Hey all !
Today's post is a most exciting one for me - It's about how to reprogram your mind, a skill that is unquestionably the most important skill of your success.
Why is it important to reprogram your mind ?
In any given situation in the real world, your mind will usually automatically respond based on your habitual ways of responding that are familiar to it up until that moment. Not always do these "habitual ways of responding" are good choice, or even something you'd logically do. Maybe there's a better way of responding that can lead to more positive results ?
Sure there is .. but more than often it happends that guys who "logically" know a certain attitude ... or a certain belief .. will go out and still get their old ways of responding coming back again time after time. And as you probably already know ... the fact that you know something on the logical level , doesn't mean your mind understands it ... because the mind doesn't understand logic!
So what does the mind know and responds with ?
The mind knows and can respond based on what's familiar to it !
So in order to have a better way of responding , you have to make it something that will be familiar to your brain. You'll have to sort of "train" in your new way of responding ... so that next time when you're out ... it will just feel naturally for your mind to use the new way of responding instead of the old one !
And this is done only by reprogramming and training your mind ..
Core understanding - You are NOT born with fears, wrong attitudes or beliefs. ALL of those are things that YOU LEARN, ADOPT, PERSUADED INTO or maybe even FORCED INTO during your life, and because of that - you can UNLEARN THEM!
Yep, this is a fact here. I'm sure that if you'll ever ask your mom how you were back in the day when you were 4 years old kid, she will probably tell you that you were wayyy different than how you are today. You are not born with fears, fears are simply strategies you develope over time. same goes for beliefs, attitudes and habits.
Now, since I don't want this post to turn into a phylosophical / theoretical discussion and instead I realy want you to grasp the actually practical side here so you can realy understand this, I want you to do this: Remember, as best as you possibly can, the last time you were realy scared to approach a girl. If you can't or don't have any such situation ... try to remember the last time you wanted to meet a girl but didn't.
Now, as you recall that situation ... can you notice any feelings arisen ?
I'm willing to bet you do.
And if you do .. here's the other second understanding you should know ..
Basic understanding - the mind doesn't recognize the difference between a real event and a remembered/imagined event. It processes them BOTH the same!
If you have successfully recalled the situation I asked you to recall, you probably realized that those feelings came up to the surface, at some level. In terms of your mind, it can't tell the difference between a real event and a remember one, it processes them both the same, and thats why you were feeling those feelings again.
This is actually good news, because guess what?
Final understanding - If you can CHANGE the way you FEEL, THINK & ACT on your remembered / imagined event - the change will take affect in the real life event !
One of the things that any good NLP practitioner does when he starts working with a client, is to recall the scenario that contains the undesired response so he could have something to measure against when doing the changework (aka: "reprogramming"). When I asked you to recall the situation here, you have surely felt the undesired response at some level coming up, although it may not have been in the same magnitude as if it was realy happening. Many people mistakenly think thats because "Real life events are stronger than imagination", but in fact its not true. Some people can infact remember scenarios in very vivid details, as if they were actually happening again, some people can actually start to shake just from thinking about something.
The reason for this change in emotional level, is because usually most people don't remember situations exactly as they occured - they eliminate (aka: "delete") undesired details. This is a natural process of the brain. This is what is sometimes known as "selective memory", and we all have it. We remember what we want to remember, and forget what we want to forget.
However, those eliminated details can (and usually do) have an impact over the emotional response level that is received. For instance: if you recall some situation that happend to you, and you see yourself from the side (aka "disassociated"), you can find that if you try to recall the situation again as if it was happening from your own eyes (aka "associated") it has a MUCH more powerful emotional impact on the event. Or: If you recall some situation and can't hear any voices inside of it, try adding the sounds that were in that situation and you will see that it affects the emotional impact.
Many people do not know this knowledge, and make wrong conclusions about whats possible to be done with the mind, and fuck themselves up big time by this. don't follow them!
The reason for this change in emotional level, is because usually most people don't remember situations exactly as they occured - they eliminate (aka: "delete") undesired details. This is a natural process of the brain. This is what is sometimes known as "selective memory", and we all have it. We remember what we want to remember, and forget what we want to forget.
However, those eliminated details can (and usually do) have an impact over the emotional response level that is received. For instance: if you recall some situation that happend to you, and you see yourself from the side (aka "disassociated"), you can find that if you try to recall the situation again as if it was happening from your own eyes (aka "associated") it has a MUCH more powerful emotional impact on the event. Or: If you recall some situation and can't hear any voices inside of it, try adding the sounds that were in that situation and you will see that it affects the emotional impact.
Many people do not know this knowledge, and make wrong conclusions about whats possible to be done with the mind, and fuck themselves up big time by this. don't follow them!
When you recall a scenario, and the response that pops up is an undesired one, thats only beacuse this is what your mind has learned to do in such scenarios up until now. Change the response on your imagined scenario, so the old response is no longer there, and instead you attach a new reponse that is much more desirable. Test it - try to recall the scenario again and see if the new, desired response comes up. If it does - You can repeat this process several times in order to "train" your mind with the new way of responding, and it is most likely that the new way of reponding will be there for you in the real world event.
So, you want to learn how to reprogram yourself?
If so - Go on ...
How to do it properly?
So much has been written on the internet about how to do reprogramming for your mind, I'm going to present my angle & tips here. Those are things that i have tested and has worked for me, and I'm going to give explanation as best as I can to each and one of them.
I think the most important thing to understand when you're about to do any sort of reprogramming is the next core understanding:
Core "reprogramming" understanding: ANY mind reprogramming can only be done using VISUALIZATION !!
I'm sure you've heard alot about visualization already and heard so many changework "gurus" talk about the importance of visualization, yet I'm willing to bet that you haven't realy done any visualizing yourself.
Many people don't do visualization because they do not believe visualization can actually work in changing them. What alot of people fail to realize is that they are actually all the time reprogramming back old limiting beliefs, past failures, and fears by constantly thinking and visualizing them in the present, and thus contantly reinforcing them.
You must understand this: Your brain is a neurological network of neurons. Neural pathways are created and changed by events that happend to you. The more you experience something - the more your mind gets trained in it. The more your mind gets trained in it - the more the neural pathways related to this event are triggered. The more the neural pathways of this event are triggered - The bigger and stronger they become. The bigger and stronger they become - The more "automatic" you do it. The more "automatic" you do it - it becomes part of who you are, so you don't have to think about it anymore !
Visualization is the creative part of your brain, and any form of "reprogramming", or even "programming" must involve visualization since it is a creative process - something that you create and change.
Cognitive understandings are not enough, because the mind doesn't understand logic - it almost always does what is familiar, or what it was "trained" to do, its just that simple!
You have realized that your mind can't differentiate between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same. So when you start using visualization, you begin to construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind.
I think the most important thing to understand when you're about to do any sort of reprogramming is the next core understanding:
Core "reprogramming" understanding: ANY mind reprogramming can only be done using VISUALIZATION !!
I'm sure you've heard alot about visualization already and heard so many changework "gurus" talk about the importance of visualization, yet I'm willing to bet that you haven't realy done any visualizing yourself.
Many people don't do visualization because they do not believe visualization can actually work in changing them. What alot of people fail to realize is that they are actually all the time reprogramming back old limiting beliefs, past failures, and fears by constantly thinking and visualizing them in the present, and thus contantly reinforcing them.
You must understand this: Your brain is a neurological network of neurons. Neural pathways are created and changed by events that happend to you. The more you experience something - the more your mind gets trained in it. The more your mind gets trained in it - the more the neural pathways related to this event are triggered. The more the neural pathways of this event are triggered - The bigger and stronger they become. The bigger and stronger they become - The more "automatic" you do it. The more "automatic" you do it - it becomes part of who you are, so you don't have to think about it anymore !
Visualization is the creative part of your brain, and any form of "reprogramming", or even "programming" must involve visualization since it is a creative process - something that you create and change.
Cognitive understandings are not enough, because the mind doesn't understand logic - it almost always does what is familiar, or what it was "trained" to do, its just that simple!
You have realized that your mind can't differentiate between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same. So when you start using visualization, you begin to construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind.
You must realy understand this, if you can't understand just how important visualization is for reprogramming your mind, please stop reading this post now - it will be completely useless for you.
If you understand it, then move on ..
Attitude change process using Visualization
In this post, I'm going to explain how to reprogram your mind for an attitude change, but this process can also work great for beliefs change, habits change etc.
Step One: Open a blank document and write a caption with your new, desired, attitude, marked with bold and underline!
There's a magical / hard to explain power about writing. I can assure you that. Many of the posts you read here in my blog, were deeply burned into my mind almost immediately after I wrote them that I could feel changes happening instantly in my thinking ways after writing them.
Why is it so powerful I cannot explain, but I do know that when you write things they get burned into your mind way more powerfully than if you simply say them to yourself, and as a proof .. why do you think that business schedules are written into calendars? :)
So now, after you opened the document and wrote your new desired attitude as a bold caption, it will give your mind a nice new direction ..
Step Two: Below the caption you wrote, write the following instruction: "Remember a situation, not long ago, where you had an opportunity to meet a very attractive woman.. and now imagine how you'd look, act, sound, feel if you had the new attitude .."
Again, You use the power of writing to give your mind directions - you can verbally give yourself a command to remember something, but when you visually write it - the message gets more strongly into your mind.
Great, now after you remember the situation ..
Step Three: Below the instruction , write: "The situation I just remembered:" and then describe the situation.
Yep, simply start describing the situation as you remember it. You don't have to go into full details here, just write enough to bring back the associated image (the way the situation looked from your own eyes). When you're writing to describe events that happend to you, something in the power of writing connects strongly to your memory and allows you to bring back the memory very strongly and vividly to your mind. That's all that is required here.
Step Four: Below the description you just wrote, write: "Now .. how would you act, think, feel and behave differently in the same situation, with the new attitude?"
Now that you have the vividly rememberd scenario playing in your head, it is time for you to start imagining the new response.
It is possible that when you remember the old scenario, old feelings (such as pressure, anxiety) etc will rise up. Because again like I said, the mind can't tell the difference between imagination and real events. That's not a bad sign, infact - its a good sign. Because if you can change the way you respond to it in your imagination, the real life response will be the same.
But, if any feelings like pressure, anxiety etc come up - melt them using a technique called "Equanimity" that is best explained by Ross Jeffriess, in this video:
And then, once you melt the feelings and you are clean and relaxed, go on to the next step ..
Step Five: Imagine what you look like from another person's point of view. From the eyes of a stranger that looks from sideways on you and the woman.
And write how it looks.
This is called disassociated imagery, and it will give your mind a great new direction for the new programming.
Step Six: Fly into your own eyes, and see the new scenario from your own eyes
And write it, this is called associated imagery.
Step Seven: Fly into the woman's eyes, and see how you look from her eyes
And write it as well, big credits to Ross Jeffries again for this tip, it is laid out in his entire "Seduction Mastery Series" in the Youtube link i just gave you.
Step Eight: Physically step up, with your eyes closed, and fly again into your own eyes, and now both see the new scenario from your own eyes and involve (act) yourself physically and verbally as if it was realy happening
This is the final step here, and now after you have "programmed" yourself into the new situation from 3 different perspective, this final step will be so easily done and yet so powerfully programmed into you.
Step Nine: Repeat 2 more times
You can bring up 2 more scenarios and run the whole thing again .. or even more if you like.
Just make sure after it to ..
Final step: Forget it and let it go!
And this is because things that you forget tend to get burried better in your subconscious mind and be ready for you at the real world situation. If you want a proof for it - Have you ever noticed how stuff that you thought about yesterday, or this morning, suddenly arises today and you find it more useful and have new answers to it ?
That was it, it was a long post but I hope that some of you will find this useful.
And of course, feel free to give me your comments.
-- leedrag0n
6 comments:
Yes, you are right. Imagining myself doing something I would normally avoid doing, provokes the same emotional response, as if I was actually doing it, though not in the same magnitude. Some times I have so much homework, only the thought of me having to sit down for hours and do them, makes me sick. Of course I tend to imagine how awful it will be. Because of that feeling, I don’t even start working. Maybe instead I should image how great I will feel when i'll finish(I usually feel great when an exhausting task is completed).
The same goes for meeting woman. Usually, before approaching a beautiful woman, I tend to imagine how awful and awkward it will end after she rejects me. This feeling usually makes me freeze. So I was thinking to replace that feeling by either how awesome I will feel If she wont reject me, or how not-so-bad I will feel if she will.
Thanks for the comment, Schwinger. Its nice to see you're following this blog. The thing you talk about you imagining something that brings the same emotional response, although not in the same magnitude, is a sign that the undesired response is indeed THERE. it is possible, through the use of association and a practitioner that can guide you on exactly how to imagine the scenario, to make the emotional response even STRONGER. It is actually REQUIRED in any NLP work to bring back the undesired response using imagination so you could have something to MEASURE when you do the changework, to see if it worked or not.
Thanks for comments, I have now did required changes to this post using the feedback you gave me, if you see it you can read it again and if you have any more questions feel free to post them.
-- leedrag0n
You are right again, I was under the impression that real events are more powerful then imagery ones, but I guess it depends on how vividly one can imagine them. My visualization skills are not very powerful(as a result of growing up on movies and computer games), but I guess if I'll move the way I would move in a real scenario, and also say out loud the things I usually say, it will feel more and more like the real thing, and will help me visualize the scenario.
I also found a good explanation to the "magical power of writing" LOL, check it out if you wish. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/writing-and-remembering-why-we-remember-what-we-write.html (the explanation is in the last 4 paragraphs, the beginning is just boring experiments and examples).
Great link, very useful and related to this post. Thanks !
"construct events that will eventually change neural associations in your mind".
And its only take 3 times to do it ? like you describe in step 9 ? or i should repeat it again after a week or a month ?
Jack, the visualization exercises are designed to change neural associations in your mind. In order to reinforce it better, its REQUIRED that you go out and reinforce the new habit by real world actions. So, if you've trained your mind to response in a certain "attitude" when approaching women, the change most of the times will be effective immediately. It is, though, much better reinforced to the brain if you then go out and actually APPROACH women with the new attitude.
Post a Comment