Socializing and Approaching II

This is a refresher for an old post of mine back from 2008.

I'd like to begin this post by shredding a few "myths" about pickup & influence first.

Alot of people focus too much on perfecting their game, and I think it's an absord! Why?

Because if you'll just open your eyes and LOOK around you at the guys who are getting results with women, you won't find anything "superior" or special in MOST of them that you don't have - they may be uglier than you, more insecured than you, less focused than you, more BORING than you, etc. And yet - THEY still GET results, while you don't!

I think this principle applies not only to women but life in general - the most successful people in their area, are NOT ALWAYS the best in their area!

In the end.. it all comes down to how well you promote yourself.

Think about it for a second.
It is highly probable that there are ALOT of women out there, right now, who REALY WANT to meet someone - even if they have a "boyfriend" already! (Who said that she is pleased with him?)

Now.. as you sit there at home trying to "perfect" your "skills", nobody even knows you exist!
And the only thing these girls actually know of.. are the guys who approach them and introduce themselves to them!!

You may think it's NOT FAIR that all these lousy guys are the only thing women know of and fuck with.. you may also think that it's not fair that alot of realy talented and gifted people in this world never get a chance.. but that's just the way LIFE is - the people who push themselves into other people's realities and are NOT AFRAID to show what they've got and are actually trying to get others interested in them = are the ones who GETS results. The others.. never get their chance for obvious reasons!

Now, let's get off the "fair/unfair" ethical discussion and talk about facts for a second.

It is a FACT that you can take a SHITTY product, promote it very well to ENOUGH people, and you WILL get buyers! In fact, the most succeeding products are also the ones that are being promoted the most!

In every area of life this is true, whether you are aware of it or not, it is simply a rule of thumb whenever it comes to sales and promoting something: The more people are exposed and become aware of a certain product or idea = the more people take it or buy it!

It just makes sense, doesn't it?
But in order to clarify my point, I'll bring you now.. what I think is the perfect example of what I mean: Windows -vs- Linux

So.. I'm a programmer and I've been using Windows for years. I heard about Linux before and even saw it many many years ago at an old friend of mine, but back at the time it seemed so difficult and hard to learn and too complicated for me.. so I prefered to stay with Windows.

Now, Windows is probably the most popular operating system in the world, and for me personally it has always been quite a default option. I had no idea that Linux exists in a graphical user-interface form (Windows' style desktop), that it is easy to install, and that it is easy to use as well. Take note of this, this is crucial - I had NO IDEA it existed!!!!!!!!

The idea of Linux wasn't even in my AWARENESS at all.. until one day.. I visited a friend of mine, and I saw his brother, who is a programmer as well, using this flashy, fast, and very well organized desktop operating system on his computer that did not look familiar to me.. At a first glance I thought it was Macintosh with MacOSX (Guess why? Maybe because Apple's MacOSX is the second most well promoted operating system in the industry after Windows??) .. so being realy curious I asked my friend's brother what is that .. and he said: It's LINUX!

At first I was quite in a shock.. because it looked way different from how i imagined Linux to be.. but then it realy got me interested and intrigued, and it got my attention so strongly that I have began asking him questions about it, and the more he revealed me his answers the more the idea of installing this system on my home computer became real.. but it was only after he told me the following two sentences that I was totally convinced that I should try it: 1. You can download the operating system for FREE , 2. You can TRY IT before you install it, directly from the CD!

Can you imagine to yourself.. such a superb operating system for FREE ??

So anyways.. I decided to download the CD and try it for myself.. and after that first time I tried it - I simply fell in love with it! (Literally) And I felt like such a moron for never knowing that it existed, and using crappy Windows instead ..

.........

Now that may have been a nice story, but it has a POINT.

I think that this was probably the perfect example to show that It's not always the BEST who brings the fruit - but the ONE who PROMOTES HIMSELF the most!!!!

Now.. think about the implications of this story on your sex life..

I mean.. you could be HUNDRED TIMES better than alot of your "competitors" out there in almost EVERY aspect! And.. it could be that you are the ideal guy for MANY women.. and yet.. THESE WOMEN DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST!

Think about it..

And BTW This is true for ANYTHING you want to sell or promote - you can have the most amazing, unbelievable piece of innovation the world has ever seen .. but if it keeps sitting at home and no one knows about it - you will NEVER = NEVER EVER GET ANY BUYERS!!!!!!!!

NEVER!

Now.. after all of the ideas that I just presented to you here, and since this post is coming to an end soon.. i'll use this opportunity to explain to you the "mechanics" of how to use everything you learned in this post to your advantage:

First, realize that when you approach a new girl - she knows NOTHING about you, NOTHING about your qualities, NOTHING about how much you could benefit her life - NOTHING AT ALL! You don't even exist in her world and all she knows of is just your physical appearance, your looks, the vibe you project, and the way you talk. THAT'S IT!

Even if she rejects you right off the bat, it still doesnt change the fact that she STILL knows NOTHING about you!! She has no ideas, yet, in her mind about you.. NOTHING!! Her reality just stayed the same as it was before you even talked to her..

Now, your job is to introduce yourself, and introduce the idea of being with you. Before you do it, both you and the idea of being with you DO NOT EXIST IN HER AWARENESS, and it is only after you present the idea to her and get her become AWARE to the fact that you exist and how much she could benefit from you, that it can become something she'd like to fulfill and try for herself.

Before you establish that, she knows NOTHING at all about you!
And yes, that also means that if you are just "fluff talking" with her she STILL knows NOTHING about you!

Think about everything I wrote here..

-- leedrag0n

OIR and Success Consciousness

Most of the PU material out there focuses around techniques and mindsets that will make you more successful or more attractive with women.

This is all good and fine and all these techniques and mindsets will work for you if you do them right, however some people may find that even though they know alot of techniques, alot of mindsets, and maybe they even have great game already, they still don't get results!

How could this be ?

Well, here's how I believe it happends, and you can feel free to leave me your comments about it below and let me know if you agree with this.. and BTW: Guys who are new to all PU concepts usualy don't have this problem, and you will soon understand why. This is an ADVANCED concept post.

So you see.. in order to master these tools, techniques and mindsets you have to sometimes suspend your expectation for results in order for you to try new stuff out. Thing is when you get used to NOT getting results with women for long periods of time, your unconscious mind slowly gets used to this condition, and you get so used to not getting results that you don't even expect them to happend, and therefore your behaviour, the actions you take, the decisions you make, and the things you can look for and notice, all become CONGRUENT with this condition of not having results.

What do I mean ?

I mean that when you get used to not getting results, it will be out of your map to look for attraction signs from her, for example. Your choice of behaviour and actions will be ones that will make it fail for you, because this is what must be done in order to stay congruent with this condition of "unsuccessness", so much that even if the girl will show you that she's attracted to you and she's even READY TO GO FOR IT RIGHT NOW, you won't see it or even think about taking action on it, because you already got used to something else!

And if you stay in this condition for too long, it will make you literally PARALISED on your ability to notice success and act on it!

Is this making sense?

I think that it is THIS "UNSUCCESS" CONDITION that is what TRUELY fucks up guys in the community, and I've heard it many times before that guys who decided to "quit" the scene and "forget everything" they learned - suddenly began getting results!

Is this coincidence, or is there something that people are missing in here ?

No, it just makes sense if you think about how the mind operates - beliefs and world views tend to affect behaviour, actions, decisions, thinking ways and what you can observe and notice unconsciously. I mean, if you got used to not getting results .. how can you notice that some girls actually WANT you??

If this is making sense to you, I guess that the question to be asked now is - So, how can we change this condition? Do we have to "forget everything" and let go completely?

I don't think so, and I'll explain - Many people have difficulties with controlling their thoughts and focus because they are not trained in meditation or never have been. Those kind of people are the obsessive thinkers, and because they CAN'T control their thinking - THEY MUST forget about all the "material" they learned and they actually MUST go and completely change their habits and the things they do on a regular basis so they could distract their mind from this obsessive thinking. This is what actually "works" for them to help them get over the "failing thinking" or "analytical thinking" that the community has forced them to start apply, and this is the only thing that realy "works" to get their mind blank and ready to ingrain new and more useful thinking ways.

However, if you are trained in meditation and focus that means that you can control your thoughts deliberately, and therefore you don't have "obsessive thinking" of any sort and you can always just re-train your mind to think in new ways.

So what you realy have to do in order to get over this condition is two things:

1. Start training your mind in visualizing success! Yep, it's that simple!

2. Change old "failure" scenarios into "success" scenarios - Just remember an old approach that didn't go anywhere, and literally rewrite it with different things you do so that it will become a success.

Now when I'm saying visualize a success - I mean visualize a scenario of you approaching the girl and she's receptive and responsive and with her you get it all the way into the bedroom and have sex. You can even refer to my last post of "how to visualize" in order to do it properly.

Do this, and you won't believe the stuff you get in return from life.

-- leedrag0n

A word about Flexibility ..

Every human being is a different person, that enjoys different things, flows with different things, and responds to different things.

Alot of advices that are given about success with women, are usually in one or another of the forms of "If you do this, she'll responds that..", or "If you use this structure, then..", etc.

This is the kind of thinking that we, as men, are champions at - serial thinking. Given any goal or outcome, we will be able to create steps to achieve it - and if you'll follow all the steps exactly in the order they are written, you'll get that goal ..

It is our blessing on one side, but also our curse on the other - because this kind of thinking is NOT USEFUL for success with women!

Why?

Because women are random - every woman is a different person that responds differently to different things. Some women will respond very good to displays of honesty and vulnerability and "sharing your thoughts" with them, while other women will not give a damn shit about it, but will instead responds VERY GOOD to displays of dominance and aggression and not giving a fuck.. other women will not respond to dominance and aggression good at all, because they feel that they want to share their thoughts with someone, and will respond very good to you just shutting your mouth and listening to them.. Some women are smart-asses and like to tease and flirt, and they will respond very strongly to being a tease and flirtatious with them .. and so on .. you get it?

This is exactly the reason why you have to develope a sense of flexibility in your game, if you REALY want to increase your game and success rates.

Now, when I'm talking about flexibility, listen: I am NOT talking about giving up your will just to please and satisfy a woman. That is NOT flexibility, that is being a pussy - and it is a big turn off for almost every woman out there!

What I'm talking about is stay strong with your will to get a result with her, but at the same time having a versatile set of choices for behaviours, vibes, and themes that you can switch between them, while at the same time staying completely focused on her so you could notice how she responds to each, paying attention to what will trigger the strongest responses in her!

This is a realy crucial, even core level understanding - because in the end what really matters in your communication with her is the responses that you get from her - is she turned on? is she turned off? does she feel connected? does she feel fascinated? aroused? etc..

Because her responses are the indicators for you to know whether you're going on track or off track, and if she's giving you strong and powerful responses that means that you're on the right track, and that probably she's ready!

Remember, there is no failure - only feedback, and you are constantly getting feedback all the time about what works and what doesn't work.

Is this making sense?

-- leedrag0n