Outcome oriented -VS- Outcome targeted

Hey all!

I hope you'll like this post, as these are thoughts that have been running in my head lately and I realized I have to write them down in order to organize them.

So: Outcome orientation -vs- Outcome targeted.


What's your outcome ?

First of all, I think that knowing what is your desired outcome from every interaction with a woman is an incredibly important determinent for your entire game. I have written an old post on this subject when I first opened my blog.

Let's talk sales for a bit.

FACT is, that most sales people you'll ever meet on a regular daily basis are pretty shitty sales people. They have no real influence skills at all - but you could see in their eyes that they have an outcome in their mind and they direct all their will to get that outcome with you.

Another FACT is that most guys that get results with women don't have any kind of "superior" game or "alpha male" type game or even natural game. These are all MYTHS. The reality is, that these guys are probably just more outcome directed than you are, they know what they want and they go and try and get it with their currently available resources.

Ask any woman out there what is she looking for in a guy, and MOST of them will probably say something like: A guy who knows what he wants. Think about that.

And now, recall some hot girl you approached recently.
Now imagine how different your entire interaction with her could have been have you had set an outcome with her. ANY outcome. Do you notice how profoundly different it is?




Are you Outcome Oriented, or Outcome Targeted ?

Now after you realized how important setting an outcome is, let's discuss a little bit the difference between outcome "orientation" to being outcome "targeted" and try to answer the question that I've presented here.

Most guys have been taught through either massive social programming coming from almost any media: TV, movies, music .. or by some wierd and amateur gaming "gurus" out there that I won't mention their names here, that you they are the ones who needs to invest and put efforts if they want to get into a woman's heart and pants.

In this game, I don't think that women should get rewards or "free gifts" without giving anything back in return. In fact, any good negotiator or persuader is never going to give away something without getting something back in return. This just makes sense. However, the media is bombarding us with ideas that contradict this.

You set the frame with the woman you interact with right at the beginning of the interaction. If you're going to present a "giver" frame - I.e, you are the only one who supplies the entertainment, you're the only one that invests, she's the one that screens you and you have to live up to her expectations - she will get used to live by that frame, and this will profoundly affect the rest of your interaction with her. She invested nothing in the interaction - so she has no problem to just walk off at any given moment without giving you nothing back in return. It won't feel like a loss for her - after all, she didn't put any efforts! You've set a frame where you're the one trying to please her, not vice versa .. so why should she please you when you get in bed with her? It's incongruent with the frame you presented!

So setting up the right frame, among with knowing what your outcome, is realy crucial here!
But now there's a paradox: How can one set a strong willed outcome with a woman, without turning into a beggar or a free giver?

I'd like to give the following metaphor as my way to answer that question: Think about going to find a house to rent. When you go out trying to find a house to live in, say in rent - YES You are going to put some efforts, no doubt on that. You'll have to make a list of houses, and then you'll have to call them and set appointments and go and meet their house owners. When you do get there, you are going to first take a look at the house and see if it even makes you feel like a house you'd want to live in. If that fails, you have nothing more to do there, just move on. If it does, you will then try and talk a little bit with the house owner and see if he's a person you'd want to sign a contract with. Now, there could be situations where you will like the house, but not the house owner, and even if that does happend - you will most likely disagree to live up to some wierd and unacceptable expectations from the house owner. What if he tells you that you must deposit $50,000 before hand if you want the house, or sign a 30 pages contract that is completely against you? You'll most likely say NO THANKS and move on. There are enough houses to see! However, if both the house and the owner seems to be what you're looking for, then and only then will you start and try to get the house owner interested in taking you as his renter, and when you both sit and start to talk about the contract - there may be some places where you will disagree with some of the house owner's demands and try to change them. That is negotiation. Maybe if you have some influence skills, you will be able to influence the house owner to even give you a DISCOUNT by convincing him that his house is not as expensive as he thinks, and end up taking an amazing duplex house while paying a price that is lower than what the rest of the market pay leaving your house owner happy and satisfied from the choice he made thinking he did the right choice. That is persuasion.

I think this is a good metaphor about setting up a strong will and outcome - while remaining true to your values, your standards, YOUR expectations, and even getting some side "bonuses" for yourself.

This is what I define as being "outcome targeted".

As an analogy, when you think about some girl you realy want - same as in going to find a house: Yes when you see an attractive house you will probably have your outcome automatically set to "live in this house", but you won't do EVERYTHING just to live there. if the demands are unacceptable to you, you'll just say NO!

And another fine analogy is: whenever you go to see a house, your parents will always advice you to not show too much interest right off the start. Why do you think this advice is so solid whenever you go to buy a house? It's OK to show some interest, but if you show too much interest - the house owner will pick that up and as a result he will demand more money from you and/or put more high demands from you for this house. If you show some interest, but don't get overly excited, then the house owner, who is willing to sell the house, and will probably have no problem compensating for a lower price, won't try to raise the price because he thinks you are an "easy customer" who will do anything to get his house!

Think about that!

Outcome targeted means being a negotiator, or a persuader. And I think that is a crucially important mindset to have with women, because with all the respect .. georgeous and beautiful as that woman might be ... if she doesn't have the right personality - you can't do anything with that beauty!

So in order to set up the frame the right way:

Show some interest - but not too much so they don't get too excited about themselves, and immediately do anything you can to setup the frame that you're screening them for compatibility before you even get to the negotiation stage.

-- leedrag0n