Knowing the "right" thing to do..

Sometimes you meet a new woman, and she is very attractive to you so that you want her.

You begin to interact and she's with you - she shows interest back in you by asking you questions and showing understanding of YOUR world, she invests in the conversation and talks back as well, and she is receptive and smiling and flirtatious with you all the way.. and then you make some kind of a move.. maybe you suggest something and she doesn't reply back to you.. and that makes you begin to worry about whether what you did was right or wrong.. Are you familiar with this?

This is unquestionably an unpleasant feeling: feelings of doubt in yourself, worrying about the outcome, etc. It's never something pleasant!

What can you do to get rid of it?

Learn about the power of EVALUATING things on YOURSELF !

Ask yourself this:

How would YOU react & think, if a GIRL that you are "slightly" interested in, did THAT thing on you?

This will greately help you evaluate your actions and know if they are right or wrong. And If you already did something "wrong", at least you've NOW learned a new tool that will help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Remember, there's never failure - you ALWAYS learn something. And even a "failure" contains a lesson in it, that will help you get even better results in the future, so you at least EARNED something new, that you didn't have before - and that will surely assist you in the future.

-- leedrag0n

Socializing and Approaching II

This is a refresher for an old post of mine back from 2008.

I'd like to begin this post by shredding a few "myths" about pickup & influence first.

Alot of people focus too much on perfecting their game, and I think it's an absord! Why?

Because if you'll just open your eyes and LOOK around you at the guys who are getting results with women, you won't find anything "superior" or special in MOST of them that you don't have - they may be uglier than you, more insecured than you, less focused than you, more BORING than you, etc. And yet - THEY still GET results, while you don't!

I think this principle applies not only to women but life in general - the most successful people in their area, are NOT ALWAYS the best in their area!

In the end.. it all comes down to how well you promote yourself.

Think about it for a second.
It is highly probable that there are ALOT of women out there, right now, who REALY WANT to meet someone - even if they have a "boyfriend" already! (Who said that she is pleased with him?)

Now.. as you sit there at home trying to "perfect" your "skills", nobody even knows you exist!
And the only thing these girls actually know of.. are the guys who approach them and introduce themselves to them!!

You may think it's NOT FAIR that all these lousy guys are the only thing women know of and fuck with.. you may also think that it's not fair that alot of realy talented and gifted people in this world never get a chance.. but that's just the way LIFE is - the people who push themselves into other people's realities and are NOT AFRAID to show what they've got and are actually trying to get others interested in them = are the ones who GETS results. The others.. never get their chance for obvious reasons!

Now, let's get off the "fair/unfair" ethical discussion and talk about facts for a second.

It is a FACT that you can take a SHITTY product, promote it very well to ENOUGH people, and you WILL get buyers! In fact, the most succeeding products are also the ones that are being promoted the most!

In every area of life this is true, whether you are aware of it or not, it is simply a rule of thumb whenever it comes to sales and promoting something: The more people are exposed and become aware of a certain product or idea = the more people take it or buy it!

It just makes sense, doesn't it?
But in order to clarify my point, I'll bring you now.. what I think is the perfect example of what I mean: Windows -vs- Linux

So.. I'm a programmer and I've been using Windows for years. I heard about Linux before and even saw it many many years ago at an old friend of mine, but back at the time it seemed so difficult and hard to learn and too complicated for me.. so I prefered to stay with Windows.

Now, Windows is probably the most popular operating system in the world, and for me personally it has always been quite a default option. I had no idea that Linux exists in a graphical user-interface form (Windows' style desktop), that it is easy to install, and that it is easy to use as well. Take note of this, this is crucial - I had NO IDEA it existed!!!!!!!!

The idea of Linux wasn't even in my AWARENESS at all.. until one day.. I visited a friend of mine, and I saw his brother, who is a programmer as well, using this flashy, fast, and very well organized desktop operating system on his computer that did not look familiar to me.. At a first glance I thought it was Macintosh with MacOSX (Guess why? Maybe because Apple's MacOSX is the second most well promoted operating system in the industry after Windows??) .. so being realy curious I asked my friend's brother what is that .. and he said: It's LINUX!

At first I was quite in a shock.. because it looked way different from how i imagined Linux to be.. but then it realy got me interested and intrigued, and it got my attention so strongly that I have began asking him questions about it, and the more he revealed me his answers the more the idea of installing this system on my home computer became real.. but it was only after he told me the following two sentences that I was totally convinced that I should try it: 1. You can download the operating system for FREE , 2. You can TRY IT before you install it, directly from the CD!

Can you imagine to yourself.. such a superb operating system for FREE ??

So anyways.. I decided to download the CD and try it for myself.. and after that first time I tried it - I simply fell in love with it! (Literally) And I felt like such a moron for never knowing that it existed, and using crappy Windows instead ..

.........

Now that may have been a nice story, but it has a POINT.

I think that this was probably the perfect example to show that It's not always the BEST who brings the fruit - but the ONE who PROMOTES HIMSELF the most!!!!

Now.. think about the implications of this story on your sex life..

I mean.. you could be HUNDRED TIMES better than alot of your "competitors" out there in almost EVERY aspect! And.. it could be that you are the ideal guy for MANY women.. and yet.. THESE WOMEN DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST!

Think about it..

And BTW This is true for ANYTHING you want to sell or promote - you can have the most amazing, unbelievable piece of innovation the world has ever seen .. but if it keeps sitting at home and no one knows about it - you will NEVER = NEVER EVER GET ANY BUYERS!!!!!!!!

NEVER!

Now.. after all of the ideas that I just presented to you here, and since this post is coming to an end soon.. i'll use this opportunity to explain to you the "mechanics" of how to use everything you learned in this post to your advantage:

First, realize that when you approach a new girl - she knows NOTHING about you, NOTHING about your qualities, NOTHING about how much you could benefit her life - NOTHING AT ALL! You don't even exist in her world and all she knows of is just your physical appearance, your looks, the vibe you project, and the way you talk. THAT'S IT!

Even if she rejects you right off the bat, it still doesnt change the fact that she STILL knows NOTHING about you!! She has no ideas, yet, in her mind about you.. NOTHING!! Her reality just stayed the same as it was before you even talked to her..

Now, your job is to introduce yourself, and introduce the idea of being with you. Before you do it, both you and the idea of being with you DO NOT EXIST IN HER AWARENESS, and it is only after you present the idea to her and get her become AWARE to the fact that you exist and how much she could benefit from you, that it can become something she'd like to fulfill and try for herself.

Before you establish that, she knows NOTHING at all about you!
And yes, that also means that if you are just "fluff talking" with her she STILL knows NOTHING about you!

Think about everything I wrote here..

-- leedrag0n

OIR and Success Consciousness

Most of the PU material out there focuses around techniques and mindsets that will make you more successful or more attractive with women.

This is all good and fine and all these techniques and mindsets will work for you if you do them right, however some people may find that even though they know alot of techniques, alot of mindsets, and maybe they even have great game already, they still don't get results!

How could this be ?

Well, here's how I believe it happends, and you can feel free to leave me your comments about it below and let me know if you agree with this.. and BTW: Guys who are new to all PU concepts usualy don't have this problem, and you will soon understand why. This is an ADVANCED concept post.

So you see.. in order to master these tools, techniques and mindsets you have to sometimes suspend your expectation for results in order for you to try new stuff out. Thing is when you get used to NOT getting results with women for long periods of time, your unconscious mind slowly gets used to this condition, and you get so used to not getting results that you don't even expect them to happend, and therefore your behaviour, the actions you take, the decisions you make, and the things you can look for and notice, all become CONGRUENT with this condition of not having results.

What do I mean ?

I mean that when you get used to not getting results, it will be out of your map to look for attraction signs from her, for example. Your choice of behaviour and actions will be ones that will make it fail for you, because this is what must be done in order to stay congruent with this condition of "unsuccessness", so much that even if the girl will show you that she's attracted to you and she's even READY TO GO FOR IT RIGHT NOW, you won't see it or even think about taking action on it, because you already got used to something else!

And if you stay in this condition for too long, it will make you literally PARALISED on your ability to notice success and act on it!

Is this making sense?

I think that it is THIS "UNSUCCESS" CONDITION that is what TRUELY fucks up guys in the community, and I've heard it many times before that guys who decided to "quit" the scene and "forget everything" they learned - suddenly began getting results!

Is this coincidence, or is there something that people are missing in here ?

No, it just makes sense if you think about how the mind operates - beliefs and world views tend to affect behaviour, actions, decisions, thinking ways and what you can observe and notice unconsciously. I mean, if you got used to not getting results .. how can you notice that some girls actually WANT you??

If this is making sense to you, I guess that the question to be asked now is - So, how can we change this condition? Do we have to "forget everything" and let go completely?

I don't think so, and I'll explain - Many people have difficulties with controlling their thoughts and focus because they are not trained in meditation or never have been. Those kind of people are the obsessive thinkers, and because they CAN'T control their thinking - THEY MUST forget about all the "material" they learned and they actually MUST go and completely change their habits and the things they do on a regular basis so they could distract their mind from this obsessive thinking. This is what actually "works" for them to help them get over the "failing thinking" or "analytical thinking" that the community has forced them to start apply, and this is the only thing that realy "works" to get their mind blank and ready to ingrain new and more useful thinking ways.

However, if you are trained in meditation and focus that means that you can control your thoughts deliberately, and therefore you don't have "obsessive thinking" of any sort and you can always just re-train your mind to think in new ways.

So what you realy have to do in order to get over this condition is two things:

1. Start training your mind in visualizing success! Yep, it's that simple!

2. Change old "failure" scenarios into "success" scenarios - Just remember an old approach that didn't go anywhere, and literally rewrite it with different things you do so that it will become a success.

Now when I'm saying visualize a success - I mean visualize a scenario of you approaching the girl and she's receptive and responsive and with her you get it all the way into the bedroom and have sex. You can even refer to my last post of "how to visualize" in order to do it properly.

Do this, and you won't believe the stuff you get in return from life.

-- leedrag0n

A word about Flexibility ..

Every human being is a different person, that enjoys different things, flows with different things, and responds to different things.

Alot of advices that are given about success with women, are usually in one or another of the forms of "If you do this, she'll responds that..", or "If you use this structure, then..", etc.

This is the kind of thinking that we, as men, are champions at - serial thinking. Given any goal or outcome, we will be able to create steps to achieve it - and if you'll follow all the steps exactly in the order they are written, you'll get that goal ..

It is our blessing on one side, but also our curse on the other - because this kind of thinking is NOT USEFUL for success with women!

Why?

Because women are random - every woman is a different person that responds differently to different things. Some women will respond very good to displays of honesty and vulnerability and "sharing your thoughts" with them, while other women will not give a damn shit about it, but will instead responds VERY GOOD to displays of dominance and aggression and not giving a fuck.. other women will not respond to dominance and aggression good at all, because they feel that they want to share their thoughts with someone, and will respond very good to you just shutting your mouth and listening to them.. Some women are smart-asses and like to tease and flirt, and they will respond very strongly to being a tease and flirtatious with them .. and so on .. you get it?

This is exactly the reason why you have to develope a sense of flexibility in your game, if you REALY want to increase your game and success rates.

Now, when I'm talking about flexibility, listen: I am NOT talking about giving up your will just to please and satisfy a woman. That is NOT flexibility, that is being a pussy - and it is a big turn off for almost every woman out there!

What I'm talking about is stay strong with your will to get a result with her, but at the same time having a versatile set of choices for behaviours, vibes, and themes that you can switch between them, while at the same time staying completely focused on her so you could notice how she responds to each, paying attention to what will trigger the strongest responses in her!

This is a realy crucial, even core level understanding - because in the end what really matters in your communication with her is the responses that you get from her - is she turned on? is she turned off? does she feel connected? does she feel fascinated? aroused? etc..

Because her responses are the indicators for you to know whether you're going on track or off track, and if she's giving you strong and powerful responses that means that you're on the right track, and that probably she's ready!

Remember, there is no failure - only feedback, and you are constantly getting feedback all the time about what works and what doesn't work.

Is this making sense?

-- leedrag0n

Outcome oriented -VS- Outcome targeted

Hey all!

I hope you'll like this post, as these are thoughts that have been running in my head lately and I realized I have to write them down in order to organize them.

So: Outcome orientation -vs- Outcome targeted.


What's your outcome ?

First of all, I think that knowing what is your desired outcome from every interaction with a woman is an incredibly important determinent for your entire game. I have written an old post on this subject when I first opened my blog.

Let's talk sales for a bit.

FACT is, that most sales people you'll ever meet on a regular daily basis are pretty shitty sales people. They have no real influence skills at all - but you could see in their eyes that they have an outcome in their mind and they direct all their will to get that outcome with you.

Another FACT is that most guys that get results with women don't have any kind of "superior" game or "alpha male" type game or even natural game. These are all MYTHS. The reality is, that these guys are probably just more outcome directed than you are, they know what they want and they go and try and get it with their currently available resources.

Ask any woman out there what is she looking for in a guy, and MOST of them will probably say something like: A guy who knows what he wants. Think about that.

And now, recall some hot girl you approached recently.
Now imagine how different your entire interaction with her could have been have you had set an outcome with her. ANY outcome. Do you notice how profoundly different it is?




Are you Outcome Oriented, or Outcome Targeted ?

Now after you realized how important setting an outcome is, let's discuss a little bit the difference between outcome "orientation" to being outcome "targeted" and try to answer the question that I've presented here.

Most guys have been taught through either massive social programming coming from almost any media: TV, movies, music .. or by some wierd and amateur gaming "gurus" out there that I won't mention their names here, that you they are the ones who needs to invest and put efforts if they want to get into a woman's heart and pants.

In this game, I don't think that women should get rewards or "free gifts" without giving anything back in return. In fact, any good negotiator or persuader is never going to give away something without getting something back in return. This just makes sense. However, the media is bombarding us with ideas that contradict this.

You set the frame with the woman you interact with right at the beginning of the interaction. If you're going to present a "giver" frame - I.e, you are the only one who supplies the entertainment, you're the only one that invests, she's the one that screens you and you have to live up to her expectations - she will get used to live by that frame, and this will profoundly affect the rest of your interaction with her. She invested nothing in the interaction - so she has no problem to just walk off at any given moment without giving you nothing back in return. It won't feel like a loss for her - after all, she didn't put any efforts! You've set a frame where you're the one trying to please her, not vice versa .. so why should she please you when you get in bed with her? It's incongruent with the frame you presented!

So setting up the right frame, among with knowing what your outcome, is realy crucial here!
But now there's a paradox: How can one set a strong willed outcome with a woman, without turning into a beggar or a free giver?

I'd like to give the following metaphor as my way to answer that question: Think about going to find a house to rent. When you go out trying to find a house to live in, say in rent - YES You are going to put some efforts, no doubt on that. You'll have to make a list of houses, and then you'll have to call them and set appointments and go and meet their house owners. When you do get there, you are going to first take a look at the house and see if it even makes you feel like a house you'd want to live in. If that fails, you have nothing more to do there, just move on. If it does, you will then try and talk a little bit with the house owner and see if he's a person you'd want to sign a contract with. Now, there could be situations where you will like the house, but not the house owner, and even if that does happend - you will most likely disagree to live up to some wierd and unacceptable expectations from the house owner. What if he tells you that you must deposit $50,000 before hand if you want the house, or sign a 30 pages contract that is completely against you? You'll most likely say NO THANKS and move on. There are enough houses to see! However, if both the house and the owner seems to be what you're looking for, then and only then will you start and try to get the house owner interested in taking you as his renter, and when you both sit and start to talk about the contract - there may be some places where you will disagree with some of the house owner's demands and try to change them. That is negotiation. Maybe if you have some influence skills, you will be able to influence the house owner to even give you a DISCOUNT by convincing him that his house is not as expensive as he thinks, and end up taking an amazing duplex house while paying a price that is lower than what the rest of the market pay leaving your house owner happy and satisfied from the choice he made thinking he did the right choice. That is persuasion.

I think this is a good metaphor about setting up a strong will and outcome - while remaining true to your values, your standards, YOUR expectations, and even getting some side "bonuses" for yourself.

This is what I define as being "outcome targeted".

As an analogy, when you think about some girl you realy want - same as in going to find a house: Yes when you see an attractive house you will probably have your outcome automatically set to "live in this house", but you won't do EVERYTHING just to live there. if the demands are unacceptable to you, you'll just say NO!

And another fine analogy is: whenever you go to see a house, your parents will always advice you to not show too much interest right off the start. Why do you think this advice is so solid whenever you go to buy a house? It's OK to show some interest, but if you show too much interest - the house owner will pick that up and as a result he will demand more money from you and/or put more high demands from you for this house. If you show some interest, but don't get overly excited, then the house owner, who is willing to sell the house, and will probably have no problem compensating for a lower price, won't try to raise the price because he thinks you are an "easy customer" who will do anything to get his house!

Think about that!

Outcome targeted means being a negotiator, or a persuader. And I think that is a crucially important mindset to have with women, because with all the respect .. georgeous and beautiful as that woman might be ... if she doesn't have the right personality - you can't do anything with that beauty!

So in order to set up the frame the right way:

Show some interest - but not too much so they don't get too excited about themselves, and immediately do anything you can to setup the frame that you're screening them for compatibility before you even get to the negotiation stage.

-- leedrag0n

How to Visualize

Hey guys!

In today's post I'm glad and happy to share with you my wisdom and experience with Visualization - the one, probably the only, and definitely the most powerful programming skill there is.

I've heard of, over the years, many people who have failed to utilize this amazing tool for themselves, whether it was because of lack of knowledge on how to do it properly and the setups required, or whether it was simply because of lack of belief that it can actually work for them.

If you are regulars on my blog you have the luck and honor to be the only people who will get the following tips and knowledge, which are based on my 5 years experience using visualization for my own self developement. I don't like to brag, but when I compare my own self developement to other people, then I know for sure that it is because of my visualization skills that I am where I'm at.

There are too many articles on the internet on visualizing that I'm gonna bet my balls that their authors have 0% experience using them, and they just copied some ideas they heard from someone else.

I'm going to tell you here what realy works to make your visualizations powerful and real as much as possible, based on my experience, so give this a go.
This is probably going to be the most important post you'll ever read by someone.


Does Visualization realy work ?

YES.
Everybody uses visualization in some areas of their lives, whether they are aware of it or not.

Many people unconsciously create vividly imagined scenarios in their mind whenever they come to block themselves from doing something that scares them. They begin to imagine how it'll look, how it'll sound, and how it'll feel, and they do it so vividly that the imagined scenario feels just as real as if it already happend. Those people will then come to me and tell me "I can't visualize" which makes me literally laugh my ass off.

Visualization works simply because the mind cannot tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined one. So if you can vividly imagine or remember a very pleasant experience, you will literally live that experience as if it was as real as a real experience, and you'll feel all the emotional states associated with it as if they were happening for real. YES, this is powerful! This means that you can feel successful and confident even today!

Pay close attention, though, to my languaging. I said "a vividly imagined experience", which means a full experience, with colors, details and sound.

If you haven't been able, up until now, to use visualization deliberately and intentionally to design the future you want for yourself, then the next part of this post may solve that problem for you once and for all.



KEYS TO POWERFUL & SUCCESSFUL VISUALIZATIONS:

1. Your state of mind - When you come to do the visualization is of super importance. You should do your visualizations when your mind is quiet and relaxed, your body is relaxed and released, and you are surrounded with silence. Anything that is relaxed, quiet, and clean. I recommend you get practiced at daily meditation to quiet and relax your mind, and then do the visualizations after your meditation.

2. Remove distractions - Close TV, close music, and close your room door as well if needed.

3. Allow as much time as needed to perform the visualization - Alot of people try to do the visualizations too quick. Whether its because of lack of patience, or lack of understanding just how delicate and gentle the mental work they are about to do realy is, or simply laziness and trying to imagine just the "end result", instead of the entire story that led to it, and then they wonder why it's not working for them. This is usually done because of time constraints. So, If you have a time constraint or you're just too anxious to finish your visualization asap, DO NOT VISUALIZE AT ALL! Go do something else, because you're obviously not taking it seriously, when you should. If you realy want your visualizations to work, Give as much time as needed. You are doing very sensitive and yet VERY POWERFUL work on your mind and subconscious here man, so give it as much time as it needs. Relax ,take as long as you need to remember everything you can as lively and as vividly as possible. When you take the time to visualize you can enter the visualized "world" much more deeply and strongly than you could in just a 3 minutes attempt. a 30 minutes "one experience" visualization is much more powerful than 5 times a "3 minute" scenario. This is KEY.

4. Visualize from an ASSOCIATED point of view - I'm not going to explain whats the difference between associated and dissociated here. Search Google for an explanation on this. This is another very important KEY. Associated imagery brings back all the emotions, resources, beliefs and attitudes, Dissociated does not.




How will I know if my Visualization worked?

You will FEEL it, dummy. And very powerfully too!
A successful visualization ends up with you feeling as if what you just imaged has actually happend for real, and this is a sign that you did it right.

You will immediately feel the effects of the visualization on your perception of reality, on the way you feel, your confidence, your attitude, your actions and behaviour. Everything will be immediately affected by it.

A successul Visualization will also affect your world in levels I don't realy want to get into in this post, because they are far beyond my understanding as well, but you may begin to experience wierd events in your life that are somehow "related" (or: "resonating") with your visualization, the right people will show up at the right times, you will be intuitively "redirected" to the right books .. you may suddenly have life-breaking realizations you never thought about before .. some realy crazy shit I'm telling you !!

This is based on my real experience with it, and based on many other's experiences as well.

Just follow the tips I layed in this post, and you will soon realize just how powerful visualization realy is.

And as a final note to close this post:
Use this knowledge at your own risk, it is very powerful.

-- leedrag0n



P.S: If I got you curious about the "realm of experience" that could not be understood and want to know more about this, as well as hear explanations by quantum physicists, you might want to check the movies "The Secret" and "What The Bleep Do We Know - Down The Rabbit Hole", I'm warning: These movies will blow your mind away, don't say I didn't warn you! :-)

Anchors (real experience!)

Hey guys !

In today's post I'm going to talk once again about anchors, and more specific about self created anchors - like the ones I explained in details in my State Design - Anchors Part 1 post from May.

What I want to share today is a real experience that I've had that will demonstrate just how powerful anchors are.

I think its good because in any area of life when you learn something new , or have an idea about something .. its almost always the actual exprience of that something that realy "drops the coin" in your mind about its effectiveness and makes you want to use it more.

So anyways .. a little background first:

Everytime before I go out to sarge I usually "prepare" myself with some ritual - To install the state I want to be in when I go out, bring back old memories of past successes, rehearse the things I want to work on, etc.

During the rituals I usually create anchors of the states that I go into, for instance: If I go into some sort of relaxed state (just as I explained in my State Design post) I'll anchor that state to a pressing of my left hand's thumb and index finger , or if I remember past successes and I get into a good state of confidence - I'll anchor that state to pressing my right hand's thumb and index finger, if I laugh (laughter) I'll anchor that to other fingers, etc ..

What happends is that I end my rituals and I go out to sarge (with the state I designed, of course) but I also end it with a stack of anchors on both my hands that I barely use (because I get myself into such a good state that I don't need it).

Anyways .. I took a few days off sarging - that means I have NOT done any ritual for the last 2 or 3 days .. and today I went to do an evening "sports" walk for about an hour.

During my walk a couple (guy and girl) came infront of me, and the girl was good looking and she looked at me, and as she did the guy did to. Now for some reason it brought up a realy unpleasant state .. that I later realized that returned everytime I saw a hot girl passing near me .. this unpleasant state was .. I don't know exactly how to describe it .. tension, fear .. whatever ..

And then I remembered that I had all these stack of anchors that I created on my hand.

Now.. a very useful technique that we learned in NLP is a technique called collapsing anchors, which essentialy is about associating a positive anchor with a currently installed negative one - that causes the negative one to "collapse" -or- to become associated with the good one.

So what I began to do is I began to pay attention to whenever the unpleasant state was coming, and as it was just beginning to arise - I immediately fired off one of my "positive anchors" that I've had in my right hand.

And guess what? After doing that for like 2 or 3 times I just tested it - I passed near a hottie, looked at her, and was paying attention to my state.. and I was relaxed and the old feeling has gone!

So far so good .. but I didn't stop there. At some part of my walk I happend to notice a plastic ball just laying on the street .. and if you guys know me personally you'd know that I just love football .. and whenever I get an opportunity to play football I get into a realy fun state. So I took that ball and started to play with it .. and as I realized I'm beginning to feel all fun and excited ... guess what I did? I ANCHORED IT to a new fingers combination on my left hand!!

So now I had created, on the fly, a new anchor. So now I had both the positive one from before on my right hand, and the new one now on my left hand.

I kept using both anchors whenever I even sensed just a little slight change in my state .. and to keep long story short - I reached a point that I went across a bus station filled with hotties .. and I was just so relaxed, so outwardly focused, so at ease .. that I could actually observe everything about them and talk to them freely without feeling a thing.

Now this completely blew my mind up - I was able to completely change and redesign my state, on the fly, without any ritual and without doing any mental work at all - it was all 100% pure anchors work!

The last 15 minutes of my walk I was just relaxed, focused, and at ease and I didn't have to do anything more - the new state has been completely replaced now .. and before I was about to return to my home ... I was thinking about what I just did here ... and it was an amazing realization to me - because I didn't do any ritual today, I just walked out the house "as is" ... the only thing I had with me ... was my anchors ..

Just think about the endless possibilities that can open up to you when you use this ..

-- leedrag0n

Interesting topics coming up soon!

Hey guys !

I'm working on a few realy interesting topics for discussion and presentation, and they will be up and ready when I finish working them .. as I also am less sitting near the computer as of lately.

In the meanwhile, here's something cool to kinda break the ice and the atmosphere.

Enjoy ;)



-- leedrag0n

Back from russia!

Hey guys!

I know I haven't written in the blog for a couple of weeks.
That's because I was in a trip to russia with my father for 2-weeks.

I'm going to get more stuff soon on the blog as I'm working on a couple of more videos on pretty interesting topics too, some of which I tried even in Russia!

Stay tuned, will keep you informed.

If anyone want to know things about Russia, feel free to ask here.

-- leedrag0n

Rapport, Friendship, Pacing & Leading

Hey guys!

So .. as I promised, here's the long awaited fourth video clip, discussing the interesting topic of rapport & chemistry, friendship, pacing & leading - and why it is one of the most important skills there are for success with women, and people in general.

Because of the length of the clip (17 minutes) it will be divided into two parts. The first (top) video box is the second part, and the second (bottom) video box is the first part, so you should start by watching the bottom video box first!

This is also combined with an OpenOffice Impress presentation, I realy put some efforts in producing this so I hope you will enjoy it. And again, feel free to leave me your comments !

-- leedrag0n

State Design - Anchors (Part 1)

Hey guys!

As I promised.. here is the third video clip that I recorded and decided to load to the blog.

I've had a hard time deciding what subject should I choose to record a video on .. and after some debates with myself.. I chose to record the first clip (out of several that will follow) on state design and control .. a niche that is highly crucial for your success with women, because its directly related to the vibe you project, the way you behave, and the access you have to resources that may be important for your success!

Once again I remind you, feel free to pass this around!
And .. feel free to leave your comments and feedback.



-- leedrag0n

Again! Why rehearsals are SO important?

Hey guys !

This is a follow-up post to the last video clip I loaded in this blog of me explaining the importance of rehearsals to your pickup success, and it is realy .. such an important issue .. that I realized if I hadn't wrote a follow-up to better explain it .. some folks may never get just how important it is .. so here I'm again ! :-)

Listen .. I know that sometimes rehearsing in your house can feel realy boring and useless .. and since rehearsing doesn't involve real women, but imagined ones .. it may sometimes feel like a waste of time .. But YOU HAVE TO DO IT !

Rehearsing is the only way to realy train your mind in new ways of responding, that will be there for you in the real life situation !

And you want to do it in your house, because when you are in your house, you are usually in a neutral and relaxed state .. that allows you to see things more clearly, think on your feet .. feel more relaxed, and your overall mind is less distracted and more open to give the right meanings and interpretations ..

On the other hand .. when you're in the field .. especially in a situation where you're about to meet a realy attractive woman .. you will not be in a neutral state. That's for sure. You are most likely to go into an altered state of consciousness .. that sometimes has a hypnotic effect on your awareness .. so much that you can't even think AT ALL .. not to mention remembering what you even wanted to practice and focus on in the first place !

So if you want to have better ways of acting, responding and meanings available to you when this happends - You must REHEARSE them in your house!

Its just more clever to practice something in a neutral state where you can actually think on your feet .. and have it there available for you when you get hypnotized and can't think , rather than trying to think about what you should do when you're hypnotized and your mind is blocked ... that just makes sense, no ? :-)

But there's actually more to it - in real life interactions (unlike MSN or FACEBOOK or any of that stuff) you usually don't have alot of time to prepare your responses, or to think clearly on the spot about the right meaning and interpretation for the situation .. or do you have time to "get yourself into the right state" .. you have to respond fast !

And whenever you need to respond quickly, you'll always use whats familiar. Why ?

Because you have habitual ways of responding, that have been ingrained through your past experiences .. and in any given moment .. where you have to act, respond, think OR make a decision very quickly .. you are more than likely to act, respond, feel, think and intellecually interpret the situation based on how you've used to be doing up until now!

Sometimes.. it's not even about responding based on what's familiar but responding based on what feels most comfortable TO YOU! Think about the following metaphor - when you go out fishing ... do you put a Pizza Slice or a Hamburger as your bait .. just because YOU like it? OF COURSE NOT! You put worms ... because that's what the fish likes !

So what I'm trying to say here is that, you sometimes have to act, respond, and interpret situations in ways that may feel a bit discomforting to adjust to .. but that will produce results for you in the long run.

Makes sense, no ?

So .. maybe there are better ways of responding ?
Maybe there are better ways to interpret and think about a situation ?
Maybe there are better meanings you can attach to the situation ?
Maybe .. just maybe .. you can even feel better in the situation ?

Just a quick example of what I mean: You approached 2 girls, and they started laughing at you. You completely ignored the fact that they stayed 2 minutes and talked to you, and instead you colored the whole thing as "shit-testing" or "attempt to take over my frame".

Here's a better way to interpret this: You could have created an anchor for their laughter, so you could have a trigger for it each time you want. They stayed 2 minutes that means that they enjoyed the interaction. Nobody stays in a place he doesn't enjoy in. And .. they were just wanting to participate in the conversation .. because your interaction with them was actually one of the more fun things that happend to them that evening.

See what I mean ?

But the thing is this - If you want to be able to see this opportunity next time, and be able to interpret it the same, and feel different, you must rehearse it !

Remember, the mind always responds based to what is most familiar !
So make the new ways of responding, acting, and thinking your new nature.

-- leedrag0n

Remembering past successes

Hey guys,

I can't tell you how glad I was from the good responses received to the videos I posted in the last 2 posts, you guys gave me alot of motivation to create more exciting videos, and more are coming on the way! (The next video will talk about rapport)

In the mean while, as I'm working on the next video, I want to talk in today's post about an inner game issue that I don't think is addressed enough to guys, and it is one that can make the big difference between moving up the learning curve and continuing to go out in the field, and between completely stopping everything and feel doomed and stuck.


Why remember your past successes with women ?

Sometimes .. you go out trying to meet women .. and you just get nowhere with any of them!
It can feel somewhat discouraging at first .. but later it may translate to you beginning to self-doubt your ability to attract or even meet women ..

The reason why this happends is because your mind has an unconscious process called generalization, which is used throughout your life to help you learn new things quickly and be able to adjust to the environment quickly.

This process can also work in a different direction when you begin to experience successes !
You go out .. trying to meet women .. and then you succeed with all of them! .. or maybe you end the night with a hot-looking chick back in your place. This, then, translates to you feeling like you are a super attractive dude .. and that women everywhere are drawn to you!

This should already give you a big hint on where I'm heading with this .. ;)

Didn't guess yet ?

OK, I'll help you.. guess what?
Confidence is built upon successes !

YEP - In any area of life, when you first start ... you are likely to have very little confidence in your abilities .. that is because you haven't yet learned, from experience, that you will be successful.

But .. once you have that first success .. even if its a small one .. like taking a phone number from some hottie .. if you can reflect back to it often .. it will give you the confidence and motivation to keep going forward and moving up the learning curve !

Remember: the mind is stupid !
It will do anything you train it to do.

So when you are at those times where you just get nowhere with the ladies .. and you begin to self doubt yourself .. no matter what anyone tells you .. just stop .. take 10 deep breaths to relax and calm yourself .. and then just close your eyes .. and remember your past successes !

Do it for anywhere between 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

Remember your past successes from your own eyes .. live them again ... feel them again ... remember: your mind can't tell the difference between real and and memory ... get back to those successful situations .. and if you'll do it .. you won't believe how drastically your state, your feeling, your entire confidence, and your entire perception of yourself and whats possible for you completely shifts up !

Once you've finished .. tell yourself in a confident tonality: "I've been successful before, therefore I can do it again!".

So, how do you feel about the idea of going out and meeting women now?

Would love to hear your feedback ..

-- leedrag0n

P.S: If you realy want to, you can do what I do when I perform this ritual. On every past success I remember, when the feeling reaches to its highest peak, I create an anchor by pressing by thumb and my index finger. Then I break pattern, and remember the next success. When the feeling gets stronger this time, I anchor it again to strengthen the anchor. This is realy useful when I'm out in the field as I have a trigger to fire off the confidence feeling instantly when I need to :) Man, being an NLP Practitioner truely helps in this field I gotta tell you ..

P.P.S: Here's another realy good article I found on the net on remembering past successes, taken from the sales area, which was basically the inspiration for this post (enjoy!) :

http://leadingexample.com/blog/remember-your-past-successes/

Importance of rehearsing

Hey guys,

This is the second video i'm loading here, which i have recorded just the next day from the last one.

In this video i'll discuss the importance of rehearsing, especially in your house, before you go out to meet women.

One of the biggest and fatal mistakes so many guys are doing is that they only base their improvement and practice on the field itself. THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE. First of all, because it forces you to approach ugly women you don't realy want. And second of all because most of the skills you just can't apply them in the field itself because its a too chaotic place to practice in. Just like professional basketall or football players don't use the game itself to practice.

So give this a watch, and would love to hear your comments and feedback on this one ..



-- leedrag0n

Can other people affect you negatively?

Hey guys,

This is the first video that I'm uploading to my blog so feel free to leave me your comments and feedback at the end of this video.

I have decided to record it after a conversation I had with a female friend of mine, who I've noticed that is thinking in a very limiting and self-destructive way, and how I've noticed that answering her questions directly would mean I'll have to accept her own limiting and self-destructive thinking patterns, and how .. sometimes ... the people who you love the most just have destructive thinking patterns and beliefs.. that if you'll accept them they will fuck up your progress !

So .. I'll hope you'll enjoy the video, and feel free to leave me your comments ..



-- leedrag0n

Avoid desperation !

This post goes out to all you guys out there !


You know .. we all have those times where we just wish we had a girl with us. Sometimes we go out of our house, and we see a hot chick hanging with a guy ... and she looks so good , so hot .. and the guy looks so happy with her ... sometimes we can talk to our friends and they tell us how happy they are with their girlfriends ... sometimes it seems like everyone around us have hot girls in their lives and we do not ... and those are the times where we feel like we want to get a hot girl into our life too !

However, you should know that Desperation is probably the worst place to go and meet women from. If you've ever heard the phrase "All the girls I want - Don't want me" , or "People want what runs from them", then I hope this post will explain it better.

You see, Desperation is terrible for the following reasons :

1. You're putting pressure on yourself - "I gotta get a girl", "I gotta make this work". This will eventually affect you both physiologically, both energetically, and both mentally. People can't think straight when they are under pressure, pressure is realy exhausting and you are more than likely to make mistakes in such a state.

2. Your state is always reflected by your physiology - In other words, how you feel is what you project, or "The mind and body are interconnected to each other and affect each other". I personally don't believe in the "fake it till you make it" theory. Your body has more than 600 muscles in it, some of which are completely out of your conscious control. Any state you feel gets reflected by your physiology. I realy can't believe anyone can control 600 muscles simultaneously at will .... at some level your fake will always be projeted ... and you realy don't want to be in this place with women .. because ...

3. Women are *very* sensitive to your vibe - This is not a bad thing at all. Its simply part of how women are wired. Women take care of babies and know how to read their vibes to know if its time to feed them or get them to sleep, and they can do the same with you. When you come from a place of desperation and pressure where your system is full of inner noise, you're simply going to project a vibe that is realy turning women off !!! (Unless you're incredibly handsome that they don't care)


Now .. those are realy only the starting symptoms for a much bigger problem that may come afterwards: You will go out to the world with alot of pressure and expectations from yourself of "I've gotta find a girl" so you will get exhausted realy quick and your mind won't be quiet. It will be difficult for you to behave in a natural way because you're so desperate to get a result, that you will either think twice before any move you do, or wait for the "perfect" moment or "the perfect answer" , that guess what? never exists .. the vibe you'll present will be an unattractive one because its not clean and filled with alot of inner noise that it will turn and scare women off you, so you will have a difficult time getting results and soon you will start feeling that the whole process of meeting women becomes realy hard ... and this becomes a cycle that will go on and on ... until at some point you'll simply feel stuck and doomed and will stop everything and give up !


Is this realy the place you want to end at ?

Im sure not, but you see .. the problem is that the attitude of being desperate to meet women is infectious among men ... sometimes it seems like men teach each other how to be desperate !

Here's a nice story to illustrate what I mean: One day I was in the mall and I happend to meet a girl who happend to be exactly my type looks wise. An 8-9 on the scale of 1-10 easily. I took her number, and called her after 2 days and we had a great conversation going and I asked her if she wanted to meet .. in the beginning she said they had plans with her sister ... and she'll let me know if it changes. End of the story she told me she's not meeting her sister, but I then couldn't meet her because I finished working realy late ... so we decided to meet another day.

I told this story to a friend of mine, and guess what was the first thing he said?

"Why didn't you meet her????? You gotta strike while the iron is hot !!!!"

Now .. this is not the first time I hear such comments from people I know. Most of the people I ever met in the seduction community have this kind of thinking in their minds. I remember that I had my MSN filled with people from the seduction community. Every single time I told them I went out to sarge, the first question they almost instinctively always asked me was: "Did you get any results?". The questions you ask reflect the way you think.

Now, as you read the above .. tell me that this is not coming from a place of "I've gotta make this work" ... "I've gotta get something out of this" etc. ?

Again, desperation is a bad place to come from and especially meet women from.
The best place to come from is a place of not giving a fuck about whether or not you get something out of this !

But I mean realy not caring ... not trying to "fake it" that you don't care about the results .. while in the back of your mind you're still thinking ".. If i'll act as if I dont care about the result, I'll get a result" .. because that is still focusing on wanting to get a result !

Some of you may think "But this is counter productive! If you want a result, you've got to try and get a result, no ?". YES, but why do so with much pressure on yourself ?????

Look, let me give you an illustration to explain my point: Think about a computer game you like. I personally realy like Minesweeper, here's a screenshot:



The purpose of this game is simple: You have empty cells that contain mines in them in random spots, and every time you click an empty cell it either opens up like in the image: every number shows the number of mines around that cell, or you open a mine and game over.

Now, this game is fun ! I can play it for hours. When I first started playing this game, I've had a hard time finishing even a simple 10x10 cells game :) But i've kept playing and kept practicing ... and today I'm at a level where I can finish the above screen in less than 2 minutes !

But thats the thing - when you play something, or do something without a pressure, from a place of fun - there's absolutely no way you can't succeed ! Most guys think about meeting a woman as some dangerous and important task they must finish successfully, because their entire ego is standing on the line ... And I'm telling you that this is a realy fucked up mindframe!
Why not turn meeting women into a game as well?

Think about the 3 points I gave you in the beginning of this post .. and think about all the benefits you could have if you change your orientation this way. Think just just how much more brain powers, energy and especially freely available mind thoughts and resources you can get at your disposal to meet women with when you come from this place !

YOUR GAME WILL EVEN BECOME BETTER AND SMOOTHER !

On the other hand ... imagine to yourself a wierd scenario : Some kidnappers take both of a kid's parents to hostage, and in order for the kid to get them back they give him a single opportunity to get them back : They give him to play Minesweeper. and he has never played this game before .. and now they tell him : You have 5 minutes to finish the advanced level. If you succeed, you get your parents back ... and if not, you will not see them again forever !

Do you realy think the kid will be able to even learn how to play the game with so much pressure being put on the line ?

Thats almost the same level of pressure guys put over themselves when it comes to women !!!

For some guys, meeting a hottie is considered a "one time opportunity" ... I think I've heard the phrase "Its now or never" more than I can even count LOL ....


So whats the solution ?

Change your orientation !

What if instead of seeing a woman as a "once in a lifetime opportunity" , "I've gotta make this work" , "I must get something out of this" ... you could think about it as an opportunity to have fun and find out what she's like ? (credits Ross Jeffries again!)


Here are some more nice realizations to help you:

1. She is not the only girl in the world that looks like that.

2. You don't even know what kind of a person she is ..

3. You never signed a contract that says that you must get something from her. I realy mean it. Your friends laugh at you because you have no girls? Your mother and father ask you why you don't have a girlfriend? You think that you're a loser because you have no chicks? This is all an ego issue. And its fucked up. Trust me, if you realy want to have a good girlfriend .. one that you will both enjoy your time with & will want to stay in a relationship with her .. you must SCREEN WOMEN. Not every beautiful woman has a personality you'd wanna mess with. The people who do not understand this concept are clowns. I've talked about this before.

Stay away from the desperation frame. I gave you enough reasons why in this post. Almost all the people I ever met who were desperate to meet women ended up with fucked up chicks they weren't even attracted to. I don't know whats the case with you and what are your standards, but I know that I aim high. I don't think anyone should compensate for a chick he's not even attracted to and is with her only for the sake of pleasing other people in his life. FUCK IT!

I realy wish that alot of people will get a chance to read this post.

-- leedrag0n

My opinion on lairs

Hey guys,

I assume that some of you who read this blog came from Alpha, which is the main place where I used to write and share most of my knowledge in the past.

At some point I stopped writing there, and in this post I'm going to explain why I chose to do so and also my big opinion on lairs these days.

Before I start talking about lairs, let me warn you against what is common in society today.

What is common, and is taught, and you can also just open your eyes and SEE it all around you, is: scared and ashamed people who have no ambition in life, who obey according to what society expects them, who are too dependent on other's opinions and acceptance, and who lack their own willpower and instead go through life based on someone else's willpower.

This may seem a bit controversial, but realy I don't believe that aiming for a "3rd degree in math" is someone's real goal. There has to be something below that, maybe such as "Getting accepted socially" or "Making alot of money" or hell even "Living an easier life".

But you see, thats exactly the problem - people these days are looking for ways to make their lives easier, so much that they have forgotten what "willpower" realy means.

This gets me back to the lairs. First and foremost, the biggest problem with "lairs" is that they don't have any screening mechanisms to filter out the people who join them. Most of them allow everyone to join in, and because of that the lair (or forums) most of the times gets filled with guys who inflict others with the wrong, loserish, bad attitudes that society inflicted on them.

The way I see it, most lairs have 2 basic attitude problems that will fuck up every one in them:

1. Lack of willpower to change - Many guys will join a lair because they "want to change", but they will look for easy solutions. The first moment they have to face something that is challenging their own comfort zones, they give up. The reason for this is simple - lack of willpower to change. Willpower is the power within that is greater than anything in life. Believe me, if some murderer ran at you in the street with a knife about to slice your throat, you will find amazing power within you to run away. that is willpower. Do you have the same level of power when it comes to changing yourself? What are you realy willing to do in order to change? If you don't have this, just leave the lairs and go live your life man. You are not ready yet to change yourself.

2. Caring too much about how others perceive it - People join the lair because they "want" to change (I just showed you in the previous paragraph how this "wanting" is not real), but the moment they have to face how others will think about their change they freak out. So I'm asking this again - How much do you realy want to change? If some murderer with a knife ran at you at the street, would you care about how others think about you when you run away from him? If so, you're probably already dead man!

Great!

So now here comes the big "reason" why I decided to stop writing in those lairs ..

You see, when I joined the community it was after years of frustration with women .. I was determined to change .. I had the inner power that was driving me that said that I'm willing to change and that no one could stop me ..

In the beginning I thought that it was something that was just the result of years of frustration, but I later discovered that it was simply my attitude - I am a winner!

This is how I am in sports, this is how I am in life.

This attitude realy has brought me to where I am, but it was realy just a decision shift. It is amazingly difficult for me to be able to relate with people who have no willpower, who have no ambition, and who care too much about what others think about them.

I used to think for a long time that maybe I can influence those people and show them an inspiration of myself so that they will want to become like me, but then I see that the lairs keeps filling up with loserish kind of people who keep dragging those folks back down the drain of improvement!!

This is realy infectious, and at some point I also felt it on myself - after having conversations with those kind of newcomers, it realy infects you with their frustrated / no hope / loserish attitude. And the moment I felt that, I knew it was time for me to take a step away from these people and to just live my life the way I want them to.

Thing is this - I don't think that going out and meeting women is that hard. In fact, its very easy to me. It only becomes difficult the moment I allow average frustrated chumps infect me with their bad attitudes and bad thinking ways.

So, this post goes out to all of you, I hope someone will understand the message I tried presenting here.

Yeah I know some people will say "Maybe you don't explain yourself good enough so people can understand you", well fuck it. I don't get paid for writing this, and this is my own blog so I can freely write whatever I want here, If you don't like this place - feel free to leave.

The choice is yours, I've made my decision.

-- leedrag0n

Be flexible enough!

Hey guys, hows it going ?

Today's post is about flexibility in your game.

It is generally an enhancement, or should i say a correction for my old post "Pickup Stages" where I talked about the 5 general stages of the pickup, which are:

1. Getting her Attention
2. Getting her interested sexually.
3. Isolating
4. Seducing her
5. Closing

You see, most of the PU materials talk about a "structure" from A-Z to follow, and even my old "Pickup stages" talked about it, but infact its a mistake to think this way.

Why ?

Yes it is good to know that women are emotionally driven, and to focus on the emotional states you want them to be in. Yes it is good to know a basic structure that you can follow (like the one i presented in my "Pickup stages" post).

But you should also know that women are differently wired than us, and their emotional states can jump back and forth very quickly between one state to another unexpectedly, a phenomenon that not only makes us unable to properly understand them (because we are not operating that way), but it also makes thinking in terms of a "structure" a terrible idea.

You can start talking with some girl, and while you expect her to open up in a "structured way", she can infact suddenly get so interested in you that she will be ready to kiss you right off the start!

So what i'd like to suggest you to do instead, is what my NLP mentor taught us: never take anything for granted - always test!

In terms of your game, this simply means that you should always test to see if she's physically ready. Its ok to have a basic "structure", but instead of waiting for the "close", you should totally forget about "close" and instead focus on the woman and see if she's ready.

So when it comes to the structure I presented to you, do it this way:

1. Get her attention
1t. Test to see if she's physically ready
2. Interest her in you sexually
2t. Test to see if she's physically ready
3. Isolate
3t. Test to see if she's physically ready
4. Seduce her
4t. Test to see if she's physically ready
..

Im sure you get what I mean now.

Basically, this structure is more similiar to the NLP therapy model of T.O.T.E , which means "Test, Operate, Test, Exit".

In NLP, when we work with a client, we generally put an outcome in mind = the desired change we want to achieve in him. And then, we simply start working in a TOTE model, which means: We start by testing his current state, then we perform our "magic", and then we test to see if the changed has worked by trying to put him back into the original state. If the change isn't complete, we go back and perform another "magic" and then test again. We repeat this as many times as needed, until we believe the change has been completed, and only then do we exit.

So when it comes to women, you should think in a similiar way: You put an outcome = sex with her, and then you start by testing her current state, and you start performing your "magic" over her, and then you test her state again to see if she's ready. If not, you continue and so on until you believe she's ready, and then you do your physical move towards sex.

If you'll start thinking this way, your game will become much more flexible, and much more efficient.

If you want to practice this using my techniques from the previous "Reprogramming your mind" post, use this attitude (credit, again, to Ross Jeffries): "Forget about 'closing' as something to be done at the end of an evening, and instead constantly test her to see if she's ready, because she may show you within the first minute she's ready to kiss you".

Feel free to leave your comments and questions.

-- leedrag0n

How to reprogram your mind

Hey all !

Today's post is a most exciting one for me - It's about how to reprogram your mind, a skill that is unquestionably the most important skill of your success.

Why is it important to reprogram your mind ?

In any given situation in the real world, your mind will usually automatically respond based on your habitual ways of responding that are familiar to it up until that moment. Not always do these "habitual ways of responding" are good choice, or even something you'd logically do. Maybe there's a better way of responding that can lead to more positive results ?

Sure there is .. but more than often it happends that guys who "logically" know a certain attitude ... or a certain belief .. will go out and still get their old ways of responding coming back again time after time. And as you probably already know ... the fact that you know something on the logical level , doesn't mean your mind understands it ... because the mind doesn't understand logic!

So what does the mind know and responds with ?
The mind knows and can respond based on what's familiar to it !

So in order to have a better way of responding , you have to make it something that will be familiar to your brain. You'll have to sort of "train" in your new way of responding ... so that next time when you're out ... it will just feel naturally for your mind to use the new way of responding instead of the old one !

And this is done only by reprogramming and training your mind ..

In order to help you understand how to do it properly, let's start (as always) with a basic core understanding first that will make this whole post way easier for you to understand ..

Core understanding - You are NOT born with fears, wrong attitudes or beliefs. ALL of those are things that YOU LEARN, ADOPT, PERSUADED INTO or maybe even FORCED INTO during your life, and because of that - you can UNLEARN THEM!

Yep, this is a fact here. I'm sure that if you'll ever ask your mom how you were back in the day when you were 4 years old kid, she will probably tell you that you were wayyy different than how you are today. You are not born with fears, fears are simply strategies you develope over time. same goes for beliefs, attitudes and habits.

Now, since I don't want this post to turn into a phylosophical / theoretical discussion and instead I realy want you to grasp the actually practical side here so you can realy understand this, I want you to do this: Remember, as best as you possibly can, the last time you were realy scared to approach a girl. If you can't or don't have any such situation ... try to remember the last time you wanted to meet a girl but didn't.

Now, as you recall that situation ... can you notice any feelings arisen ?

I'm willing to bet you do.

And if you do .. here's the other second understanding you should know ..

Basic understanding - the mind doesn't recognize the difference between a real event and a remembered/imagined event. It processes them BOTH the same!

If you have successfully recalled the situation I asked you to recall, you probably realized that those feelings came up to the surface, at some level. In terms of your mind, it can't tell the difference between a real event and a remember one, it processes them both the same, and thats why you were feeling those feelings again.

This is actually good news, because guess what?

Final understanding - If you can CHANGE the way you FEEL, THINK & ACT on your remembered / imagined event - the change will take affect in the real life event !

One of the things that any good NLP practitioner does when he starts working with a client, is to recall the scenario that contains the undesired response so he could have something to measure against when doing the changework (aka: "reprogramming"). When I asked you to recall the situation here, you have surely felt the undesired response at some level coming up, although it may not have been in the same magnitude as if it was realy happening. Many people mistakenly think thats because "Real life events are stronger than imagination", but in fact its not true. Some people can infact remember scenarios in very vivid details, as if they were actually happening again, some people can actually start to shake just from thinking about something.

The reason for this change in emotional level, is because usually most people don't remember situations exactly as they occured - they eliminate (aka: "delete") undesired details. This is a natural process of the brain. This is what is sometimes known as "selective memory", and we all have it. We remember what we want to remember, and forget what we want to forget.

However, those eliminated details can (and usually do) have an impact over the emotional response level that is received. For instance: if you recall some situation that happend to you, and you see yourself from the side (aka "disassociated"), you can find that if you try to recall the situation again as if it was happening from your own eyes (aka "associated") it has a MUCH more powerful emotional impact on the event. Or: If you recall some situation and can't hear any voices inside of it, try adding the sounds that were in that situation and you will see that it affects the emotional impact.

Many people do not know this knowledge, and make wrong conclusions about whats possible to be done with the mind, and fuck themselves up big time by this. don't follow them!

When you recall a scenario, and the response that pops up is an undesired one, thats only beacuse this is what your mind has learned to do in such scenarios up until now. Change the response on your imagined scenario, so the old response is no longer there, and instead you attach a new reponse that is much more desirable. Test it - try to recall the scenario again and see if the new, desired response comes up. If it does - You can repeat this process several times in order to "train" your mind with the new way of responding, and it is most likely that the new way of reponding will be there for you in the real world event.


So, you want to learn how to reprogram yourself?

If so - Go on ...

How to do it properly?

So much has been written on the internet about how to do reprogramming for your mind, I'm going to present my angle & tips here. Those are things that i have tested and has worked for me, and I'm going to give explanation as best as I can to each and one of them.

I think the most important thing to understand when you're about to do any sort of reprogramming is the next core understanding:


Core "reprogramming" understanding: ANY mind reprogramming can only be done using VISUALIZATION !!

I'm sure you've heard alot about visualization already and heard so many changework "gurus" talk about the importance of visualization, yet I'm willing to bet that you haven't realy done any visualizing yourself.

Many people don't do visualization because they do not believe visualization can actually work in changing them. What alot of people fail to realize is that they are actually all the time reprogramming back old limiting beliefs, past failures, and fears by constantly thinking and visualizing them in the present, and thus contantly reinforcing them.

You must understand this: Your brain is a neurological network of neurons. Neural pathways are created and changed by events that happend to you. The more you experience something - the more your mind gets trained in it. The more your mind gets trained in it - the more the neural pathways related to this event are triggered. The more the neural pathways of this event are triggered - The bigger and stronger they become. The bigger and stronger they become - The more "automatic" you do it. The more "automatic" you do it - it becomes part of who you are, so you don't have to think about it anymore !

Visualization is the creative part of your brain, and any form of "reprogramming", or even "programming" must involve visualization since it is a creative process - something that you create and change.

Cognitive understandings are not enough, because the mind doesn't understand logic - it almost always does what is familiar, or what it was "trained" to do, its just that simple!

You have realized that your mind can't differentiate between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same. So when you start using visualization, you begin to construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind.

You must realy understand this, if you can't understand just how important visualization is for reprogramming your mind, please stop reading this post now - it will be completely useless for you.

If you understand it, then move on ..



Attitude change process using Visualization

In this post, I'm going to explain how to reprogram your mind for an attitude change, but this process can also work great for beliefs change, habits change etc.

Step One: Open a blank document and write a caption with your new, desired, attitude, marked with bold and underline!

There's a magical / hard to explain power about writing. I can assure you that. Many of the posts you read here in my blog, were deeply burned into my mind almost immediately after I wrote them that I could feel changes happening instantly in my thinking ways after writing them.

Why is it so powerful I cannot explain, but I do know that when you write things they get burned into your mind way more powerfully than if you simply say them to yourself, and as a proof .. why do you think that business schedules are written into calendars? :)

So now, after you opened the document and wrote your new desired attitude as a bold caption, it will give your mind a nice new direction ..

Step Two: Below the caption you wrote, write the following instruction: "Remember a situation, not long ago, where you had an opportunity to meet a very attractive woman.. and now imagine how you'd look, act, sound, feel if you had the new attitude .."

Again, You use the power of writing to give your mind directions - you can verbally give yourself a command to remember something, but when you visually write it - the message gets more strongly into your mind.

Great, now after you remember the situation ..

Step Three: Below the instruction , write: "The situation I just remembered:" and then describe the situation.

Yep, simply start describing the situation as you remember it. You don't have to go into full details here, just write enough to bring back the associated image (the way the situation looked from your own eyes). When you're writing to describe events that happend to you, something in the power of writing connects strongly to your memory and allows you to bring back the memory very strongly and vividly to your mind. That's all that is required here.

Step Four: Below the description you just wrote, write: "Now .. how would you act, think, feel and behave differently in the same situation, with the new attitude?"

Now that you have the vividly rememberd scenario playing in your head, it is time for you to start imagining the new response.

It is possible that when you remember the old scenario, old feelings (such as pressure, anxiety) etc will rise up. Because again like I said, the mind can't tell the difference between imagination and real events. That's not a bad sign, infact - its a good sign. Because if you can change the way you respond to it in your imagination, the real life response will be the same.

But, if any feelings like pressure, anxiety etc come up - melt them using a technique called "Equanimity" that is best explained by Ross Jeffriess, in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-v2cHfHERU

And then, once you melt the feelings and you are clean and relaxed, go on to the next step ..

Step Five: Imagine what you look like from another person's point of view. From the eyes of a stranger that looks from sideways on you and the woman.

And write how it looks.

This is called disassociated imagery, and it will give your mind a great new direction for the new programming.

Step Six: Fly into your own eyes, and see the new scenario from your own eyes

And write it, this is called associated imagery.

Step Seven: Fly into the woman's eyes, and see how you look from her eyes

And write it as well, big credits to Ross Jeffries again for this tip, it is laid out in his entire "Seduction Mastery Series" in the Youtube link i just gave you.

Step Eight: Physically step up, with your eyes closed, and fly again into your own eyes, and now both see the new scenario from your own eyes and involve (act) yourself physically and verbally as if it was realy happening

This is the final step here, and now after you have "programmed" yourself into the new situation from 3 different perspective, this final step will be so easily done and yet so powerfully programmed into you.

Step Nine: Repeat 2 more times

You can bring up 2 more scenarios and run the whole thing again .. or even more if you like.

Just make sure after it to ..

Final step: Forget it and let it go!

And this is because things that you forget tend to get burried better in your subconscious mind and be ready for you at the real world situation. If you want a proof for it - Have you ever noticed how stuff that you thought about yesterday, or this morning, suddenly arises today and you find it more useful and have new answers to it ?

That was it, it was a long post but I hope that some of you will find this useful.

And of course, feel free to give me your comments.

-- leedrag0n

Get Motivated !

Hey all !

Its been some time, I have no idea if you keep following but anyways this post is going to be a realy important one - its about how to get motivation to go out and meet women !

Sometimes you run into times where you have no motivation to go out and meet women - it can be because you work too much, maybe you just ended a relationship, maybe you got rejected a few times and it turned you down, perhaps you feel its too much work to get out there and approach women, etc.

So whatever reason it shall be - this post is for you!

Here are 4 main points that will help you getting back to the field :

1. If sales people can approach & sell (for money paid!!!) amazingly stupid and unuseful products - there's no reason in the world for you to not be able to sell love or sex for women for free. Read this one 100 times until you get it. THIS IS A BASIC CORE UNDERSTANDING!

2. Presenting an idea (or anything else) is way easier (and in some cases even only possible) when there's rapport - so if you get rejected or some girl don't flow with you, instead of taking it personally as an insult or as an indication of your attractiveness, simply realize most chances are there was a lack of rapport between you two.

3. Most of the time, people buy things (or take decisions) based on an impulse, aka emotion. If it just looks or sounds logically good or right for them its still not going to be enough to drive them. You must focus and create the emotional states that will drive their behaviour and decisions.

4. Any fear you may have - Fear of rejection, Fear of approaching, Fear of getting laughed on, Fear of failure, etc - any fear can be removed by proper reprogramming of your mind ! Thats what NLP was created for.


Ponder those for a while ..

-- leedrag0n


P.S: You are welcome to give me your feedback on this post if you find it useful or need more info.