This is going to be an advanced post on an extremely advanced topic and understanding, so I apologize in advance if anyone reading this won't understand it. I have decided to write this for myself in order to grasp on the idea and concept and to internalize it, as I am still trying to fully understand this myself because it is that important and outside the scope of everything we "know".
The "Autopilot"
We men want women. obvious fact. Women also want men. So basically we "want" each other.
So why can't we all just "act" on our natural desires? A man sees a woman.. he wants her.. he'll go talk to her.. she see's the guy.. she wants him.. why can't people just naturally hook up with ease and without difficulty?
That is because there's a big mechanism that is built inside all of us that is basically what controls us on a daily basis, and is called "The autopilot". The autopilot is simply our habitualized ways of doing things and thinking thoughts. You can call it "the comfort zone". You can call it our "habitual thoughts". You can call it "our beliefs". You can call it whatever you want and it will all be correct.
In my understanding, a successful "hook up" between a man and a woman happends usually as a result of multiple conditions that take place simultaneously, where the most obvious of those were two people who succeeded in getting over their "habits" of self-sabotaging, in order to create an opportunity for both of them. Try to think about this for a moment. In today's society, both men and women have alot of ordinary daily stuff they have to deal with. It starts from getting up in the morning, to catching the bus.. while during this time thinking about that homework from the university.. or about the task that awaits in the office.. or the interview with the big boss.. or what mother asked us to do.. and traffic jams.. while at the same time they barely even woke up properly and are still tired.. only at around 11am or 12pm they start to wake up... but they are already in the "daily routine".. they are used to work.. take maybe a coffee break.. then go with all the colleagues to the lunch break...
Now.. what happends if an opportunity suddenly presents itself infront of them? What happends if that is a woman and she now happends to "run into" a realy cute guy in the lunch break? or the bus? What usually happends in these situations is that a phone number is being exchanged at BEST.. but more than often just a casual chit-chat is going because both the guy and the women are so NOT USED to operate in a situation like this.. that they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing. And when people are not used to be doing something.. that is considered "outside" their comfort zone.. and in such situations.. the "autopilot" takes over because it is simply the easiest solution for the brain for such situations.. then they will later go back to their homes.. thinking about what just happend.. and will try to figure out what they had to do different in order to change this...
When people say, as a way to rationalize a woman that is not answering their phone calls or text messages "she probably just don't want you enough" .. or "if you realy want her, you need to keep on trying" .. both of these explanations are 2 sides of the same coin - its not true to say that "she doesn't want it enough", because she DID give you her phone number.. but she probably can't get herself to make the move and arrange a meeting.. and it could very well be not because "she doesnt want it enough".. but simply because she is not used to be doing it. its not comfortable for her. on the other hand.. why do they tell you to "keep trying"? Because this way, you will attempt in "pushing" her out of her comfort zone in order to meet with you. But then.. even once she meets you.. she won't feel "comfrotable" doing stuff yet.. and as funny as it may seem.. even for you, as a guy.. "keep trying" to set her up for meeting may be outside of your own comfort zone.. because you as a guy are used to people who respond to you quickly.. and the fact that she doesn't answer your calls or messages may get you to conclude almost automatically that she may not be interested in you.. where in fact she MIGHT.
So these are all different sides of the same issue - the "Autopilot". So we know that it exists.. how can we work our way around it? Let's examine a few cases..
Example #1: How the "autopilot" affects guys
Let's look at a well known example of how the "autopilot" affect guys when it comes to women. A guy who has to "get over" his own "autopilot" in order to even start a conversation with a woman. For some guys (including myself) this can realy be a realy simple task as simple as just going outside the door.. but for many guys this is not as easy at it seems!
I knew this one guy once, he wanted me to help him get approaching women, so we went to a mall. There was this georgous sales lady there, he wanted to talk to her. But he couldn't. He couldn't get himself to go and talk to her. Think about this for a second. This is another example of an "autopilot" in use. How did I get him to eventually go and talk to her? Well, I had to throw all sorts of idea to his mind. Ideas that would not normally come from within him at this stage. Think about that. That's exactly the point of the "autopilot", or otherwise known as an "altered state of consciousness" - when such a scenario occurs, you just respond automatically. without much thought around it. without even the ability to be able to think on spot. without pretty much any sort of real awareness even available to you at the time when it "catches" you. Now, when there's some guy like me near you, he can try to "talk some sense" into you.. or maybe show you a couple of ways to replace a bad feeling with a good one.. and maybe give you some "mindsets" that will help you do the move.
In this guy's case, I had to eventually tell him "Look, if you won't approach her, you will be sorry for it later when you get home. Do it now so you won't feel sorry later", and that convinced him to do it. Had the thought came from within him? He would probably be able to do it on his own. But the thought didn't come, I had to direct him and give him this "suggestion" that made most of the difference and made him go and talk to her (I also did some exercises with him to release the emotional tensing around the idea of going to talk to her, but he still needed that suggestion and thought in his mind to be able to go and do it).
Example #2: How the "autopilot" affects women
Let's look at another example. A good friend of mine knows this girl that tells him about her life in "the big city" and all the guys she meets there, what happends with them, etc. One time she told him how she was on the beach getting a tan, where all of a sudden some cute guy came to talk to her, and she just instinctively responded to him with "I have a BF" (which was not true, of course) as an automatic reaction. She later told him that she have no idea why she said that (implying it happend outside of her conscious awareness or even conscious choice..) because in retrospect she thought that the guy was actually very cute and she felt sorry for replying like that. That's the first example.
The next example was some guy that she was supposed to meet late at night at 11pm in a place that is very close to where she lives. She was already about to cancel this meeting because she thought it was "too late to meet".. so she spoke with my friend and my friend gave her the suggestion that it is only a drink that they meet, and that she meets with her friends at that time anyway, and that she should be spontaneous and just go for it. This is another example of a place where this thought, this idea, this suggestion was outside of her conscious awareness or choice and she had to listen to someone else (my friend, in this case) who was directing her and giving her suggestions that she couldn't thought of herself. A suggestion that eventually was exactly what she needed to meet this guy, and later to even go with him to a weekend and successfully hook up with him because he turned out to be a great guy in the end.
Can you see the similarities between all these cases, and notice the pattern already?
What happends when people run on "autopilot" or an "altered state of consciousness"?
As you can see, the pattern that returns in all the 3 examples I just showed you is what happends when people get into an "altered state of consciousness" or also known as an "autopilot" mode. Their awareness diminishes, their ability to think diminishes, and basically they become zombies that just operate without much thought. As you can see in all 3 cases, we are talking about opportunities that present themselves to people on a daily basis and they simply won't act on them because they have no idea how to get themselves to move in that direction. they need a guidance, they need directions, they need suggestions, and they need commands, because they can't and usually don't come up with such on their own.
Now, the thing that is similar in all 3 cases is that both myself and my friend are good friends with the people we were trying to "help" to. When you are a good friend with someone, you can just give them direct suggestions and even commands. Like I did with my friend in the mall, and like my friend did with this girl and the guy at 11pm. That's all good.
But when you are meeting a new girl, you are not yet in that position of someone who can just give her direct suggestions or even commands. It just doesn't "feel" right. Even if its in her own best interest, she still sees you as a stranger and she doesn't trust you enough yet in order to be able to accept your suggestions or even commands just like that.
And as I just pointed out in the last 3 examples and explanation, these suggestions and commands are neccessary. Without them, people will just go back to "autopilot" / "zombie land" and be gone from each other and return back home by themselves and feel sorry for it and ask themselves what they could have done different.
How Ericksonian language patterns come into play?
Hypnotherapy is a treatment method where patients with all sorts of disorders are given "suggestions" during a treatment session. I'm not going off-topic here, this is strongly related to our subject and you'll soon understand how. So basically in hypnotherapy, and also in psychology, subject are being given suggestions by the tharapist. In psychology, they use deep rapport to achieve this freedom of starting to plant suggestions in, whereas in hypnotherapy, they use deep trance in order to get the patient to a state where he is more "suggestible" and less resistant to suggestions.
Milton Erickson was a pioneer in the field of hypnotherapy. He was very successful at treating patients with very difficult disorders that other hypnotherapists, or even psychologists, couldn't heal.
The interesting thing about Erickson, and also revolutionizing in a way, was that he didn't use the traditional "induction of trance" upon his patients like normal hypnotherapists usually do. Instead, his approach appeared to be more like a normal meeting where they just get in a rapport and start talking, but Erickson would talk in such a way that during the course of what appears to be a normal conversation, he was embedding alot of different suggestions and even commands that eventually made a massive change in his patients.
How is this useful for us?
Well, as you can probably realize by now, people are running on autopilot. Both men and women. They do want to hook up but they don't know how to get themselves there. They need directions, guidance, and suggestions.
When we start talking to a woman, everything is fine. But then, we can't just give her the direct suggestion or command: "You should come back home with me tonight". This will be too direct, too penetrating, and too offensive at that point. Even if we wanted to give her the simple idea of "Start thinking sexual thoughts about me", it would be too direct as well. Even telling her "Imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" (and btw if a girl can imagine something.. "Everything you can imagine, is real", Pablo Picasso) would be a direct suggestion that can probably cause her to raise resistance to it. Even if she will accept it, she may think to herself "Hmm why is he saying that?", and the moment she starts to think about why you said it, it distracted her from actually following your suggestion, and gets her to the point where she may start arguing herself against it.
So we can't give direct commands and suggestions to people who are not yet good friends of us. On the otherhand, we need to give those commands and suggestions because like we said, people need guidance. Without the guidance, they just go back to the "autopilot" land that doesn't serve them. So this is where embedded commands, embedded suggestions and even embedded questions come into play.
These tools are ways that we can take commands and suggestions that we want to give to some girl, and "embed" them in an indirect way, in such a way that they will be accepted by the other person.
For example: if we wanted to command her to "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us", you could embed it with a sentence like: "My friend told me that she told her friend: what would happend if you were to imagine that there's an amazing connection between us and all that's left for us to do, is just act as if its true already?" , you are basically telling her a story. The story you are telling is about what your friend told her friend. Your story is the "trojan horse", in a way, a vehicle you use to embed commands and suggestions that you want to direct her mind in, in an embedded way.
What do these embedded commands, suggestions, and questions achieve?
Remember what I told you in the 3 examples with my friends about the "zombie" state / "autopilot" mode where people's conscious awareness diminishes, their ability to think on their feet eliminates.. and how a "voice from the outside" could usually get them to realize things / do things / interpret things in a different way? Well, in a sense, that's what the embedded commands, suggestions and questions are supposed to do.
They serve as a guiding tool, and in order for them to realy penetrate into the person's conscious awareness they have to be delivered in a different tone of speech so that the unconscious mind will "pick" them up.
You might even say that, in a way, whenever you are approaching a stranger and start a conversation with them, they are already in an altered state of consciousness where they are not always even ready for your initial sentence. Their mind is already distracted and they are not even paying attention consciously to what you're saying, which means that basically it is their unconscious mind that is listening to your sentence, but anyways.. if you want the unconscious to respond you have to mark out the commands and suggestions.
Let's go back to the "image there's an amazing connection between us" example
OK, the last example that I gave was the example where I was embedding the command "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" in your conversation. I want to start with this because this is basically a command that is more than likely to be accepted, and is also a great example to start with.
Basically, everyone have an imagination, especially women. When you tell a person to imagine something, this is a command that is almost very unlikely to not be accepted because you're not realy telling the person to do anything, just to imagine. But the interesting thing about the imagination, is that if a person can imagine something - its very likely that it will become real for him.
Every woman can accept the command to "imagine" as if you and her already have an amazing connection. The imagination is actually very powerful. It is so powerful, infact, that when a person starts to imagine something, it overrides his currenty reality so powerfully to the point where he can actually starts to believe that its infact true. And that's the thing that normally happends with little children. Little children do not yet have that "safe guard" mechanism that allows them to know whats real and whats not, so for a little kid - you are his best friend if he decides that. Which probably explains why when people are kids they can make friendships more easily than when they are adults!
But anyway, back to our subject. If you can successfully embed the command of "imagine that we are best friends already" into a woman, then she will start to not only behave, but also probably at some level believe that you 2 are best friends indeed. This type of a suggestion, speeds up the seduction process dramatically.
You want the unconscious to get this command and act on it. Remember, people can be hypnotized. You may not always be able to get them into trance in order to give them these suggestions and commands, but Erickson didn't do it either, yet he found a way to plant those suggestions and commands directly to the unconscious.
How do we get "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions into our normal, day to day conversations?
We are reaching the end of this post, and before we conclude it there are 2 final questions that come to mind: the first one is the question of this topic, and the second one has to do with does it realy work? Let's start with the first one.
I hope that I got you realizing through this post that people do have desires they wanted to fulfill but they are running on "autopilot" that usually just self sabotages them and give them realy no choice, guidance or solutions.
I also got you realizing that when people are in such a state, their ability to think deminishes to almost not exist, and they do need some kind of "external" guidance, suggestion, and interpretation.
This is the point where friends help each other, and where our "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions, which are neccessary (because we can't just walk up directly to people and give them direct commands) for us in order to guide the women that we are meeting on what to do - how to think, interpret, feel and act with us, by directing her unconscious awareness.
As you could probably see from my examples, we "embed" a command in an indirect way by using a "trojan horse", so let's discuss that for a moment.
The term "trojan horse" is basically based on the old greek mythology story about how the greeks invaded the town of Troy which its walls were unpenetrable. Late at night the people of Troy were celebrating, and the greeks appealed to their ego because the trojans were known for their love of horses.. so they have built a giant "wooden horse" that they presented as a gift for them. The trojans accepted the gift, and brought it into the center of their town. Inside this horse were greek soldiers, so late at night when the trojans were celebrating and drunks, the greek soldiers got out of the horse and that was the end of the battle and the greeks took over Troy.
So, basically when it comes to women - our "trojan horse" is stories. Or, it can also be other types of format, like a question, a joke, or a quiz. Basically, it is our distraction tool. Just like the old "trojan horse" was a distraction for the people of Troy. Women are basically hard-wired to listen to and share stories. This is how they talk between themselves. They "share" their stories amongst each other. So when you are sharing a story with a women, you are actually talking to her in the language she understands and is used to.
However, I won't lie to you - this does require that you start to change the way you talk. If up until today you were used to just talk without a direction in mind, in order to be able to start to embed commands, suggestions and other stuff, you will have to start to consciously pay attention to what you're about to say and to actually start to think in terms of embedding commands, suggestions, and questions.
And the only way this can be exercised, is by visualizing yourself in all sorts of different situations, and just trying to stop and try to start thinking in terms of "what thoughts do I want her to think? what feelings do I want her to feel? what suggestion do I want to give her?" and then think of commands and suggestions that will do it, and then finally think of a way to embed them inside some kind of a distraction, or "trojan horse".
Let's try an example together.
Let's say we want a woman to imagine as if we are best friends already. The situation is an isle at a supermarket. How can we do it?
Well, first we need to get some kind of an initial rapport and conversation going. You can't just walk up to stranger and start sharing stories with him, as that will look a bit wierd and creepy, although you may be surprised to know that between women this is actually considered a normal thing. But anyways, we do need to create what's called a "conversational framework" by slowly and gradually conditioning the person to talk to us.
When we first start talking to a woman in a supermarket, we will most likely "break the ice" with some pre-opener of sorts. Maybe ask her if she knows about where this or that product is, and/or maybe ask her if we can reach for some shelf. Then we may throw some situational comment or observation.. this is all designed to see how she responds (remember "screening" from previous articles?). If she responds well, we can then move on to something that is more specific to a supermarket situation - like talking with her about how to do some dish, like Pasta or something. this can open a conversation going. Then, and only then you can try something like this to embed this command: "I remember watching this show on TV once, there was this big chef lady being interviewed, so the reporter told her: "What if you could imagine that we are best friends already.. and I'm coming home for dinner at your place.. how differently will it affect your dishes?"".
See how we did it?
That's an example of things that we can prepare at home, before we go out, that will contain those messages inside them.
Sometimes you can even embed a suggestion inside a question - "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?". In this example, we embed the suggestion "there's something here" which is vague. There's something where? in the supermarket? or between her and me? See?
Final question - will this realy work?
So now we came to the end of this post, and we have one final question left to answer.. which is "will this realy work?", which i'll try to answer and explain here.
First we have to accept a fact on the unconscious mind and that is that the unconscious mind catches everything. Even the things that you are not currently aware of.. in fact, there have been numerous studies that suggest that any activity and action that you do - are a result of unconscious processes that took place seconds if not minutes before you actually have taken the action.
So when you are saying the sentence "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?" and you emphasize the suggestion and do a slight head nod .. or even without the head nod, just mark the suggestion in a different tone than the rest of the sentence.. the conscious mind may not always catch it, but the unconscious mind will catch it most definitely.
Another thing is how the processes of Mirroring and Anchoring occur. They occur outside of conscious awareness, and they are being caught by the unconscious mind. When you are intuitively feeling more safe and trust towards a person, it is most of the times because that person posseses things that are similar to yourself whether in the mood, state, or body language. The unconscious catches that all.
Same goes for anchoring.. or how a specific "feeling" triggers a thought process in your mind without you knowing why.
And also in my own real word experiments, I have witnessed this work and it does work almost in a magical way. Remember, you are directing unconscious processes with these tools, this is very powerful.
I hope this concludes this post well.
The "Autopilot"
We men want women. obvious fact. Women also want men. So basically we "want" each other.
So why can't we all just "act" on our natural desires? A man sees a woman.. he wants her.. he'll go talk to her.. she see's the guy.. she wants him.. why can't people just naturally hook up with ease and without difficulty?
That is because there's a big mechanism that is built inside all of us that is basically what controls us on a daily basis, and is called "The autopilot". The autopilot is simply our habitualized ways of doing things and thinking thoughts. You can call it "the comfort zone". You can call it our "habitual thoughts". You can call it "our beliefs". You can call it whatever you want and it will all be correct.
In my understanding, a successful "hook up" between a man and a woman happends usually as a result of multiple conditions that take place simultaneously, where the most obvious of those were two people who succeeded in getting over their "habits" of self-sabotaging, in order to create an opportunity for both of them. Try to think about this for a moment. In today's society, both men and women have alot of ordinary daily stuff they have to deal with. It starts from getting up in the morning, to catching the bus.. while during this time thinking about that homework from the university.. or about the task that awaits in the office.. or the interview with the big boss.. or what mother asked us to do.. and traffic jams.. while at the same time they barely even woke up properly and are still tired.. only at around 11am or 12pm they start to wake up... but they are already in the "daily routine".. they are used to work.. take maybe a coffee break.. then go with all the colleagues to the lunch break...
Now.. what happends if an opportunity suddenly presents itself infront of them? What happends if that is a woman and she now happends to "run into" a realy cute guy in the lunch break? or the bus? What usually happends in these situations is that a phone number is being exchanged at BEST.. but more than often just a casual chit-chat is going because both the guy and the women are so NOT USED to operate in a situation like this.. that they have no idea what they are supposed to be doing. And when people are not used to be doing something.. that is considered "outside" their comfort zone.. and in such situations.. the "autopilot" takes over because it is simply the easiest solution for the brain for such situations.. then they will later go back to their homes.. thinking about what just happend.. and will try to figure out what they had to do different in order to change this...
When people say, as a way to rationalize a woman that is not answering their phone calls or text messages "she probably just don't want you enough" .. or "if you realy want her, you need to keep on trying" .. both of these explanations are 2 sides of the same coin - its not true to say that "she doesn't want it enough", because she DID give you her phone number.. but she probably can't get herself to make the move and arrange a meeting.. and it could very well be not because "she doesnt want it enough".. but simply because she is not used to be doing it. its not comfortable for her. on the other hand.. why do they tell you to "keep trying"? Because this way, you will attempt in "pushing" her out of her comfort zone in order to meet with you. But then.. even once she meets you.. she won't feel "comfrotable" doing stuff yet.. and as funny as it may seem.. even for you, as a guy.. "keep trying" to set her up for meeting may be outside of your own comfort zone.. because you as a guy are used to people who respond to you quickly.. and the fact that she doesn't answer your calls or messages may get you to conclude almost automatically that she may not be interested in you.. where in fact she MIGHT.
So these are all different sides of the same issue - the "Autopilot". So we know that it exists.. how can we work our way around it? Let's examine a few cases..
Example #1: How the "autopilot" affects guys
Let's look at a well known example of how the "autopilot" affect guys when it comes to women. A guy who has to "get over" his own "autopilot" in order to even start a conversation with a woman. For some guys (including myself) this can realy be a realy simple task as simple as just going outside the door.. but for many guys this is not as easy at it seems!
I knew this one guy once, he wanted me to help him get approaching women, so we went to a mall. There was this georgous sales lady there, he wanted to talk to her. But he couldn't. He couldn't get himself to go and talk to her. Think about this for a second. This is another example of an "autopilot" in use. How did I get him to eventually go and talk to her? Well, I had to throw all sorts of idea to his mind. Ideas that would not normally come from within him at this stage. Think about that. That's exactly the point of the "autopilot", or otherwise known as an "altered state of consciousness" - when such a scenario occurs, you just respond automatically. without much thought around it. without even the ability to be able to think on spot. without pretty much any sort of real awareness even available to you at the time when it "catches" you. Now, when there's some guy like me near you, he can try to "talk some sense" into you.. or maybe show you a couple of ways to replace a bad feeling with a good one.. and maybe give you some "mindsets" that will help you do the move.
In this guy's case, I had to eventually tell him "Look, if you won't approach her, you will be sorry for it later when you get home. Do it now so you won't feel sorry later", and that convinced him to do it. Had the thought came from within him? He would probably be able to do it on his own. But the thought didn't come, I had to direct him and give him this "suggestion" that made most of the difference and made him go and talk to her (I also did some exercises with him to release the emotional tensing around the idea of going to talk to her, but he still needed that suggestion and thought in his mind to be able to go and do it).
Example #2: How the "autopilot" affects women
Let's look at another example. A good friend of mine knows this girl that tells him about her life in "the big city" and all the guys she meets there, what happends with them, etc. One time she told him how she was on the beach getting a tan, where all of a sudden some cute guy came to talk to her, and she just instinctively responded to him with "I have a BF" (which was not true, of course) as an automatic reaction. She later told him that she have no idea why she said that (implying it happend outside of her conscious awareness or even conscious choice..) because in retrospect she thought that the guy was actually very cute and she felt sorry for replying like that. That's the first example.
The next example was some guy that she was supposed to meet late at night at 11pm in a place that is very close to where she lives. She was already about to cancel this meeting because she thought it was "too late to meet".. so she spoke with my friend and my friend gave her the suggestion that it is only a drink that they meet, and that she meets with her friends at that time anyway, and that she should be spontaneous and just go for it. This is another example of a place where this thought, this idea, this suggestion was outside of her conscious awareness or choice and she had to listen to someone else (my friend, in this case) who was directing her and giving her suggestions that she couldn't thought of herself. A suggestion that eventually was exactly what she needed to meet this guy, and later to even go with him to a weekend and successfully hook up with him because he turned out to be a great guy in the end.
Can you see the similarities between all these cases, and notice the pattern already?
What happends when people run on "autopilot" or an "altered state of consciousness"?
As you can see, the pattern that returns in all the 3 examples I just showed you is what happends when people get into an "altered state of consciousness" or also known as an "autopilot" mode. Their awareness diminishes, their ability to think diminishes, and basically they become zombies that just operate without much thought. As you can see in all 3 cases, we are talking about opportunities that present themselves to people on a daily basis and they simply won't act on them because they have no idea how to get themselves to move in that direction. they need a guidance, they need directions, they need suggestions, and they need commands, because they can't and usually don't come up with such on their own.
Now, the thing that is similar in all 3 cases is that both myself and my friend are good friends with the people we were trying to "help" to. When you are a good friend with someone, you can just give them direct suggestions and even commands. Like I did with my friend in the mall, and like my friend did with this girl and the guy at 11pm. That's all good.
But when you are meeting a new girl, you are not yet in that position of someone who can just give her direct suggestions or even commands. It just doesn't "feel" right. Even if its in her own best interest, she still sees you as a stranger and she doesn't trust you enough yet in order to be able to accept your suggestions or even commands just like that.
And as I just pointed out in the last 3 examples and explanation, these suggestions and commands are neccessary. Without them, people will just go back to "autopilot" / "zombie land" and be gone from each other and return back home by themselves and feel sorry for it and ask themselves what they could have done different.
How Ericksonian language patterns come into play?
Hypnotherapy is a treatment method where patients with all sorts of disorders are given "suggestions" during a treatment session. I'm not going off-topic here, this is strongly related to our subject and you'll soon understand how. So basically in hypnotherapy, and also in psychology, subject are being given suggestions by the tharapist. In psychology, they use deep rapport to achieve this freedom of starting to plant suggestions in, whereas in hypnotherapy, they use deep trance in order to get the patient to a state where he is more "suggestible" and less resistant to suggestions.
Milton Erickson was a pioneer in the field of hypnotherapy. He was very successful at treating patients with very difficult disorders that other hypnotherapists, or even psychologists, couldn't heal.
The interesting thing about Erickson, and also revolutionizing in a way, was that he didn't use the traditional "induction of trance" upon his patients like normal hypnotherapists usually do. Instead, his approach appeared to be more like a normal meeting where they just get in a rapport and start talking, but Erickson would talk in such a way that during the course of what appears to be a normal conversation, he was embedding alot of different suggestions and even commands that eventually made a massive change in his patients.
How is this useful for us?
Well, as you can probably realize by now, people are running on autopilot. Both men and women. They do want to hook up but they don't know how to get themselves there. They need directions, guidance, and suggestions.
When we start talking to a woman, everything is fine. But then, we can't just give her the direct suggestion or command: "You should come back home with me tonight". This will be too direct, too penetrating, and too offensive at that point. Even if we wanted to give her the simple idea of "Start thinking sexual thoughts about me", it would be too direct as well. Even telling her "Imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" (and btw if a girl can imagine something.. "Everything you can imagine, is real", Pablo Picasso) would be a direct suggestion that can probably cause her to raise resistance to it. Even if she will accept it, she may think to herself "Hmm why is he saying that?", and the moment she starts to think about why you said it, it distracted her from actually following your suggestion, and gets her to the point where she may start arguing herself against it.
So we can't give direct commands and suggestions to people who are not yet good friends of us. On the otherhand, we need to give those commands and suggestions because like we said, people need guidance. Without the guidance, they just go back to the "autopilot" land that doesn't serve them. So this is where embedded commands, embedded suggestions and even embedded questions come into play.
These tools are ways that we can take commands and suggestions that we want to give to some girl, and "embed" them in an indirect way, in such a way that they will be accepted by the other person.
For example: if we wanted to command her to "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us", you could embed it with a sentence like: "My friend told me that she told her friend: what would happend if you were to imagine that there's an amazing connection between us and all that's left for us to do, is just act as if its true already?" , you are basically telling her a story. The story you are telling is about what your friend told her friend. Your story is the "trojan horse", in a way, a vehicle you use to embed commands and suggestions that you want to direct her mind in, in an embedded way.
What do these embedded commands, suggestions, and questions achieve?
Remember what I told you in the 3 examples with my friends about the "zombie" state / "autopilot" mode where people's conscious awareness diminishes, their ability to think on their feet eliminates.. and how a "voice from the outside" could usually get them to realize things / do things / interpret things in a different way? Well, in a sense, that's what the embedded commands, suggestions and questions are supposed to do.
They serve as a guiding tool, and in order for them to realy penetrate into the person's conscious awareness they have to be delivered in a different tone of speech so that the unconscious mind will "pick" them up.
You might even say that, in a way, whenever you are approaching a stranger and start a conversation with them, they are already in an altered state of consciousness where they are not always even ready for your initial sentence. Their mind is already distracted and they are not even paying attention consciously to what you're saying, which means that basically it is their unconscious mind that is listening to your sentence, but anyways.. if you want the unconscious to respond you have to mark out the commands and suggestions.
Let's go back to the "image there's an amazing connection between us" example
OK, the last example that I gave was the example where I was embedding the command "imagine that there's an amazing connection between us already" in your conversation. I want to start with this because this is basically a command that is more than likely to be accepted, and is also a great example to start with.
Basically, everyone have an imagination, especially women. When you tell a person to imagine something, this is a command that is almost very unlikely to not be accepted because you're not realy telling the person to do anything, just to imagine. But the interesting thing about the imagination, is that if a person can imagine something - its very likely that it will become real for him.
Every woman can accept the command to "imagine" as if you and her already have an amazing connection. The imagination is actually very powerful. It is so powerful, infact, that when a person starts to imagine something, it overrides his currenty reality so powerfully to the point where he can actually starts to believe that its infact true. And that's the thing that normally happends with little children. Little children do not yet have that "safe guard" mechanism that allows them to know whats real and whats not, so for a little kid - you are his best friend if he decides that. Which probably explains why when people are kids they can make friendships more easily than when they are adults!
But anyway, back to our subject. If you can successfully embed the command of "imagine that we are best friends already" into a woman, then she will start to not only behave, but also probably at some level believe that you 2 are best friends indeed. This type of a suggestion, speeds up the seduction process dramatically.
You want the unconscious to get this command and act on it. Remember, people can be hypnotized. You may not always be able to get them into trance in order to give them these suggestions and commands, but Erickson didn't do it either, yet he found a way to plant those suggestions and commands directly to the unconscious.
How do we get "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions into our normal, day to day conversations?
We are reaching the end of this post, and before we conclude it there are 2 final questions that come to mind: the first one is the question of this topic, and the second one has to do with does it realy work? Let's start with the first one.
I hope that I got you realizing through this post that people do have desires they wanted to fulfill but they are running on "autopilot" that usually just self sabotages them and give them realy no choice, guidance or solutions.
I also got you realizing that when people are in such a state, their ability to think deminishes to almost not exist, and they do need some kind of "external" guidance, suggestion, and interpretation.
This is the point where friends help each other, and where our "embedded" commands, suggestions and questions, which are neccessary (because we can't just walk up directly to people and give them direct commands) for us in order to guide the women that we are meeting on what to do - how to think, interpret, feel and act with us, by directing her unconscious awareness.
As you could probably see from my examples, we "embed" a command in an indirect way by using a "trojan horse", so let's discuss that for a moment.
The term "trojan horse" is basically based on the old greek mythology story about how the greeks invaded the town of Troy which its walls were unpenetrable. Late at night the people of Troy were celebrating, and the greeks appealed to their ego because the trojans were known for their love of horses.. so they have built a giant "wooden horse" that they presented as a gift for them. The trojans accepted the gift, and brought it into the center of their town. Inside this horse were greek soldiers, so late at night when the trojans were celebrating and drunks, the greek soldiers got out of the horse and that was the end of the battle and the greeks took over Troy.
So, basically when it comes to women - our "trojan horse" is stories. Or, it can also be other types of format, like a question, a joke, or a quiz. Basically, it is our distraction tool. Just like the old "trojan horse" was a distraction for the people of Troy. Women are basically hard-wired to listen to and share stories. This is how they talk between themselves. They "share" their stories amongst each other. So when you are sharing a story with a women, you are actually talking to her in the language she understands and is used to.
However, I won't lie to you - this does require that you start to change the way you talk. If up until today you were used to just talk without a direction in mind, in order to be able to start to embed commands, suggestions and other stuff, you will have to start to consciously pay attention to what you're about to say and to actually start to think in terms of embedding commands, suggestions, and questions.
And the only way this can be exercised, is by visualizing yourself in all sorts of different situations, and just trying to stop and try to start thinking in terms of "what thoughts do I want her to think? what feelings do I want her to feel? what suggestion do I want to give her?" and then think of commands and suggestions that will do it, and then finally think of a way to embed them inside some kind of a distraction, or "trojan horse".
Let's try an example together.
Let's say we want a woman to imagine as if we are best friends already. The situation is an isle at a supermarket. How can we do it?
Well, first we need to get some kind of an initial rapport and conversation going. You can't just walk up to stranger and start sharing stories with him, as that will look a bit wierd and creepy, although you may be surprised to know that between women this is actually considered a normal thing. But anyways, we do need to create what's called a "conversational framework" by slowly and gradually conditioning the person to talk to us.
When we first start talking to a woman in a supermarket, we will most likely "break the ice" with some pre-opener of sorts. Maybe ask her if she knows about where this or that product is, and/or maybe ask her if we can reach for some shelf. Then we may throw some situational comment or observation.. this is all designed to see how she responds (remember "screening" from previous articles?). If she responds well, we can then move on to something that is more specific to a supermarket situation - like talking with her about how to do some dish, like Pasta or something. this can open a conversation going. Then, and only then you can try something like this to embed this command: "I remember watching this show on TV once, there was this big chef lady being interviewed, so the reporter told her: "What if you could imagine that we are best friends already.. and I'm coming home for dinner at your place.. how differently will it affect your dishes?"".
See how we did it?
That's an example of things that we can prepare at home, before we go out, that will contain those messages inside them.
Sometimes you can even embed a suggestion inside a question - "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?". In this example, we embed the suggestion "there's something here" which is vague. There's something where? in the supermarket? or between her and me? See?
Final question - will this realy work?
So now we came to the end of this post, and we have one final question left to answer.. which is "will this realy work?", which i'll try to answer and explain here.
First we have to accept a fact on the unconscious mind and that is that the unconscious mind catches everything. Even the things that you are not currently aware of.. in fact, there have been numerous studies that suggest that any activity and action that you do - are a result of unconscious processes that took place seconds if not minutes before you actually have taken the action.
So when you are saying the sentence "Do you know if there's something here with baking soda in it?" and you emphasize the suggestion and do a slight head nod .. or even without the head nod, just mark the suggestion in a different tone than the rest of the sentence.. the conscious mind may not always catch it, but the unconscious mind will catch it most definitely.
Another thing is how the processes of Mirroring and Anchoring occur. They occur outside of conscious awareness, and they are being caught by the unconscious mind. When you are intuitively feeling more safe and trust towards a person, it is most of the times because that person posseses things that are similar to yourself whether in the mood, state, or body language. The unconscious catches that all.
Same goes for anchoring.. or how a specific "feeling" triggers a thought process in your mind without you knowing why.
And also in my own real word experiments, I have witnessed this work and it does work almost in a magical way. Remember, you are directing unconscious processes with these tools, this is very powerful.
I hope this concludes this post well.
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