This is a post where I'll unpack what I talked about in the previous post about finding the balance between attitude & technique. Today I want to go deep and talk in a bit more depth about having the right attitude with women.
This post assumes that you know the right techniques and have basic knowledge on approaching & talking to women. If you don't have it yet, don't worry I'll unpack it in the NEXT post, where I'll talk more about the right techniques to approach & game women. Nonetheless, I still recommend that you read THIS post and understand it deeply, as this can realy have enormous impacts on your game. I mean it! This is not something to be ignored. Then, after you understand it, go over and read the techniques post, as those are important too, and it will all make sense to you.
So let's talk about Attitude, guys.
If you come to game a woman from a worrying/doubt frame of "What should I do to get her?" which is the frame for almost 99% of the guys out there, you're going to fuck yourself up.
This will bring hesitation, pressure, and stress to your game that won't help you at all and infact shouldn't even be there. Why do guys approach women from this perspective? Because they don't want to be "rejected". They view "rejection" as being a negative thing about them, where IN REALITY a rejection is actually a good thing (Because it helps you screen out negative or difficult targets..) and also tells you negative things ABOUT THE WOMAN. Her rejecting you is just an indication about HER lack of spontaneity, HER lack of genuine interest in men, HER lack of self esteem, and maybe even lack of HER ability to be friendly towards people or even open-minded towards new experiences.
As long as your approach is OK, safe and spontanious, as it should be.. and yet she still ignored it.. guess what? She just screened herself OUT of your gaming options. Let her go! You MUST think in terms of HAPPY SEX LIFE.. and if at any point the dynamics between you and woman turn into a struggle, NEXT HER! I mean it. An interaction between a man & a woman SHOULD be a pleasant and enjoyable thing for both sides (as long as it is done RIGHT, of course..), not some kind of a negotiation or struggle. Believe it or not some women are VERY friendly, fun, open minded, even happy human beings who are capable of giving love, sex, and pleasure to and with the people around them. Other women, on the other hand, are close minded, unhappy, pissed off human beings who WILL NOT give ANYTHING unless some very wierd and unpleasant conditions on YOUR PART are met.. and even then.. they will give VERY LITTLE if almost NOTHING at ALL! These women are just energy, money, and mood drainers and should be avoided at ALL costs.. and it doesn't matter how hard you'll game them, you won't get NOTHING from them! NOTHING!
So screening women is a MUST.
Not just game wise, but also for your life.
If you still find yourself feeling bad about a woman who did not "flow" with you... realy ask yourself.. what is SO special about HER? I mean realy.... think about it... What did SHE do FOR YOU that EARNED her this place? Exactly. NOTHING! She may have turned you on sexually (which might be the case) but if you can't do anything with her - she is USELESS for you! She's just a woman who has demonstrated to you that even a simple, safe, and friendly approach couldn't get her interested in talking to you to even give an opportunity for both of you... so really.. just LET HER GO! She's not going to be a useful target anyway...
Why is this attitude so important and so crucial with women?
First of all, this is based on real world facts. If you are a guy who HAVE HAD success with women in the past, MOST women who you've had success with, assuming you approached them right.. are women who were OPEN to your approach right from the start. They didn't avoid it, they didn't run away from it, they gave a good vibe and in most cases they actually helped you keeping the interaction going. So this, by itself is ALREADY an indication you can look for to maximize your efforts, and I'll explain how to do this in the next post about technique, and the things to look for on women to just save your time on the right targets.
Second of all, some women are "conditioned" that guys must chase them. I don't know why. This could be either based on what she is used to from an early age, fears, bad experiences or some wierd belief set or "education" she has got that "the right guy" should be one who chases her and "earns" her approval. Well first of all, if she realy has fears from men or had bad experiences in the past, you realy don't need her.. and if you have the choice to choose women (and you DO, as YOU approach them!), you don't need a nutcase or a psychology test subject for your love life. Trust me on this. It's going to be alot of headache, dramas, terrible sex, and the list goes on and on.. and it's just not worth it where there are PLENTY of healthy, fun, and cool women out there. Second, in reality, I have found that this dynamic of "chasing" a woman NEVER WORKS! (and guys: I'm NOT talking about being persistent in the bedroom while you are both alone. That's not chasing over there, that's being AGGRESSIVE. And being aggressive, in that part of the game, is actually ok ;)... Even worse: once you enter the place where the dynamic between you and a woman turns into you chasing her (and some women WILL keep trying to put you into this dynamic, because that's what they are USED to), you basically gave her ALL THE POWER to control you, and most women (if not all) are really TURNED OFF from this. This is not masculine behaviour! Most women in their core nature are NOT attracted to submissive men who give them the power to control them. I talked to ALOT of girls in my life about this and most of them have approved this, I have tried it myself and it failed. This is an unbelievably crucial and important point. Because this is how she feels about you once you start chasing her or showing her that she's so important to you.
In the next post about technique, I'll get into how to avoid getting into this dynamic and what's a proper way to "handle" women.
And the third reason why this attitude is important is that when you game from this perspective.. when you no longer have to "worry" about what to say or do.. and you can instead just see a woman and go "Let's see if she's a spontaneous person.." or "Let's see if she's the kind of woman I'm looking for.." .. when you get into this place mentally, ALL the pressure is taken off from you, and this gets projected in your vibe and allows you to be genuine, friendly and even attractive to women. I mean think about it - what kind of a person is more attractive? A person who is tense and gives off bad vibes? Or a person who is loose, happy, and open? We all know the answer to this question.
I know that I have spilled alot on you here, but this is realy deep shit stuff you must know and internalize. Especially the part on women selection and understanding why the "chasing her" dynamic never works. I want to give you some tip here: Some women will "reject" you on purpose, even when they are infact interested in you, but they use it as a strategy to get you chasing & investing in them. Its just what they are used to do. NEVER ACCEPT THIS DYNAMIC! You'll never get anything from her once you entered that place. I'll show you, in the next post, ways to deal with women who "reject" you, without appearing to be chasing them.
I'm not saying this based on some ego thing or because I hate women or something. I just say this because "chasing a woman" and giving her all the power to choose you just DOESN'T WORK in the real world with women. Maybe in the movies it does. And I know that if some real and honest women are reading this they WILL agree with me on this.
OK, that was it for now.
I suggest you go over and read this post again and again until you understand it. This information can be life changing for your game and it has taken me quite some time to figure it out in the real world through trial & error with women that everything of what I say here is true with women.
In the next post I'll discuss the techniques and strategies to use on women.. that post should be coming soon.. stay tuned!
-- leedrag0n
