Avoid desperation !

This post goes out to all you guys out there !


You know .. we all have those times where we just wish we had a girl with us. Sometimes we go out of our house, and we see a hot chick hanging with a guy ... and she looks so good , so hot .. and the guy looks so happy with her ... sometimes we can talk to our friends and they tell us how happy they are with their girlfriends ... sometimes it seems like everyone around us have hot girls in their lives and we do not ... and those are the times where we feel like we want to get a hot girl into our life too !

However, you should know that Desperation is probably the worst place to go and meet women from. If you've ever heard the phrase "All the girls I want - Don't want me" , or "People want what runs from them", then I hope this post will explain it better.

You see, Desperation is terrible for the following reasons :

1. You're putting pressure on yourself - "I gotta get a girl", "I gotta make this work". This will eventually affect you both physiologically, both energetically, and both mentally. People can't think straight when they are under pressure, pressure is realy exhausting and you are more than likely to make mistakes in such a state.

2. Your state is always reflected by your physiology - In other words, how you feel is what you project, or "The mind and body are interconnected to each other and affect each other". I personally don't believe in the "fake it till you make it" theory. Your body has more than 600 muscles in it, some of which are completely out of your conscious control. Any state you feel gets reflected by your physiology. I realy can't believe anyone can control 600 muscles simultaneously at will .... at some level your fake will always be projeted ... and you realy don't want to be in this place with women .. because ...

3. Women are *very* sensitive to your vibe - This is not a bad thing at all. Its simply part of how women are wired. Women take care of babies and know how to read their vibes to know if its time to feed them or get them to sleep, and they can do the same with you. When you come from a place of desperation and pressure where your system is full of inner noise, you're simply going to project a vibe that is realy turning women off !!! (Unless you're incredibly handsome that they don't care)


Now .. those are realy only the starting symptoms for a much bigger problem that may come afterwards: You will go out to the world with alot of pressure and expectations from yourself of "I've gotta find a girl" so you will get exhausted realy quick and your mind won't be quiet. It will be difficult for you to behave in a natural way because you're so desperate to get a result, that you will either think twice before any move you do, or wait for the "perfect" moment or "the perfect answer" , that guess what? never exists .. the vibe you'll present will be an unattractive one because its not clean and filled with alot of inner noise that it will turn and scare women off you, so you will have a difficult time getting results and soon you will start feeling that the whole process of meeting women becomes realy hard ... and this becomes a cycle that will go on and on ... until at some point you'll simply feel stuck and doomed and will stop everything and give up !


Is this realy the place you want to end at ?

Im sure not, but you see .. the problem is that the attitude of being desperate to meet women is infectious among men ... sometimes it seems like men teach each other how to be desperate !

Here's a nice story to illustrate what I mean: One day I was in the mall and I happend to meet a girl who happend to be exactly my type looks wise. An 8-9 on the scale of 1-10 easily. I took her number, and called her after 2 days and we had a great conversation going and I asked her if she wanted to meet .. in the beginning she said they had plans with her sister ... and she'll let me know if it changes. End of the story she told me she's not meeting her sister, but I then couldn't meet her because I finished working realy late ... so we decided to meet another day.

I told this story to a friend of mine, and guess what was the first thing he said?

"Why didn't you meet her????? You gotta strike while the iron is hot !!!!"

Now .. this is not the first time I hear such comments from people I know. Most of the people I ever met in the seduction community have this kind of thinking in their minds. I remember that I had my MSN filled with people from the seduction community. Every single time I told them I went out to sarge, the first question they almost instinctively always asked me was: "Did you get any results?". The questions you ask reflect the way you think.

Now, as you read the above .. tell me that this is not coming from a place of "I've gotta make this work" ... "I've gotta get something out of this" etc. ?

Again, desperation is a bad place to come from and especially meet women from.
The best place to come from is a place of not giving a fuck about whether or not you get something out of this !

But I mean realy not caring ... not trying to "fake it" that you don't care about the results .. while in the back of your mind you're still thinking ".. If i'll act as if I dont care about the result, I'll get a result" .. because that is still focusing on wanting to get a result !

Some of you may think "But this is counter productive! If you want a result, you've got to try and get a result, no ?". YES, but why do so with much pressure on yourself ?????

Look, let me give you an illustration to explain my point: Think about a computer game you like. I personally realy like Minesweeper, here's a screenshot:



The purpose of this game is simple: You have empty cells that contain mines in them in random spots, and every time you click an empty cell it either opens up like in the image: every number shows the number of mines around that cell, or you open a mine and game over.

Now, this game is fun ! I can play it for hours. When I first started playing this game, I've had a hard time finishing even a simple 10x10 cells game :) But i've kept playing and kept practicing ... and today I'm at a level where I can finish the above screen in less than 2 minutes !

But thats the thing - when you play something, or do something without a pressure, from a place of fun - there's absolutely no way you can't succeed ! Most guys think about meeting a woman as some dangerous and important task they must finish successfully, because their entire ego is standing on the line ... And I'm telling you that this is a realy fucked up mindframe!
Why not turn meeting women into a game as well?

Think about the 3 points I gave you in the beginning of this post .. and think about all the benefits you could have if you change your orientation this way. Think just just how much more brain powers, energy and especially freely available mind thoughts and resources you can get at your disposal to meet women with when you come from this place !

YOUR GAME WILL EVEN BECOME BETTER AND SMOOTHER !

On the other hand ... imagine to yourself a wierd scenario : Some kidnappers take both of a kid's parents to hostage, and in order for the kid to get them back they give him a single opportunity to get them back : They give him to play Minesweeper. and he has never played this game before .. and now they tell him : You have 5 minutes to finish the advanced level. If you succeed, you get your parents back ... and if not, you will not see them again forever !

Do you realy think the kid will be able to even learn how to play the game with so much pressure being put on the line ?

Thats almost the same level of pressure guys put over themselves when it comes to women !!!

For some guys, meeting a hottie is considered a "one time opportunity" ... I think I've heard the phrase "Its now or never" more than I can even count LOL ....


So whats the solution ?

Change your orientation !

What if instead of seeing a woman as a "once in a lifetime opportunity" , "I've gotta make this work" , "I must get something out of this" ... you could think about it as an opportunity to have fun and find out what she's like ? (credits Ross Jeffries again!)


Here are some more nice realizations to help you:

1. She is not the only girl in the world that looks like that.

2. You don't even know what kind of a person she is ..

3. You never signed a contract that says that you must get something from her. I realy mean it. Your friends laugh at you because you have no girls? Your mother and father ask you why you don't have a girlfriend? You think that you're a loser because you have no chicks? This is all an ego issue. And its fucked up. Trust me, if you realy want to have a good girlfriend .. one that you will both enjoy your time with & will want to stay in a relationship with her .. you must SCREEN WOMEN. Not every beautiful woman has a personality you'd wanna mess with. The people who do not understand this concept are clowns. I've talked about this before.

Stay away from the desperation frame. I gave you enough reasons why in this post. Almost all the people I ever met who were desperate to meet women ended up with fucked up chicks they weren't even attracted to. I don't know whats the case with you and what are your standards, but I know that I aim high. I don't think anyone should compensate for a chick he's not even attracted to and is with her only for the sake of pleasing other people in his life. FUCK IT!

I realy wish that alot of people will get a chance to read this post.

-- leedrag0n

My opinion on lairs

Hey guys,

I assume that some of you who read this blog came from Alpha, which is the main place where I used to write and share most of my knowledge in the past.

At some point I stopped writing there, and in this post I'm going to explain why I chose to do so and also my big opinion on lairs these days.

Before I start talking about lairs, let me warn you against what is common in society today.

What is common, and is taught, and you can also just open your eyes and SEE it all around you, is: scared and ashamed people who have no ambition in life, who obey according to what society expects them, who are too dependent on other's opinions and acceptance, and who lack their own willpower and instead go through life based on someone else's willpower.

This may seem a bit controversial, but realy I don't believe that aiming for a "3rd degree in math" is someone's real goal. There has to be something below that, maybe such as "Getting accepted socially" or "Making alot of money" or hell even "Living an easier life".

But you see, thats exactly the problem - people these days are looking for ways to make their lives easier, so much that they have forgotten what "willpower" realy means.

This gets me back to the lairs. First and foremost, the biggest problem with "lairs" is that they don't have any screening mechanisms to filter out the people who join them. Most of them allow everyone to join in, and because of that the lair (or forums) most of the times gets filled with guys who inflict others with the wrong, loserish, bad attitudes that society inflicted on them.

The way I see it, most lairs have 2 basic attitude problems that will fuck up every one in them:

1. Lack of willpower to change - Many guys will join a lair because they "want to change", but they will look for easy solutions. The first moment they have to face something that is challenging their own comfort zones, they give up. The reason for this is simple - lack of willpower to change. Willpower is the power within that is greater than anything in life. Believe me, if some murderer ran at you in the street with a knife about to slice your throat, you will find amazing power within you to run away. that is willpower. Do you have the same level of power when it comes to changing yourself? What are you realy willing to do in order to change? If you don't have this, just leave the lairs and go live your life man. You are not ready yet to change yourself.

2. Caring too much about how others perceive it - People join the lair because they "want" to change (I just showed you in the previous paragraph how this "wanting" is not real), but the moment they have to face how others will think about their change they freak out. So I'm asking this again - How much do you realy want to change? If some murderer with a knife ran at you at the street, would you care about how others think about you when you run away from him? If so, you're probably already dead man!

Great!

So now here comes the big "reason" why I decided to stop writing in those lairs ..

You see, when I joined the community it was after years of frustration with women .. I was determined to change .. I had the inner power that was driving me that said that I'm willing to change and that no one could stop me ..

In the beginning I thought that it was something that was just the result of years of frustration, but I later discovered that it was simply my attitude - I am a winner!

This is how I am in sports, this is how I am in life.

This attitude realy has brought me to where I am, but it was realy just a decision shift. It is amazingly difficult for me to be able to relate with people who have no willpower, who have no ambition, and who care too much about what others think about them.

I used to think for a long time that maybe I can influence those people and show them an inspiration of myself so that they will want to become like me, but then I see that the lairs keeps filling up with loserish kind of people who keep dragging those folks back down the drain of improvement!!

This is realy infectious, and at some point I also felt it on myself - after having conversations with those kind of newcomers, it realy infects you with their frustrated / no hope / loserish attitude. And the moment I felt that, I knew it was time for me to take a step away from these people and to just live my life the way I want them to.

Thing is this - I don't think that going out and meeting women is that hard. In fact, its very easy to me. It only becomes difficult the moment I allow average frustrated chumps infect me with their bad attitudes and bad thinking ways.

So, this post goes out to all of you, I hope someone will understand the message I tried presenting here.

Yeah I know some people will say "Maybe you don't explain yourself good enough so people can understand you", well fuck it. I don't get paid for writing this, and this is my own blog so I can freely write whatever I want here, If you don't like this place - feel free to leave.

The choice is yours, I've made my decision.

-- leedrag0n