Rapport, Friendship, Pacing & Leading

Hey guys!

So .. as I promised, here's the long awaited fourth video clip, discussing the interesting topic of rapport & chemistry, friendship, pacing & leading - and why it is one of the most important skills there are for success with women, and people in general.

Because of the length of the clip (17 minutes) it will be divided into two parts. The first (top) video box is the second part, and the second (bottom) video box is the first part, so you should start by watching the bottom video box first!

This is also combined with an OpenOffice Impress presentation, I realy put some efforts in producing this so I hope you will enjoy it. And again, feel free to leave me your comments !

-- leedrag0n

State Design - Anchors (Part 1)

Hey guys!

As I promised.. here is the third video clip that I recorded and decided to load to the blog.

I've had a hard time deciding what subject should I choose to record a video on .. and after some debates with myself.. I chose to record the first clip (out of several that will follow) on state design and control .. a niche that is highly crucial for your success with women, because its directly related to the vibe you project, the way you behave, and the access you have to resources that may be important for your success!

Once again I remind you, feel free to pass this around!
And .. feel free to leave your comments and feedback.



-- leedrag0n

Again! Why rehearsals are SO important?

Hey guys !

This is a follow-up post to the last video clip I loaded in this blog of me explaining the importance of rehearsals to your pickup success, and it is realy .. such an important issue .. that I realized if I hadn't wrote a follow-up to better explain it .. some folks may never get just how important it is .. so here I'm again ! :-)

Listen .. I know that sometimes rehearsing in your house can feel realy boring and useless .. and since rehearsing doesn't involve real women, but imagined ones .. it may sometimes feel like a waste of time .. But YOU HAVE TO DO IT !

Rehearsing is the only way to realy train your mind in new ways of responding, that will be there for you in the real life situation !

And you want to do it in your house, because when you are in your house, you are usually in a neutral and relaxed state .. that allows you to see things more clearly, think on your feet .. feel more relaxed, and your overall mind is less distracted and more open to give the right meanings and interpretations ..

On the other hand .. when you're in the field .. especially in a situation where you're about to meet a realy attractive woman .. you will not be in a neutral state. That's for sure. You are most likely to go into an altered state of consciousness .. that sometimes has a hypnotic effect on your awareness .. so much that you can't even think AT ALL .. not to mention remembering what you even wanted to practice and focus on in the first place !

So if you want to have better ways of acting, responding and meanings available to you when this happends - You must REHEARSE them in your house!

Its just more clever to practice something in a neutral state where you can actually think on your feet .. and have it there available for you when you get hypnotized and can't think , rather than trying to think about what you should do when you're hypnotized and your mind is blocked ... that just makes sense, no ? :-)

But there's actually more to it - in real life interactions (unlike MSN or FACEBOOK or any of that stuff) you usually don't have alot of time to prepare your responses, or to think clearly on the spot about the right meaning and interpretation for the situation .. or do you have time to "get yourself into the right state" .. you have to respond fast !

And whenever you need to respond quickly, you'll always use whats familiar. Why ?

Because you have habitual ways of responding, that have been ingrained through your past experiences .. and in any given moment .. where you have to act, respond, think OR make a decision very quickly .. you are more than likely to act, respond, feel, think and intellecually interpret the situation based on how you've used to be doing up until now!

Sometimes.. it's not even about responding based on what's familiar but responding based on what feels most comfortable TO YOU! Think about the following metaphor - when you go out fishing ... do you put a Pizza Slice or a Hamburger as your bait .. just because YOU like it? OF COURSE NOT! You put worms ... because that's what the fish likes !

So what I'm trying to say here is that, you sometimes have to act, respond, and interpret situations in ways that may feel a bit discomforting to adjust to .. but that will produce results for you in the long run.

Makes sense, no ?

So .. maybe there are better ways of responding ?
Maybe there are better ways to interpret and think about a situation ?
Maybe there are better meanings you can attach to the situation ?
Maybe .. just maybe .. you can even feel better in the situation ?

Just a quick example of what I mean: You approached 2 girls, and they started laughing at you. You completely ignored the fact that they stayed 2 minutes and talked to you, and instead you colored the whole thing as "shit-testing" or "attempt to take over my frame".

Here's a better way to interpret this: You could have created an anchor for their laughter, so you could have a trigger for it each time you want. They stayed 2 minutes that means that they enjoyed the interaction. Nobody stays in a place he doesn't enjoy in. And .. they were just wanting to participate in the conversation .. because your interaction with them was actually one of the more fun things that happend to them that evening.

See what I mean ?

But the thing is this - If you want to be able to see this opportunity next time, and be able to interpret it the same, and feel different, you must rehearse it !

Remember, the mind always responds based to what is most familiar !
So make the new ways of responding, acting, and thinking your new nature.

-- leedrag0n

Remembering past successes

Hey guys,

I can't tell you how glad I was from the good responses received to the videos I posted in the last 2 posts, you guys gave me alot of motivation to create more exciting videos, and more are coming on the way! (The next video will talk about rapport)

In the mean while, as I'm working on the next video, I want to talk in today's post about an inner game issue that I don't think is addressed enough to guys, and it is one that can make the big difference between moving up the learning curve and continuing to go out in the field, and between completely stopping everything and feel doomed and stuck.


Why remember your past successes with women ?

Sometimes .. you go out trying to meet women .. and you just get nowhere with any of them!
It can feel somewhat discouraging at first .. but later it may translate to you beginning to self-doubt your ability to attract or even meet women ..

The reason why this happends is because your mind has an unconscious process called generalization, which is used throughout your life to help you learn new things quickly and be able to adjust to the environment quickly.

This process can also work in a different direction when you begin to experience successes !
You go out .. trying to meet women .. and then you succeed with all of them! .. or maybe you end the night with a hot-looking chick back in your place. This, then, translates to you feeling like you are a super attractive dude .. and that women everywhere are drawn to you!

This should already give you a big hint on where I'm heading with this .. ;)

Didn't guess yet ?

OK, I'll help you.. guess what?
Confidence is built upon successes !

YEP - In any area of life, when you first start ... you are likely to have very little confidence in your abilities .. that is because you haven't yet learned, from experience, that you will be successful.

But .. once you have that first success .. even if its a small one .. like taking a phone number from some hottie .. if you can reflect back to it often .. it will give you the confidence and motivation to keep going forward and moving up the learning curve !

Remember: the mind is stupid !
It will do anything you train it to do.

So when you are at those times where you just get nowhere with the ladies .. and you begin to self doubt yourself .. no matter what anyone tells you .. just stop .. take 10 deep breaths to relax and calm yourself .. and then just close your eyes .. and remember your past successes !

Do it for anywhere between 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

Remember your past successes from your own eyes .. live them again ... feel them again ... remember: your mind can't tell the difference between real and and memory ... get back to those successful situations .. and if you'll do it .. you won't believe how drastically your state, your feeling, your entire confidence, and your entire perception of yourself and whats possible for you completely shifts up !

Once you've finished .. tell yourself in a confident tonality: "I've been successful before, therefore I can do it again!".

So, how do you feel about the idea of going out and meeting women now?

Would love to hear your feedback ..

-- leedrag0n

P.S: If you realy want to, you can do what I do when I perform this ritual. On every past success I remember, when the feeling reaches to its highest peak, I create an anchor by pressing by thumb and my index finger. Then I break pattern, and remember the next success. When the feeling gets stronger this time, I anchor it again to strengthen the anchor. This is realy useful when I'm out in the field as I have a trigger to fire off the confidence feeling instantly when I need to :) Man, being an NLP Practitioner truely helps in this field I gotta tell you ..

P.P.S: Here's another realy good article I found on the net on remembering past successes, taken from the sales area, which was basically the inspiration for this post (enjoy!) :

http://leadingexample.com/blog/remember-your-past-successes/

Importance of rehearsing

Hey guys,

This is the second video i'm loading here, which i have recorded just the next day from the last one.

In this video i'll discuss the importance of rehearsing, especially in your house, before you go out to meet women.

One of the biggest and fatal mistakes so many guys are doing is that they only base their improvement and practice on the field itself. THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE. First of all, because it forces you to approach ugly women you don't realy want. And second of all because most of the skills you just can't apply them in the field itself because its a too chaotic place to practice in. Just like professional basketall or football players don't use the game itself to practice.

So give this a watch, and would love to hear your comments and feedback on this one ..



-- leedrag0n