't take it this personally. I mean, it's just a game. No big deal. But for those people, it's everything. It's not logical right?

Another example is how some folks can perceive wealthy people with lots of money.

I personally came from a family where my father and mother used to hang out with so called "high society" people. People with lots of money, industry leaders etc. I learned that these people are no different than me and you, and nobody of them is better than you or me only because he has money. Some of them are complete idiots who just seem to have a "good mouth" and know how to be diplomats and talk. Whenever you face them with a question that requires depth and a real brain, many of them get lost. I know it. So I can walk up and meet up with people who are millionaires or famous celebs and to just be myself as I am naturally and not even count their presence. I have a friend who couldn't do it, up until recently. He told me that whenever he was about to meet a realy wealthy person, he'd start to shake and get nervous. I thought about it and said .. but how could it be? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!! It was in his world though. Because in his own value system, a person with a lot of money is considered a god.

And that brings me back to my own example, and how I got this insight.

Recently, I have been working my ass on a big project. It's my own creation.

This project brings alot of joy and happiness to my life, I enjoy every minute of working on it, and even though it caused me to be in the field less - it made me feel proud as a person on something I create, and it made me feel great about myself as well. Then one day, I was walking out of my house to do my regular walk around the city, feeling great and delightful about myself. It all went so fine ... until one moment when I saw this attractive girl coming in front of me. She was talking on her cellphone. As she passed near me, I started looking at her.. hoping that she looks back at me... but she didn't. And at that moment, my entire mood changed 180 degrees. From complete joy, proud of myself, good about myself - to feeling horrible, disasterous, frustrated and what not!

This was a breakthrough moment for me, because .. perhaps for the first time in my life .. I became fully aware to just how powerfully women's responses affected me. And I didn't even approached her! I just looked at her, and she didn't reciprocated back... and that by itself hurted me in a very deep and emotional level... and just as I told you here, I realized at that moment - THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL !!!

How can I walk out my door ... feeling so great about myself, about what I've created, what I worked my ass on with complete joy of ... and BECAUSE OF A WOMAN'S LOOK ... a woman who just talked on her phone ... who I don't even know .... to come back home so devastated ???

This didn't make sense to me at all!!

And exactly because of that - I knew that I MUST find a way to answer this question.

So I started digging down the surface of my mind. I had to find the root for this cause.

No more NLP tricks of altering my emotions, No more reframes, No more affirmations .. I knew that this is something deep .. and I was determined to find it out....

Before I tell you how I found the big answer .. (and btw: all the answers to all the questions are already inside of you) .. let me tell you something funny about us, humans.

We all think that we are SO smart, right?

I believe that when we are kids, we make alot of illogical conclusions that are based on our irrational understanding of the world back then, that later these conclusions just sink down the surface and into our subconscious and become thought patterns that we live with. These thought patterns are what guides us through life, what creates our most powerful emotions, and you are almost never aware of them until one day you realize, just as I did, that something is completely wrong and illogical about your feelings and you must figure out what it is.

So I asked the question.

Thankfully, I have great buddies who I can share my thoughts with, and one by one they started providing me directions & clues as to what it could be, that eventually led me to the answer.

The first buddy who I talked with, is a friend of mine from the football. He is also the guy that I told you who used to be nervous around wealthy people. I talked with him about this subject, and this is how he shared with me his past fear of wealthy people. In the end of my conversation with him, we came to the conclusion that I attached very high value and importance to a woman only because she's attractive to me. So he asked me: "Why do you give so much value to an attractive girl?". Answering this question by itself was impossible... because I told him: it doesn't make any sense to attach so much value to a girl only because she's attractive!

This dropped the first coin to my head. And now here's the next one.

I had a conversation later with my mother. I thought that listening to a female's perspective may enlighten me. She was completely shocked by everything I was saying ... "You should NEVER feel less than a woman just because she's pretty!" ... and then she started telling me of this TV show that she watches called "Let's marry". Moms just love these shows. In every show they bring a guy and a girl that are supposed meet in the end of the show if everything goes well and they like each other. The show is hosted by a female host, a female astrologist and a female psychologist that navigate, analyze and suggest ideas to both the guy and the girl. There was one show where they brought a female girl who looks like a porn star but she was obvisouly not a real person. Her entire personality was an act. She would raise her nose, talk with an exaggerated way of speech, and brushed her hair. And both the host, the astrologist, the psychologist AND my mother (And i'm sure that lots of other females who watched the show) - they could all see how unauthentic she is. How she is just an act. But the guy COULDN'T SEE IT! And even though both the host, both the astrologist, and the psychologist - all told him that she's not for him, that she is a dominative person, that she's into sadistic stuff - he chose her! And this dropped a second coin in my mind ... could it be that what we observe externally is a deception???

The third coin came from a best friend of mine. He's a natural.

I shared my thoughts as well with him, and then he told me how it reminded me of something that happend to him. One day, he met this buddy of his who also brought a girl that he knows. She's a model. Between friends he tried chatting with her up, and she completely ignored him (Mind you: this is NOT a cold approach. She ignored him within a social circle setting!) and talked to his buddy, and asked the buddy question about my friend as if he's not there (Standoffish). Then, she told them both how she never goes out with a guy unless he spends 3000 shekels on her in an evening (Whore). And finally, he told me how one day he was working and he saw her walking down the street, so he pointed at her for his work colleague so he can see who is that girl, when she saw him she gave him the "fuck off" finger. After this story, I couldn't feel anything but disgust towards her. Then my friend asked me if i want to see her picture, so I said sure. He sent me her picture. And even though she is a model, and she will be very attractive to many men - AFTER I KNEW HOW HER SHITTY PERSONALITY REAL IS, I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE IN HER! SHE DISGUSTED ME FROM HEAD TO BONES!!!

This was interesting .... I knew her personality is shitty before I saw her, so then when I saw her I couldn't find anything attractive in her cause I knew she's disgusting as a person... but in the real world situations I only see their beauty first .... could I be up to something soon??

And then, the final coin that hit the nail came from a buddy who I haven't talked with for a while.

I shared my story with him as well, and he told me how he learned this technique that is taken from cognitive psychology, that he learned in his book by a doctor, about how to "dig into deep emotions". He started investigating me for a while, I cooperated. At some point we came to a conclusion that I feel inadequate for realy attractive women. So he asked me: "Why do you feel inadequate?", and he told me to sit down and realy think deep on this question. And any answer that comes up in the sort of "I feel X" - I should dig even further below until I find the answer.

Surprisingly enough, this has led me to a bottom root question: "Why do I give such importance to attractive women's reactions towards me?". And then, having remembered all the above, I came to a surprise answer. A very logical answer, that I couldn't think of because my thinking was illogical:

If I approach a beautiful woman and she responds rudely towards me ... well.. THAT is NOT a reaction of a person who is realy beautiful. One that has inner beauty as well. A beautiful person will NEVER respond rudely and harshly to you, no matter if you're attractive to him or not. I know that I, personally, even if a fat and disgusting chick approached me, I'd be nice towards her.

So these girls who respond rudely are NOT good people. You saw it with my natural friend's example.

They are NOT beautiful people from the inside. So now the question I had to ask myself was:

HOW CAN I GIVE SUCH UNHAPPY, UNREAL, AND UNPRETTY PEOPLE DECIDE WHO I AM AND WHAT I'M WORTH???????????

WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY TO DECIDE IT????????????

WHY SHOULD I BE ASHAME OF WHO I AM, BECAUSE OF SUCH PEOPLE ???????

ME, SUCH A REAL, AUTHENTIC GUY, SMART, ATTRACTIVE ... AND LET ALL THIS GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE OF SUCH LOSERS??????

THEM???????????? PFFFFFFF......

And yes, you can't imagine how angry I was that I've let all these attractive women, all these years, women who may have only had OUTER attractiveness but definitely didn't have any INNER attractiveness ... how could I have let THEM tell me who I am???????

I was realy pissed off when I found this out, and I still am up until this moment.

I don't think that ANYONE has ANY RIGHT to define who you are as a person. No matter how rich, famous, attractive or social he is.

FUCK THEM, WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?

-- leedrag0n

So .. What REALY creates ATTRACTION?

I promised you in the last post, so here goes.

We all know that one of the major factors in our ability to succeed with a woman is whether or not she's actually attracted to us.

What is attraction?

What creates this attraction?

I'll answer these in this post ..

What is attraction?

Attraction is a vague word that describes an overall state of fascination , a desire of a woman to meet you , an interest of knowing more about you , a feeling of joy in your presence , etc. All these things that makes a woman go "Wow this guy is realy attractive, I want to meet him!". It's what pulls the woman into you very strongly, almost irresistible to escape, almost like a magnet.

It also goes the other way around - when a woman is NOT attracted to you, she will feel repulsed, disgusted, she won't feel any desire to talk to you, and may even feel a desire to escape your presence.

What creates the attraction?

I'm sure you've all read of all the many openers, routines, patterns, "negs" etc. that are said to create attraction, but in fact they do not. The only they create are different emotional states that work on women to get them hooked up into the conversation: emotions like curiousity, challenge, disapproval ("negs"..), etc.

Now, these are not bad things at all - when women feel those emotional states they feel an urge to act on them, so they respond and they do hook up to the conversation for a while. This works for getting their attention to you (remember the "Pickup Stages" post?) so you can then try and move on from there.

But the attraction that I talk about is something else, and in many cases the women will not even want to listen to you if you're not attractive to them. More times than not, this has to do with initial first impression level, which is a very important factor for the rest of the interaction. Things that women notice on you minutes before you even approach them.

So what do I talk about?

I'm talking about this basic formula:

ATTRACTION = LOOKS + VIBE + BEHAVIOUR

Now, let me briefly dive in and explain each of these, and why they are such a strong determinent on the overall level of "attraction" a woman feels towards you:

Element #1 of attraction = Looks

Let's put the theories aside, we all know that this is true as a matter of fact a strong determinent and first impression that will make a woman decide "Oh, this guy is attractive" or not. I'm not saying that you have to be a model or have a 6-packs ab to be attractive. this is huge misconception because looks are not as important as vibe and behaviour (and i'll get into it shortly) , but suffice to say you have to look at least decent, hygienic, clean and overall not repulsive. When you look lazy, and messed up, or repulsive you negatively impact the first impression people get when they first look at you. And in case you haven't yet realized: THE FIRST IMPRESSION THAT PEOPLE GET OF YOU, WILL DETERMINE HUGELY ON THE REST OF THEIR INTERACTION WITH YOU!!!!!!

This is because that on an unconscious level, people will look at you and make immediate first impression conclusions about you , and this will setup a "filter" through which they will look at you for the rest of the interaction. The people who do not realize how important that is, are also the people who never get results but they still live in an illusion called "Pickup Artist". Get out of that illusion and get back to reality! :-)

So we concluded that looks plays a role in generating the attraction, what exactly in looks?

A. Hygiene - Shave, have a decent haircut, and smell ok.

B. Clothes - Put on decent clothes, not geek style, but rather normal, fashionable stuff, that makes you look

as a decent human being.

Element #2 of attraction = Vibe

Vibe and Behaviour (the next section) are the two most dominant aspects of your attractiveness, and in fact while your looks may be limited to some degree on how much you can improve them, you CAN improve your vibe and behaviour all the time to show up much more attractive to women.

Vibe is the more dominant of the two, I suppose.

Now what is exactly Vibe? Vibe is the overall feeling that women get in the communication with you.

This is something that is perceived at an unconscious level by people. Just as an example - Imagine the difference between a guy who walks over slouched, with his hands closed, with a sad look on his face, mumble words and tries talking to you, compared to a guy who walks in with a straight posture, arms wide, smiles to you and talks clearly with you? Even you, as a guy, could feel a huge difference between how you feel and perceive these two guys differently. With women, this plays an even stronger role, since women are very strongly led by how they feel, so the vibe you create plays a very very important role here!

What elements play a role in Vibe exactly?

I'll lay out the elements here, and how I believe they are perceived not only by women but others in general.

Feel free to tell me whether I'm right or wrong:

A. Posture - Very important, how you hold yourself. Do you hold yourself straight (confident) or slouched (fearful/shy)?

B. Speed of movements - Do you move your body fast (nervous), or slow (relaxed)?

C. Pace of speech - Do you talk fast (nervous/pressured), or slow (relaxed, at ease)?

D. Facial expressions - Do you smile too much (feminine, seeking approval), or you have a sealed expression (masculine, don't care about approval)? And do you know how to balance those two?

E. Tonality - Very important! Do you have a strong and clean voice (confident, secured) or a weak, unheard voice (shy/fearful)?

F. Eye contact - Very important! Do you break eye contact while talking (insecured, shy) or do you maintain eye contact (confident, attractive)?

G. Body movements - Do you move your hands and your overall body too much (wierd, hard to follow) or do you maintain a fixed position while talking (understood, pleasant to follow)?

As you can see, I've only made a list of few of the most important aspects of vibe here. How much do you think these things can affect your attractiveness? How much do you think they can be improved?

Now let me talk here about a huge misconception that is being taught to guys, and fucks them up big time.

The misconception i'm talking about is the one that says: "fix your internal state, and all of these outer elements will be fixed as well". This is just not true, it's only HALF TRUE, And i'll explain:

Yes, it is going to be true if your state is very strong, so strong in fact to the point that it takes over your entire physiology. We know that state affects physiology since the mind and body are interconnected. But for the most part: A. We are not in very high states in our normal day to day lives. and B. Most of the "inner game" stuff is about releasing yourself so you can allow your "true self" to come out more naturally. But what exactly is this "true self"? Is it a "self" that is attractive to women? Are your normal habitual ways of communicating, that an inner peace lets out easily, are attractive?

You can't know if you don't see it for yourself!

When we are in a neutral and relaxed state, what comes out in our communication are our habitual ways of communicating with people. And those are all the things that are written above.

How can you fix those? The answer: by rehearsing!

USE A CAMERA AND A RECORDER, AND REHEARSE, REHEARSE & REHEARSE!

That's right!

Anything you rehearse you eventually become a habit that you do automatically without thought.

Consider the following metaphor - Imagine you're going into a battle zone, and someone hands you a gun. Won't you want to first check it to see that it actually works? To see that it has ammo? To see that it has the ability to work? Well, in a sense - so many guys are just going out to the field without checking how they look, what they project, and how they communicate with others! These guys will then tell you things like "I've tried so many things, and NOTHING WORKED! This entire community sucks! None of the techniques work!" , well DUH .. on the other side of the scale, you've probably met guys that didn't use any techniques, any routines, and girls just seemed to be flowing all over them. You will then call these guys "naturals" or "they have natural charm", etc ... THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT, AND ALL BASED ON FALSE MISCONCEPTIONS!

It all comes down to your habitual ways of communicating. And you can definitely improve those!

Realy ponder this for a while..

Element #3 of attraction = Behaviour

Well, so far we talked about Looks & Vibe. Vibe is a huge aspect of attractiveness, perhaps the most dominant one, and when you'll fix it, you'll begin to notice women everywhere looking at you, giving IOIs, even to the point where women will start approaching you! (this may sound unreal, but i'm not kidding at all! and you've surely heard of guys like that ...).

These are all things that are perceived at an unconscious, non verbal level, even before you open your mouth and start talking to them. This is the first impression stuff. It's realy powerful.

The last element of attractiveness, is behaviour. Behaviour can definitely affect the attraction level others have towards us. Think about some woman who is trying to push your forcefully into a relationship that you are not interested in, or who keeps accusing you of stuff all the time. How will you feel towards her? Not so great, right?

This is exactly where the way we bahave affects the way others perceive and feel towards us.

Behaviour is something that is being reflected by our actions and most importantly - our attitude.

Attractive behaviour comes from an attitude of independence, acceptance, and releasing expectations from others. Unattractive (or repulsive) behaviour is one of dependency (neediness), trying to push your opinion on others, and looking to get guarantees from others. Attractive behaviour makes people more attracted to you, Unattractive behaviour pushes people away from you.

What elements play a role in Behaviour?

A. Dependent (Unattractive) -vs- Independent (Attractive)

B. Inflicting yourself on others (Unattractive) -vs- Giving others their freedom (Attractive)

C. Seeking Approval (Unattractive) -vs- Don't need approval from others (Attractive)

D. Criticising others (Unattractive) -vs- Accepting others as they are (Attractive)

E. Unauthentic, or not real, liar (Unattractive) -vs- Authentic, or real, true (Attractive)

Those are the big 5 elements of behaviour that can affect how attractive you are.

How to fix these?

Well, now we go back to what all the "Inner game" stuff talks about - your internal state of mind.

Behaviour is mostly affected by how you feel inside, your internal state. This is what mostly affect the way you behave with people. This is what will determine whether you'll be dependent & pushy, or accepting and at ease, whether you'll be authentic, or unauthentic, whether you'll seek approval or walk through the world loyal to yourself.

FIXING YOUR STATE OF MIND - WILL FIX YOUR BEHAVIOUR TO WOMEN!

This has alot to do with your beliefs & attitudes, your world views and how you perceive women. I'm not going to discuss this any further in here.

Conslusion:

So, we conclude this post by saying that Attraction = Looks + Vibe + Behaviour.

Vibe is about your habitual ways of communicating with others, and Behaviour is about how you feel inside yourself about the idea of interacting and meeting women, and how you feel towards yourself.

In the next post, I'll bring some good tips on how to improve your tonality, which is a very important aspect of the Vibe. Feel free to leave your comments on this post!

Until next time, peace..

-- leedrag0n

Are you "excusing" yourself?

What's up guys?

Starting this month, I'm going to start to break misleading myths there are about women.

And in this post, we're going to once and for ever break the huge misconception of what it is to "excuse" yourself when you approach a woman, vs being polite.

So.. are you *realy* excusing yourself when you approach a woman?

One of the biggest themes of arguments among guys in the community is whether or not you are "excusing yourself" when you approach a woman. The problem is, that almost like 99.9% of the materials in the community, this subject has neven been thoroughly discussed in details using real world evidence or by realy serious guys who have studied communications and/or had enough experience to be able to pinpoint down as to exactly what it is to be "excusing" yourself when approaching and what is not.

What this leads to?

Guys approaching women in a complete inpolite way, breaking into their personal space without any second thought, acting like complete assholes and then wondering why they never score. Well, at least they believe in the illusion that they "not excusing" themselves and thus are "more attractive", where in fact they are just being inpolite assholes.

So .. let's talk about FACTS first!

OK guys, basic first fact about communication is that the words what you say impact only 7% of the message received by the other person. The rest 93% of your message comes from your body language, your eye contact, your tonality, facial expression and the way you hold and move yourself. Don't argue with me on this guys, because this has been proven by people who have studied this subject way more than either of us did.

What does this imply then?

Well, it implies that your words mean nothing. It's how you say them that makes the whole difference.

But it's not even how you say them - It's the intention that stands behind them, that is conveyed through your behaviour. This is what truely makes the difference between "excusing yourself" and not.

How so ?

Well like I said, people can understand your intention from your non-verbal communications - the way you behave, the way you move, the way you hold yourself up and talk.

Now listen to this, because this is CRUCIAL and if you'll get this, SO MUCH will clear up for you:

If you are approaching a woman and you are standing near her, waiting for the perfect moment to talk, hesitating about your approach - This is called "excusing" yourself. You are waiting for an excuse to start talking to her. People get this message unconsciously much more powerfully even before you open your mouth. This is the conveyed message: You see the woman, she saw that you saw her, and you are hesitating. It DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY AFTERWARDS, you already conveyed the message. She already received it. You didn't even get to say one word. THIS IS HOW COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PEOPLE REALY HAPPEND IN THE REAL WORLD!

Your communication with another person starts before you even open your mouth !!

EXAMPLES OF "EXCUSING" YOURSELF AND BEING POLITE:

Case A: Guy see's a girl, she saw that he saw her, guy approaches girl directly and starts the conversation in a polite way. "Hi, Forgive me for interrupt you guys, but I just had to say I saw you and I thought you're realy cute and I had to come and say Hi." and waits for girl to reciprocate and then continues.

Case B: Guy see's a girl, she saw that he saw her, guy waits and continues to talk with his friends to act "disinterested" so she doesn't get "bitchy". After a couple minutes he walks over to her area, but is still not looking at her, and he is placing himself near her so he can start a "casual" conversation so he doesn't come off as "excusing" himself. (But he already did by his behaviour and intention!) Guy then starts casual convo with girl.

What's the difference between the two cases?

In Case A - The guy was definitely not excusing himself by his behaviour and attitude, and the girl (and everyone else) can get this message very powerfully through the non-verbal communications. He was polite, though, accepting the fact that she may be busy and acknowleding into her comfort space. The perfect approach!

Case B - The guy was excusing himself through his behaviour and attitude, and the girl (and everyone else) gets this message very powerfully as well. Because the girl knows the guy saw her and is interested, but he creating an "excuse" to start talking with her, rather than going for it. The guy's approach was ok verbally, but it still doesn't matter.

Conclusion:

There is nothing wrong about being polite with women. A woman will not think "Oh this guy is not attractive" because you are being polite as you start talking to her. Attraction has nothing to do about your words anyway (More on this in the next post..) and in many times its already there before you even open your mouth.

Being polite and learning how to be polite with people and express yourself with manners and empathy with others can, however, allow you to approach and meet women in situations that up until now you thought were impossible for you.

Realy grasp this.

-- leedrag0n

Un-learn everything you've learned!

OK,

So this is my first blog post for the new year 2011.

It's 3:12AM in the morning as I'm writing this post, and well.. since I haven't written here for like a month or so it would be best if i can get you up to speed with what I've been doing recently..

Part 1: Going for women that I most desire

Recently I started approaching and going only for women that I most desire - that are realy attractive to me, that I don't find so often, and that I don't run into them so frequently.

When you start gaming women that you most desire, you have to forget about all the PU "rules". They don't work in this league. And further even, they will produce alot more damage than benefit to you.

How come?

Because alot of the PU rules are about "nexting" girls that don't go along with the flow. Alot of them are about teasing and being playful with girls (which may not work on some girls..), or about things like GFTOW (Go-Fuck-Ten-Other-Women) and setting up the lead, or setting the tone and if the girl doesn't follow then you should "next" her and move to the next girl..

These rules don't work when you game women that you realy want. Why?

Because let's assume you approached a girl who is realy attractive to you, and she's showing interest back. You want to get a result here. And when you see that being an asshole who tries to take the lead (that doesn't work well on some women..) or that you try to be a tease (that doesn't work on some women..) or that you try to go and "close the deal" as soon as possible (that doesn't work on some women..) you get into a conclusion that it takes more flexibility here, and that's a whole new level of gaming. You want to get to this level, because you're approaching women you most desire in order to get results. Duh!

Part 2 - No more rules

One example of such a flexibility, is the whole notion of "trying to close the deal as soon as possible".

Most of the "PU" methods are based on building a structure that will lead you from approach-to-lay and if the girl doesn't fit in, you "next" her.

Some girls just don't feel ready yet to close the deal, and if you don't want to just "next" them (which I certainly don't) then you need to be more flexible and sometimes you have to give up on the idea of trying to close them as soon as possible. give them more time.

Some girls need to open up and feel comfortable with you before they move any further.

Do not forget - when you're into cold-approaching game, even though some girls will find you attractive, they still don't know you well enough, and this may play an issue for some of them, and trying to push them to a quick close will just freak them out and draw them away from you and You don't want this to happend, especially if it's a girl you realy want.

When you are gaming a realy attractive women of your choice, you want a result.

You want to be safer and neutral, and that's perfectly fine. I believe that if a girl is realy attracted to you (and attraction is way different than what they teach in the community, and I may enhance about it in another post..) then you asking her if it's ok to take her phone number will not, in anyway, reduce her attraction to you. That's probably one of the stupidest ideas I ever heard of!

So forget about these stupid rules of "Tell her what to do, don't ask for permission" type of crap out there, because that is realy bullshit and has nothing to do with attraction. It's even perfectly fine to let her take the lead at some point too. Actually, in any natural interaction between two people, the lead always replaces sides.

Part 3 - Be completely focused on the other person

You're in this game to get results with women you desire.

When you realy want to get a result, you're going to play it safer and make less mistakes. This is obvious.

How can you know what to do?

Well the answer is important here: You have to realy show genuine interest in the other person.

And this is not only for the sake of getting liked, but it's also, and more important - to get an understanding of the other person (girl) world. Find out what he likes, what motivates him, what drives him. This does not only creates a connection between people, but it also gives you the real information you need to know about how to create a connection with her, trust, and maybe later to even have sex with her!

And you cant EVER do it if you're in the "asshole" mode of not listening and always commanding.

I'll say that again: You can't know anything about the other person if you're into "asshole" mode.

People love to answer questions, this creates connection, and this provides you with information that let's you know what should be done next.

Part 4 - Flexibility

You need flexibility with women that you most desire because you want them. Duh.

It's like when you're aiming at getting accepted into a realy high class company - You want it, they may like you, but they could have demands too. If you want to get accepted, you may have to lower your ego and get ready to give up on a few points too, no?

Same goes with women.

When you're gaming the women you realy want, all the rules collapse, and you'll do better if you just play it safer, ask the other person questions, show genuine interest, work on creating a connection, and forgetting about the need to close it right now.

-- leedrag0n