Your State Issues Clarified!

Hey guys!

It has been a month since I wrote here, but I'm here again :-)

First I want to update you guys that I will be recording some more video tutorial modules soon, so if you liked the last ones I did (and I have got very good reviews on my rapport & chemistry video, Thanks guys!) then you can expect those coming soon.

But today I'm here with yet another very interesting state related post.
Actually, what I'm about to share with you today is going to blow your mind away. Literally!

Because after you'll finish reading this post, you will be dazzled and blown away about just how much you have been brainwashed about "confidence" your whole life. In fact, you may (hopefully) forget anything you ever thought you know about "confidence"!

Because you see.. everything you ever learned about "lack of confidence" or "low self esteem" was WRONG. There are no such concepts. We have been told LIES!

And now.. I'm going to reveal those lies to you, in this post, so you will begin to see the matrix for yourself.. and realize just how deep the rabbit hole really goes....


Part 1: Once upon a time there was a boy ...

.. and ever since he was a little kid he had things and activies that he LIKED and ENJOYED doing and things that he DISLIKED or HATED doing. Over the years the kid became really good at doing the things that he LIKED to do ... and he also became really good at avoiding doing the things that he DIDN'T LIKE to do ... so whenever he was supposed to do that activity or something that he didn't like to do ... he would learn to make a list of excuses to avoid doing it ... but that list was a result of the way he FELT about doing that activity! So... over the years he became VERY GOOD at making those excuses ... but did he know what creates it?

OK.. back here with me folks, I guess you can all relate to that story, right? :-)
I can already hear some of you reading this saying : "Oh yeah here's that preach again about me making excuses... I HEARD THAT ALREADY ... So what's the point?" ...

I'll tell you: MOST of your state issues that are related to women are subject of procrastination, or: trying to avoid something that you simply don't want to do!

YEP, that's what is REALLY is!

There is NO SUCH THING as "Fear of approach".
There is NO SUCH THING as "Low Self Esteem".
There is NO SUCH THING as "Lack of confidence".
And hell there is NO SUCH THING as "Loss of hope".

All of those things are just our own, WRONG TRANSLATIONS, to a generally simple neurological state of mind: a state of mind where TWO OPPOSITE DESIRES CONFLICT =

1. Your logical desire - what you KNOW on a logical level that you want, for example: "I want to approach this woman", or "I want to go out to sarge" or "I want to rehearse my tonality" or hell even "I want to clean my room!" ...

-- CONFLICTING WITH: --

2. The emotional state that is associated with doing this activity - what your SUBCONSCIOUS mind is telling you that it thinks about doing this, which is often the opposite of your logical desire, for example: "I don't want to approach this woman", or "I don't want to go out to sarge" or "I don't want to rehease my tonality" or "I don't want to clean my room".


How does this translates to the states of mind that you THINK you're experiencing? Well .. lets go deeper down the rabbit hole so you'll find out ...



Part 2: The psychologist say that I have a "Low self esteem"...

BULLSHIT!

LISTEN: Procrastination is a genuine human emotion. You've learned to do it ever since you were a little kid. It's part of the survival mechanism every human being inherited - it's the emotional "alarm" system that pushes you towards things that feel good, and pushes you away from things that may have unpleasant feelings associated with them.

Even if you logically KNOW that you have to go out to meet women, if your mind thinks different you're in a problem. And then what happends .. is that you PUSH yourself to go out ... but the feeling of "not wanting to do it" is still there. And then you carry that feeling with you to the field!

What does this result in? What everyone calls "bad state". You can't figure it out, and people start labelling it under many different names .. "Fear of approaching women", "Low self esteem", "Lack of confidence".. etc..

It's all just BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT and BULLSHIT!

It's all just YET another one of those human attempts to try and make sense of an emotional state of mind (or rationalize) of conflict between your emotional drive ("I don't want to be here") to your logical desire ("I want and I need to do this!")

Now.. here's my OWN story of how I concluded this...



Part 3: Once upon a time there was ME..

.. and I have always been quite a procrastinator on things that I didn't like to do, whether it's cleaning my house.. or taking the car to fix it.. and sometimes even to go and buy food in the supermarket!

And for the last 6 months or so I have been puzzled by a riddle that I couldn't yet find an answer to regarding my self: Why is my state of mind so unstable around women when I'm out there alone by myself ... -vs- ... my state being VERY stable when I'm out there with someone??

At first I thought it was something about my "Low self esteem", so I took a paper, wrote a bunch of positive beliefs about myself.. reaffirmed them for a while... FELT GREAT.. and then I went out to the field with it... it worked quite ok for a while but after a while I was back to my instability...

OK, next shot: I learned a bunch of NLP techniques for state design. I gave it a try as well! It also worked quite well for a while.. but after a while the instability came back..

OK, next thing I learned was stuff taken from vipassana meditation (equanimity, grounding etc). Worked well for a while but required alot of work.. and .. in the end you know what happend...

So .. I was really puzzled by this for quite a while. But then one day I really wondered... "Why isn't this happening to me when I'm with my friends?????".

I began studying, and exploring, and trying to understand the differences between how I behave when I'm with my friends -vs- how I behave when I'm without them. And I realized this:

1. If I can easily approach women when I'm around with my friends, it means that I DO NOT have any "Fear of approach"!
2. If I feel very good about myself when I'm around with friends, it means that I have NO PROBLEMS with my "Self Esteem"!
3. If I feel quite confident in myself when I'm around with friends, it means that I have confidence in myself!

So if I have all of those when I'm out there with SOMEONE... Then how come they all disappear when they are not around me??

AHA!!!!!

And that led me to the inevitable conclusion: being with friends is just MORE COMFORTABLE!


Part 4: Realizing it's realy about procrastination, NOT about confidence!

I can clearly tell the difference about going out to sarge with my friends -vs- me sarging solo by one small difference: If a friend calls me out, I'm almost always saying "YES" and I feel that I want to do it!

But if I had to take myself out by myself, ALL sorts of excuses will come out!

So there you have it - it's simply PROCRASTINATION!
Not fears, not lack of confidence, nothing.

And ... once I managed to neutralize the procrastination feeling and be able to go out to the field without it sitting in my veins .. then what do you know ... I'm unstoppable with women again!!!

Grasp it, eat it, and sleep on it.
If this relates to you - GREAT, If not, feel free to ask me anything.
Until my next post..

P.S: If you'll want to know how I got over the procrastination, shoot me a comment here and I will explain. You can feel free to comment and leave your feedback on this post anyways. I love hearing your feedback!

-- leedrag0n