Ego & Insecurities

Have you ever noticed of this self-destroying mechanism inside your mind called "EGO" ?

Yeah this autopilot emotional system designed to "save" you from any embarrassing, humiliating or even damaging social reactions from others ?

Notice for a second the last thing i said above ... "autopilot emotional system designed to keep you safe from harsh social reactions".

Alot of this has been in your mind since age 4 already, and in general its not really a bad thing to have this mechanism !

You WILL get caught by the police and maybe even sent to jail if you suddenly decided to go out naked tommorow to your local mall to do shoppings or even approach women LOL.

So gotta give a credit to it though - this "EGO" mechanism is actually there to not only protect you but to also GUIDE you at which way is right way to go.

However, the real problem begins when this mechanism becomes too strong, or over the normal limits. Imagine to yourself for a second that the real purpose of the EGO mechanism was to create a transparent glass bubble shell over each individual. The person has this bubble in which inside of it he's protected and assured his security YET he can still see things through it, talk to people and even do everyday normal activities, he may still get hurt every here and there but overall he has basic protection.

The problem begins when ABOVE the normal transparent shell the mechanism created another huge dark plastic bubble shell. So now the person has TWO SHELLS - the basic transparent one, and another untransparent shell above it. This now gives the person what i call "over-protection". Sure, no way he's gonna get hurt this way, but he's also going to miss alot of life because he can't really be able to even SEE anything now, since he's over protected.

....

In order to have a hot girlfriend, maybe even have the ability to date hot women here and then, hell even have a CHANCE at them by taking their phone numbers even, whatever - In other words to have any chance with any woman of YOUR desire, you will have to make a choice between taking the red pill (Letting go of your "EGO" completely, and be prepared and ready to get alot of "rejections" or harsh social reactions from people) and take your "shell" completely off and be exposed to social harshness, or take the blue pill - go back to your bed and keep living life under your protective shells and make no moves, initiate nothing, and in return - you'll get NOTHING.

How can i say so ?

Because many of the "protective" EGO autopilots are not really in your favor here.
According to your "EGO", the "right" place to meet women is in work, school, or social circles.
The "right" way to meet women is to be introduced to them by someone you both know (A girl or a guy, whatever) , and even then you STILL have to initiate some moves, initiate a phone numbers exchange, initiate a date etc, etc. Yeah, it is "safer" and more protective, but then you are dependent on "luck" or others ... and ... are the girls you meet in these meetings really are YOUR types ?

Have you ever felt stuck by an inability to go and talk to a woman YOU desire and just couldn't figure out WHY it happends like this ? I've got news for you - It WAS your "EGO" that has blocked you - your autopilot emotional system created to protect you from harsh social reactions. Great at protecting you from illusional social "pain", great also at keeping the women of your desires away from your reach. Am i the only one smelling a hidden "formula" for success here ? ;-)

Back to the basics : Society first have teached women that it is men's job to initiate the meeting.
Then it was every girl's life experiences that taught her this - The HOTTER the girl was, the more guys were approaching her / being introduced to, hence - the LESS desire she had to actually go and initiate moves by herself. Why should she ? She's good looking, yeah she may see a guy she really likes who makes no move and be disappointed by it, but she'll keep on living and she knows the other day she may still meet someone.

So you see, i just got you realizing here that this "EGO" you have, which is a great thing really as it keeps society as a well structured world of human beings, can really be a damaging thing when it comes to meeting people, and ESPECIALLY meeting women of your choice.

So what can we do here ?

A couple of important realizations.

First, wake up and realize it is OK for you to try and initiate an introduction / meeting with a woman of your choice. Other people (especially guys who are after her) may not like it, but she WILL LOVE it !!! Even if she has no guts to show it right now, Even if you really weren't her type, Even if she really wasn't prepared for it - she WILL go home and think about it in a positive light.

Second point here, important one - you have to let go of the "EGO", once again mentioned.
Sometimes you will run into strange and wierd reactions, sometimes women will be standoffish on you, sometimes women will even try to HURT you and humiliate you when your original goal was to actually get them PLEASED. All those things your "EGO" mechanism was designed to protect you from. You cant predict these reactions, but you also can't escape them or you will be back to square one and not meeting women of your desire again. A BIG thing here is to realize that these reactions are nothing personal on YOU - They are just emotional autopilot responses these women throw out, not on purpose !! Sometimes the woman is in a hurry, other times the woman is married and stuck on the guy 100%, other times the woman simply is in a bad or even depressed mood, some women even have social fears of strangers. NOTHING personal. drop the ego. you'll have to be willing to go through such reactions in order to have ANY chance of getting women of your desire, as mentioned above.

And final point number Three - These reactions will NOT kill you !
Yep, even if it was the worst rejection in the world you will walk out of there still alive, it may feel a bit harsh but it is just a feeling, and that is natural. emotions have a tendency to be transmitted from one person to another, so if she responded harshly to YOUR flattering approach, chances are that at some point in time some other guy responded exactly the same on HER, so now that you came she has a chance to transmit it to you. Again, nothing personal.
Humans are excessively stupid animals when it comes to emotions, as i already explained before.
At the end of the day its just a temporary emotion being transmitted to you by a girl, it doesnt say anything on who you are as a person because SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU !

and with those you are now ready to let go of your ego and start enjoying life more.


A Word about insecurities

So the "ego" was the autopilot emotional system to protect you from harsh social reactions.
We now understand its bullshit and letting it go is the best choice you can ever make towards meeting the women of your desires.

Lets talk abit about insecurities.

Insecurities are another part of the "Ego" mechanism you have to let go of - the part trying to protect you from harsh social reactions towards qualities that exists inside of you.

If it ever happend to you in the past that people used to make fun of your moves, your speech, your qualities, hobbies, dreams or even goals, your ego mechanism will be there for the rescue of course by providing you protection from harsh social reactions to your inner abilities and sense of being.

And we all know this can be quite annoying at times really.

So what can be done here in order to let it all go ?

Couple of realizations again :

1. Yes you may not be an ideal person, but you are who you are and you need to appreciate it. Nobody can ever be ideal, every human being have his own faults. Those who haven't yet internalized it are real morons, and those who laugh at other's faults are real losers.

2. You can't ever become someone you are not really mentally, so don't even try to act in other ways that ain't who you genuinely are just because someone said that you "aren't masculine enough" or that you "aren't tall enough". Yeah of course things CAN be done in order to improve aspects in your life but don't ever try to adopt a behaviour that just isn't you. So if someone told you that you aren't good enough, unless it is a good friend who knows you really well - FUCK THEM. Nobody knows you the way you REALLY are.

3. Go over the "Confidence" post again and answer the question there to yourself.

4. Be genuine. The second biggest compliment you can give a woman other than the initial approach is to come and present yourself as who you genuinely really are. Honesty and authenticity are probably the two most attractive qualities you can ever present to her as a man. Forget about the bullshit "player" illusion. Being a player means knowing how to use emotions as a play tools to direct her attention and feeling, nothing else. It certainely isn't being a fake guy.

--leedrag0n