Hey guys, hows it going ?
Today's post is about flexibility in your game.
It is generally an enhancement, or should i say a correction for my old post "Pickup Stages" where I talked about the 5 general stages of the pickup, which are:
1. Getting her Attention
2. Getting her interested sexually.
3. Isolating
4. Seducing her
5. Closing
You see, most of the PU materials talk about a "structure" from A-Z to follow, and even my old "Pickup stages" talked about it, but infact its a mistake to think this way.
Why ?
Yes it is good to know that women are emotionally driven, and to focus on the emotional states you want them to be in. Yes it is good to know a basic structure that you can follow (like the one i presented in my "Pickup stages" post).
But you should also know that women are differently wired than us, and their emotional states can jump back and forth very quickly between one state to another unexpectedly, a phenomenon that not only makes us unable to properly understand them (because we are not operating that way), but it also makes thinking in terms of a "structure" a terrible idea.
You can start talking with some girl, and while you expect her to open up in a "structured way", she can infact suddenly get so interested in you that she will be ready to kiss you right off the start!
So what i'd like to suggest you to do instead, is what my NLP mentor taught us: never take anything for granted - always test!
In terms of your game, this simply means that you should always test to see if she's physically ready. Its ok to have a basic "structure", but instead of waiting for the "close", you should totally forget about "close" and instead focus on the woman and see if she's ready.
So when it comes to the structure I presented to you, do it this way:
1. Get her attention
1t. Test to see if she's physically ready
2. Interest her in you sexually
2t. Test to see if she's physically ready
3. Isolate
3t. Test to see if she's physically ready
4. Seduce her
4t. Test to see if she's physically ready
..
Im sure you get what I mean now.
Basically, this structure is more similiar to the NLP therapy model of T.O.T.E , which means "Test, Operate, Test, Exit".
In NLP, when we work with a client, we generally put an outcome in mind = the desired change we want to achieve in him. And then, we simply start working in a TOTE model, which means: We start by testing his current state, then we perform our "magic", and then we test to see if the changed has worked by trying to put him back into the original state. If the change isn't complete, we go back and perform another "magic" and then test again. We repeat this as many times as needed, until we believe the change has been completed, and only then do we exit.
So when it comes to women, you should think in a similiar way: You put an outcome = sex with her, and then you start by testing her current state, and you start performing your "magic" over her, and then you test her state again to see if she's ready. If not, you continue and so on until you believe she's ready, and then you do your physical move towards sex.
If you'll start thinking this way, your game will become much more flexible, and much more efficient.
If you want to practice this using my techniques from the previous "Reprogramming your mind" post, use this attitude (credit, again, to Ross Jeffries): "Forget about 'closing' as something to be done at the end of an evening, and instead constantly test her to see if she's ready, because she may show you within the first minute she's ready to kiss you".
Feel free to leave your comments and questions.
-- leedrag0n
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
How to reprogram your mind
Hey all !
Today's post is a most exciting one for me - It's about how to reprogram your mind, a skill that is unquestionably the most important skill of your success.
Why is it important to reprogram your mind ?
In any given situation in the real world, your mind will usually automatically respond based on your habitual ways of responding that are familiar to it up until that moment. Not always do these "habitual ways of responding" are good choice, or even something you'd logically do. Maybe there's a better way of responding that can lead to more positive results ?
Sure there is .. but more than often it happends that guys who "logically" know a certain attitude ... or a certain belief .. will go out and still get their old ways of responding coming back again time after time. And as you probably already know ... the fact that you know something on the logical level , doesn't mean your mind understands it ... because the mind doesn't understand logic!
So what does the mind know and responds with ?
The mind knows and can respond based on what's familiar to it !
So in order to have a better way of responding , you have to make it something that will be familiar to your brain. You'll have to sort of "train" in your new way of responding ... so that next time when you're out ... it will just feel naturally for your mind to use the new way of responding instead of the old one !
And this is done only by reprogramming and training your mind ..
Core understanding - You are NOT born with fears, wrong attitudes or beliefs. ALL of those are things that YOU LEARN, ADOPT, PERSUADED INTO or maybe even FORCED INTO during your life, and because of that - you can UNLEARN THEM!
Yep, this is a fact here. I'm sure that if you'll ever ask your mom how you were back in the day when you were 4 years old kid, she will probably tell you that you were wayyy different than how you are today. You are not born with fears, fears are simply strategies you develope over time. same goes for beliefs, attitudes and habits.
Now, since I don't want this post to turn into a phylosophical / theoretical discussion and instead I realy want you to grasp the actually practical side here so you can realy understand this, I want you to do this: Remember, as best as you possibly can, the last time you were realy scared to approach a girl. If you can't or don't have any such situation ... try to remember the last time you wanted to meet a girl but didn't.
Now, as you recall that situation ... can you notice any feelings arisen ?
I'm willing to bet you do.
And if you do .. here's the other second understanding you should know ..
Basic understanding - the mind doesn't recognize the difference between a real event and a remembered/imagined event. It processes them BOTH the same!
If you have successfully recalled the situation I asked you to recall, you probably realized that those feelings came up to the surface, at some level. In terms of your mind, it can't tell the difference between a real event and a remember one, it processes them both the same, and thats why you were feeling those feelings again.
This is actually good news, because guess what?
Final understanding - If you can CHANGE the way you FEEL, THINK & ACT on your remembered / imagined event - the change will take affect in the real life event !
One of the things that any good NLP practitioner does when he starts working with a client, is to recall the scenario that contains the undesired response so he could have something to measure against when doing the changework (aka: "reprogramming"). When I asked you to recall the situation here, you have surely felt the undesired response at some level coming up, although it may not have been in the same magnitude as if it was realy happening. Many people mistakenly think thats because "Real life events are stronger than imagination", but in fact its not true. Some people can infact remember scenarios in very vivid details, as if they were actually happening again, some people can actually start to shake just from thinking about something.
The reason for this change in emotional level, is because usually most people don't remember situations exactly as they occured - they eliminate (aka: "delete") undesired details. This is a natural process of the brain. This is what is sometimes known as "selective memory", and we all have it. We remember what we want to remember, and forget what we want to forget.
However, those eliminated details can (and usually do) have an impact over the emotional response level that is received. For instance: if you recall some situation that happend to you, and you see yourself from the side (aka "disassociated"), you can find that if you try to recall the situation again as if it was happening from your own eyes (aka "associated") it has a MUCH more powerful emotional impact on the event. Or: If you recall some situation and can't hear any voices inside of it, try adding the sounds that were in that situation and you will see that it affects the emotional impact.
Many people do not know this knowledge, and make wrong conclusions about whats possible to be done with the mind, and fuck themselves up big time by this. don't follow them!
The reason for this change in emotional level, is because usually most people don't remember situations exactly as they occured - they eliminate (aka: "delete") undesired details. This is a natural process of the brain. This is what is sometimes known as "selective memory", and we all have it. We remember what we want to remember, and forget what we want to forget.
However, those eliminated details can (and usually do) have an impact over the emotional response level that is received. For instance: if you recall some situation that happend to you, and you see yourself from the side (aka "disassociated"), you can find that if you try to recall the situation again as if it was happening from your own eyes (aka "associated") it has a MUCH more powerful emotional impact on the event. Or: If you recall some situation and can't hear any voices inside of it, try adding the sounds that were in that situation and you will see that it affects the emotional impact.
Many people do not know this knowledge, and make wrong conclusions about whats possible to be done with the mind, and fuck themselves up big time by this. don't follow them!
When you recall a scenario, and the response that pops up is an undesired one, thats only beacuse this is what your mind has learned to do in such scenarios up until now. Change the response on your imagined scenario, so the old response is no longer there, and instead you attach a new reponse that is much more desirable. Test it - try to recall the scenario again and see if the new, desired response comes up. If it does - You can repeat this process several times in order to "train" your mind with the new way of responding, and it is most likely that the new way of reponding will be there for you in the real world event.
So, you want to learn how to reprogram yourself?
If so - Go on ...
How to do it properly?
So much has been written on the internet about how to do reprogramming for your mind, I'm going to present my angle & tips here. Those are things that i have tested and has worked for me, and I'm going to give explanation as best as I can to each and one of them.
I think the most important thing to understand when you're about to do any sort of reprogramming is the next core understanding:
Core "reprogramming" understanding: ANY mind reprogramming can only be done using VISUALIZATION !!
I'm sure you've heard alot about visualization already and heard so many changework "gurus" talk about the importance of visualization, yet I'm willing to bet that you haven't realy done any visualizing yourself.
Many people don't do visualization because they do not believe visualization can actually work in changing them. What alot of people fail to realize is that they are actually all the time reprogramming back old limiting beliefs, past failures, and fears by constantly thinking and visualizing them in the present, and thus contantly reinforcing them.
You must understand this: Your brain is a neurological network of neurons. Neural pathways are created and changed by events that happend to you. The more you experience something - the more your mind gets trained in it. The more your mind gets trained in it - the more the neural pathways related to this event are triggered. The more the neural pathways of this event are triggered - The bigger and stronger they become. The bigger and stronger they become - The more "automatic" you do it. The more "automatic" you do it - it becomes part of who you are, so you don't have to think about it anymore !
Visualization is the creative part of your brain, and any form of "reprogramming", or even "programming" must involve visualization since it is a creative process - something that you create and change.
Cognitive understandings are not enough, because the mind doesn't understand logic - it almost always does what is familiar, or what it was "trained" to do, its just that simple!
You have realized that your mind can't differentiate between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same. So when you start using visualization, you begin to construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind.
I think the most important thing to understand when you're about to do any sort of reprogramming is the next core understanding:
Core "reprogramming" understanding: ANY mind reprogramming can only be done using VISUALIZATION !!
I'm sure you've heard alot about visualization already and heard so many changework "gurus" talk about the importance of visualization, yet I'm willing to bet that you haven't realy done any visualizing yourself.
Many people don't do visualization because they do not believe visualization can actually work in changing them. What alot of people fail to realize is that they are actually all the time reprogramming back old limiting beliefs, past failures, and fears by constantly thinking and visualizing them in the present, and thus contantly reinforcing them.
You must understand this: Your brain is a neurological network of neurons. Neural pathways are created and changed by events that happend to you. The more you experience something - the more your mind gets trained in it. The more your mind gets trained in it - the more the neural pathways related to this event are triggered. The more the neural pathways of this event are triggered - The bigger and stronger they become. The bigger and stronger they become - The more "automatic" you do it. The more "automatic" you do it - it becomes part of who you are, so you don't have to think about it anymore !
Visualization is the creative part of your brain, and any form of "reprogramming", or even "programming" must involve visualization since it is a creative process - something that you create and change.
Cognitive understandings are not enough, because the mind doesn't understand logic - it almost always does what is familiar, or what it was "trained" to do, its just that simple!
You have realized that your mind can't differentiate between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same. So when you start using visualization, you begin to construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind.
You must realy understand this, if you can't understand just how important visualization is for reprogramming your mind, please stop reading this post now - it will be completely useless for you.
If you understand it, then move on ..
Attitude change process using Visualization
In this post, I'm going to explain how to reprogram your mind for an attitude change, but this process can also work great for beliefs change, habits change etc.
Step One: Open a blank document and write a caption with your new, desired, attitude, marked with bold and underline!
There's a magical / hard to explain power about writing. I can assure you that. Many of the posts you read here in my blog, were deeply burned into my mind almost immediately after I wrote them that I could feel changes happening instantly in my thinking ways after writing them.
Why is it so powerful I cannot explain, but I do know that when you write things they get burned into your mind way more powerfully than if you simply say them to yourself, and as a proof .. why do you think that business schedules are written into calendars? :)
So now, after you opened the document and wrote your new desired attitude as a bold caption, it will give your mind a nice new direction ..
Step Two: Below the caption you wrote, write the following instruction: "Remember a situation, not long ago, where you had an opportunity to meet a very attractive woman.. and now imagine how you'd look, act, sound, feel if you had the new attitude .."
Again, You use the power of writing to give your mind directions - you can verbally give yourself a command to remember something, but when you visually write it - the message gets more strongly into your mind.
Great, now after you remember the situation ..
Step Three: Below the instruction , write: "The situation I just remembered:" and then describe the situation.
Yep, simply start describing the situation as you remember it. You don't have to go into full details here, just write enough to bring back the associated image (the way the situation looked from your own eyes). When you're writing to describe events that happend to you, something in the power of writing connects strongly to your memory and allows you to bring back the memory very strongly and vividly to your mind. That's all that is required here.
Step Four: Below the description you just wrote, write: "Now .. how would you act, think, feel and behave differently in the same situation, with the new attitude?"
Now that you have the vividly rememberd scenario playing in your head, it is time for you to start imagining the new response.
It is possible that when you remember the old scenario, old feelings (such as pressure, anxiety) etc will rise up. Because again like I said, the mind can't tell the difference between imagination and real events. That's not a bad sign, infact - its a good sign. Because if you can change the way you respond to it in your imagination, the real life response will be the same.
But, if any feelings like pressure, anxiety etc come up - melt them using a technique called "Equanimity" that is best explained by Ross Jeffriess, in this video:
And then, once you melt the feelings and you are clean and relaxed, go on to the next step ..
Step Five: Imagine what you look like from another person's point of view. From the eyes of a stranger that looks from sideways on you and the woman.
And write how it looks.
This is called disassociated imagery, and it will give your mind a great new direction for the new programming.
Step Six: Fly into your own eyes, and see the new scenario from your own eyes
And write it, this is called associated imagery.
Step Seven: Fly into the woman's eyes, and see how you look from her eyes
And write it as well, big credits to Ross Jeffries again for this tip, it is laid out in his entire "Seduction Mastery Series" in the Youtube link i just gave you.
Step Eight: Physically step up, with your eyes closed, and fly again into your own eyes, and now both see the new scenario from your own eyes and involve (act) yourself physically and verbally as if it was realy happening
This is the final step here, and now after you have "programmed" yourself into the new situation from 3 different perspective, this final step will be so easily done and yet so powerfully programmed into you.
Step Nine: Repeat 2 more times
You can bring up 2 more scenarios and run the whole thing again .. or even more if you like.
Just make sure after it to ..
Final step: Forget it and let it go!
And this is because things that you forget tend to get burried better in your subconscious mind and be ready for you at the real world situation. If you want a proof for it - Have you ever noticed how stuff that you thought about yesterday, or this morning, suddenly arises today and you find it more useful and have new answers to it ?
That was it, it was a long post but I hope that some of you will find this useful.
And of course, feel free to give me your comments.
-- leedrag0n
Monday, February 1, 2010
Get Motivated !
Hey all !
Its been some time, I have no idea if you keep following but anyways this post is going to be a realy important one - its about how to get motivation to go out and meet women !
Sometimes you run into times where you have no motivation to go out and meet women - it can be because you work too much, maybe you just ended a relationship, maybe you got rejected a few times and it turned you down, perhaps you feel its too much work to get out there and approach women, etc.
So whatever reason it shall be - this post is for you!
Here are 4 main points that will help you getting back to the field :
1. If sales people can approach & sell (for money paid!!!) amazingly stupid and unuseful products - there's no reason in the world for you to not be able to sell love or sex for women for free. Read this one 100 times until you get it. THIS IS A BASIC CORE UNDERSTANDING!
2. Presenting an idea (or anything else) is way easier (and in some cases even only possible) when there's rapport - so if you get rejected or some girl don't flow with you, instead of taking it personally as an insult or as an indication of your attractiveness, simply realize most chances are there was a lack of rapport between you two.
3. Most of the time, people buy things (or take decisions) based on an impulse, aka emotion. If it just looks or sounds logically good or right for them its still not going to be enough to drive them. You must focus and create the emotional states that will drive their behaviour and decisions.
4. Any fear you may have - Fear of rejection, Fear of approaching, Fear of getting laughed on, Fear of failure, etc - any fear can be removed by proper reprogramming of your mind ! Thats what NLP was created for.
Ponder those for a while ..
-- leedrag0n
P.S: You are welcome to give me your feedback on this post if you find it useful or need more info.
Its been some time, I have no idea if you keep following but anyways this post is going to be a realy important one - its about how to get motivation to go out and meet women !
Sometimes you run into times where you have no motivation to go out and meet women - it can be because you work too much, maybe you just ended a relationship, maybe you got rejected a few times and it turned you down, perhaps you feel its too much work to get out there and approach women, etc.
So whatever reason it shall be - this post is for you!
Here are 4 main points that will help you getting back to the field :
1. If sales people can approach & sell (for money paid!!!) amazingly stupid and unuseful products - there's no reason in the world for you to not be able to sell love or sex for women for free. Read this one 100 times until you get it. THIS IS A BASIC CORE UNDERSTANDING!
2. Presenting an idea (or anything else) is way easier (and in some cases even only possible) when there's rapport - so if you get rejected or some girl don't flow with you, instead of taking it personally as an insult or as an indication of your attractiveness, simply realize most chances are there was a lack of rapport between you two.
3. Most of the time, people buy things (or take decisions) based on an impulse, aka emotion. If it just looks or sounds logically good or right for them its still not going to be enough to drive them. You must focus and create the emotional states that will drive their behaviour and decisions.
4. Any fear you may have - Fear of rejection, Fear of approaching, Fear of getting laughed on, Fear of failure, etc - any fear can be removed by proper reprogramming of your mind ! Thats what NLP was created for.
Ponder those for a while ..
-- leedrag0n
P.S: You are welcome to give me your feedback on this post if you find it useful or need more info.
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