Every human being is a different person, that enjoys different things, flows with different things, and responds to different things.
Alot of advices that are given about success with women, are usually in one or another of the forms of "If you do this, she'll responds that..", or "If you use this structure, then..", etc.
This is the kind of thinking that we, as men, are champions at - serial thinking. Given any goal or outcome, we will be able to create steps to achieve it - and if you'll follow all the steps exactly in the order they are written, you'll get that goal ..
It is our blessing on one side, but also our curse on the other - because this kind of thinking is NOT USEFUL for success with women!
Why?
Because women are random - every woman is a different person that responds differently to different things. Some women will respond very good to displays of honesty and vulnerability and "sharing your thoughts" with them, while other women will not give a damn shit about it, but will instead responds VERY GOOD to displays of dominance and aggression and not giving a fuck.. other women will not respond to dominance and aggression good at all, because they feel that they want to share their thoughts with someone, and will respond very good to you just shutting your mouth and listening to them.. Some women are smart-asses and like to tease and flirt, and they will respond very strongly to being a tease and flirtatious with them .. and so on .. you get it?
This is exactly the reason why you have to develope a sense of flexibility in your game, if you REALY want to increase your game and success rates.
Now, when I'm talking about flexibility, listen: I am NOT talking about giving up your will just to please and satisfy a woman. That is NOT flexibility, that is being a pussy - and it is a big turn off for almost every woman out there!
What I'm talking about is stay strong with your will to get a result with her, but at the same time having a versatile set of choices for behaviours, vibes, and themes that you can switch between them, while at the same time staying completely focused on her so you could notice how she responds to each, paying attention to what will trigger the strongest responses in her!
This is a realy crucial, even core level understanding - because in the end what really matters in your communication with her is the responses that you get from her - is she turned on? is she turned off? does she feel connected? does she feel fascinated? aroused? etc..
Because her responses are the indicators for you to know whether you're going on track or off track, and if she's giving you strong and powerful responses that means that you're on the right track, and that probably she's ready!
Remember, there is no failure - only feedback, and you are constantly getting feedback all the time about what works and what doesn't work.
Is this making sense?
-- leedrag0n
Showing posts with label Practical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Practical. Show all posts
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Frames explained
Hey guys !
In this post im going to get back to some powerful core and practical stuff you can use in your Pickups.
If you liked my "Emotions Explained" classic post that talked about how women are mostly driven by emotions and not logic, and how we can use this in our pickups, then you will absolutely LOVE this post.
Today im going to talk about Frames and how to use them.
What is a frame ?
For the practical purposes of our use, a frame is simply an "altered reality" that automatically triggers certain feelings, actions and beliefs inside of it.
What do I mean ?
Here's an example : Think about the difference between meeting a woman when you're out jogging, to meeting a woman when you're in a nightclub, ok ?
It is quite obvious that you think, feel, act and believe differently about the idea of meeting a woman inside a nightclub, than how you think,feel,act and believe about it when you're out jogging, right ?
The difference between jogging and a nightclub is an ideal example of how you feel, act and believe differently inside two different frames !
Now think about women for a second.
Most women know that when they are in a vacation or they go to nightclubs, its OKAY for them to go for one night stands, why ? Because thats how their mind is setup on the level of thoughts, rules, beliefs and actions they take in those places.
Now, if you can get a woman to imagine she's talking with you right now, in a night club .. do you think that all the automatically triggered actions, beliefs and feelings will immediately rise to the surface of her mind ?
THE HELL YOU BET !
In this post im going to get back to some powerful core and practical stuff you can use in your Pickups.
If you liked my "Emotions Explained" classic post that talked about how women are mostly driven by emotions and not logic, and how we can use this in our pickups, then you will absolutely LOVE this post.
Today im going to talk about Frames and how to use them.
What is a frame ?
For the practical purposes of our use, a frame is simply an "altered reality" that automatically triggers certain feelings, actions and beliefs inside of it.
What do I mean ?
Here's an example : Think about the difference between meeting a woman when you're out jogging, to meeting a woman when you're in a nightclub, ok ?
It is quite obvious that you think, feel, act and believe differently about the idea of meeting a woman inside a nightclub, than how you think,feel,act and believe about it when you're out jogging, right ?
I mean, when you're out jogging, you may believe that you're too sweaty and not good looking enough for a woman to want and talk with you, or you may believe that you can only take her number .. while in a nightclub, you can feel that you're great looking, and that you can not only take the girls number, but even invite her to dance and maybe even makeout with her .. right ?
To put it short - your frame here defines what you can do, how you can feel, and your beliefs about what you can do or can't do, whats possible and whats not and even more .. makes sense no ?
The difference between jogging and a nightclub is an ideal example of how you feel, act and believe differently inside two different frames !
Now think about women for a second.
Most women know that when they are in a vacation or they go to nightclubs, its OKAY for them to go for one night stands, why ? Because thats how their mind is setup on the level of thoughts, rules, beliefs and actions they take in those places.
Now, if you can get a woman to imagine she's talking with you right now, in a night club .. do you think that all the automatically triggered actions, beliefs and feelings will immediately rise to the surface of her mind ?
THE HELL YOU BET !
Matter of fact is, that almost anyone in this planet, when telling stories to others, get themselves into different frames all the fucking time !!
You probably know this from your own experience as well - Have you ever noticed how whenever you tell somebody a story about something that happend to you while you were in a vacation or a nightclub, how during the talk you felt as if you are totally there , and how all the feelings, thoughts and beliefs just suddenly came back up to the surface ?
So yeah, the ability to alter another person's imagination is very powerful - probably one of the most powerful influence techniques there are that can save you TONS of time trying to build them up. Why build something up that probably already exist for you ?
Hell, if some woman is a virgin, you can get her to imagine what she would do if she wasn't virgin - If she can imagine it, the differences between reality and imagination can easily go away very soon !
Like I said in my post "Emotions Explained" , i wrote there "If you want a woman to do something, think of what emotion you want her to feel". This is, BTW, an idea that Ross Jeffries coined back in the day, so i give him credit for it.
So instead of thinking how do you get a woman to .. for instance, suck your dick in the toilet .. you can think of what frame of mind you can get her into in which she will feel natural and okay to do this thing, that you want her to do ?
You can think about Frames such as "Fantasy", which is btw a frame in which you can do anything LOL .. or "Nightclub" .. you can think about frames such as "Truth and Dare" .. or "Strip club" .. maybe even "Helping a friend" frame .. whatever you think can be right !
The funny thing about frames is that you can even create an imaginable frame , or create an "altered reality" that doesn't even realy exist, and get the women you talk to totally feel as if they are there, in that frame !!
Yes, frames are exteremly powerful .. here's a nice example : Imagine that you are now in an abandoned exotic island .. there are coconut trees around you .. and a blue sea ... the sun is shining .. and now you need to prepare a dinner, how do you do it ?
See how i just entered you into an imagined frame ?
Think about this powerful tool and how you use it, it is powerful.
-- leedrag0n
You probably know this from your own experience as well - Have you ever noticed how whenever you tell somebody a story about something that happend to you while you were in a vacation or a nightclub, how during the talk you felt as if you are totally there , and how all the feelings, thoughts and beliefs just suddenly came back up to the surface ?
Have you ever found yourself telling a friend of yours something like "Man, she was so into me, i think i could have just done her in the toilet", as you describe to him something that happend to you while you're in a nightclub ?
Now, let me make a wild guess here, that if you told a story about how you met some girl in the mall, for instance, you'd never even think about taking her to the toilet as you would in a nightclub, no ?
And if that so, why do you think its like that ?
Its simply because a mall and a nightclub are two different frames , each comes with a different set of beliefs and actions you can do in them, thats why !!
Now check this cool thing : Suppose that during the conversation between you and this girl, in the mall, suddenly the lights go out, loud music starts to be played in the speakers, flash lights and big bars with drinks and bartenders in them pop up, the mall instantly becomes a huge nightclub .. everyone around you is dancing, buying drinks, and having a good time .. and you know the chick you talk with is totally into you .. How do you feel about it now ?
How will you behave differently now ?? Will you end this conversation with just a phone number, or instead take her to the booth and kiss with her ?
And if I can do it on you, right now, using words only, here in my blog - to put you into a different frame in your mind with different beliefs, actions and feelings about this meeting - you can do it on a woman during your conversation with her to put her into any frame you want !
This works simply because the subconscious mind can't recognize the difference between a real event and an imagined one, it processes them both the same way, so when you get a woman to imagine herself in a nightclub, if she gets to imagine that - it overrides her CURRENT reality, so all the beliefs, actions and feelings she has in a nightclub simply begin to rise up to the surface !
So yeah, the ability to alter another person's imagination is very powerful - probably one of the most powerful influence techniques there are that can save you TONS of time trying to build them up. Why build something up that probably already exist for you ?
Hell, if some woman is a virgin, you can get her to imagine what she would do if she wasn't virgin - If she can imagine it, the differences between reality and imagination can easily go away very soon !
Like I said in my post "Emotions Explained" , i wrote there "If you want a woman to do something, think of what emotion you want her to feel". This is, BTW, an idea that Ross Jeffries coined back in the day, so i give him credit for it.
So instead of thinking how do you get a woman to .. for instance, suck your dick in the toilet .. you can think of what frame of mind you can get her into in which she will feel natural and okay to do this thing, that you want her to do ?
You can think about Frames such as "Fantasy", which is btw a frame in which you can do anything LOL .. or "Nightclub" .. you can think about frames such as "Truth and Dare" .. or "Strip club" .. maybe even "Helping a friend" frame .. whatever you think can be right !
The funny thing about frames is that you can even create an imaginable frame , or create an "altered reality" that doesn't even realy exist, and get the women you talk to totally feel as if they are there, in that frame !!
Yes, frames are exteremly powerful .. here's a nice example : Imagine that you are now in an abandoned exotic island .. there are coconut trees around you .. and a blue sea ... the sun is shining .. and now you need to prepare a dinner, how do you do it ?
See how i just entered you into an imagined frame ?
Think about this powerful tool and how you use it, it is powerful.
-- leedrag0n
Monday, July 7, 2008
Attraction & Persistence
One of the key factors of any successful PU is whether or not the woman is actually interested in you as a sexual partner or not, aka "attraction".
The more she is interested in finding a sexual partner or in you, the easier your game is, The less she is interested , the harder your game is.
For most guys, the perspective of picking up a girl they like is : I go out of my house, i SEE a woman of my choice, and then i just go and randomly pick her up.
But this is not a smart way to conduct a happy sex life,
You've probably heard the question im about to ask you now before.
Do think about it :
What is easier - To gain $100,000 by trying to collect $10 from 10,000 people ?
Or to gain $100,000 by trying to collect $10,000 from 10 people ?
Well the right answer here is the second way.
But what's the real difference between these two ways ?
Well, i'll tell you. The difference here is at where you put most of your efforts at.
The first way, collecting 10$ from 10,000 people requires that you put most of your efforts in trying to convince every person to give you 10$ and then run it over thousands of people randomly.
The second way, though, requires that you put most of your efforts simply in FINDING 10 people who are generous enough each to give you 10,000$, thats it.
Get to think about it for a second - in the first way, out of these 10,000 people you tried to collect 10$ from, SURELY were at least 3 or 4 people who would also generously give you 10,000$ if you asked them for, but how could you KNOW this if you were only focused on asking them for 10$ ??????
Back to our analogy now - Difference between easy gaming and hard gaming.
Chicks who are interested in you are usually easier targets game wise.
Everyday you walk out of your house, there are PLENTY of women who ARE interested in you everywhere you go to - They give you EC, stand closer to you, and in general are receptive to you gaming them. Believe it or not, SOME of these chicks are even EXACTLY your type looks wise. Going for chicks like that makes you collecting your $100,000 much easier, however more time needs to be invested in finding those chicks, hence - More efforts are put in finding those chicks, less efforts in gaming them.
Chicks who are NOT interested in you, for any reason that could be : You're not her "EXACT" type looks wise, she has no sex drive, she has no interest in sex, she has mental issues against sex, whatsoever, are harder targets game wise.
Everyday as you walk out of your house, there are plenty of women who are NOT interested in you too, you gotta accept it bro : not every chick falls over for you. These chicks usually give no EC, they stand far from you, they do whatever they can to possibly avoid any interaction with you. Going for chicks like that makes it almost impossible to collect anything from them, more of your efforts needs to be put in convincing and persuating them to be with you, so yeah - less efforts to actually find them if you just blatantly go at them cold approach, but more efforts needs to be put in trying to convince them to even give you "10$".
The analogy of the 10$ and 10,000$ is there out of purpose.
Believe it or not, just as much as there are people that giving 10,000$ is nothing for them, there are people that giving 10$ is ALOT for them.
Go out looking for those people who will give you 10,000$ happily and you'll have a great and healthy sex drive finding chicks who are interested in what you're about to ask them for.
Try instead to go out for the people who make you a hard time giving you even 10$ , and your sex life will keep running away from you, such as going for chicks who are NOT interested in you, and just waste your time and efforts trying to convince them to give you something they dont want to anyways.
-- leedrag0n
The more she is interested in finding a sexual partner or in you, the easier your game is, The less she is interested , the harder your game is.
For most guys, the perspective of picking up a girl they like is : I go out of my house, i SEE a woman of my choice, and then i just go and randomly pick her up.
But this is not a smart way to conduct a happy sex life,
You've probably heard the question im about to ask you now before.
Do think about it :
What is easier - To gain $100,000 by trying to collect $10 from 10,000 people ?
Or to gain $100,000 by trying to collect $10,000 from 10 people ?
Well the right answer here is the second way.
But what's the real difference between these two ways ?
Well, i'll tell you. The difference here is at where you put most of your efforts at.
The first way, collecting 10$ from 10,000 people requires that you put most of your efforts in trying to convince every person to give you 10$ and then run it over thousands of people randomly.
The second way, though, requires that you put most of your efforts simply in FINDING 10 people who are generous enough each to give you 10,000$, thats it.
Get to think about it for a second - in the first way, out of these 10,000 people you tried to collect 10$ from, SURELY were at least 3 or 4 people who would also generously give you 10,000$ if you asked them for, but how could you KNOW this if you were only focused on asking them for 10$ ??????
Back to our analogy now - Difference between easy gaming and hard gaming.
Chicks who are interested in you are usually easier targets game wise.
Everyday you walk out of your house, there are PLENTY of women who ARE interested in you everywhere you go to - They give you EC, stand closer to you, and in general are receptive to you gaming them. Believe it or not, SOME of these chicks are even EXACTLY your type looks wise. Going for chicks like that makes you collecting your $100,000 much easier, however more time needs to be invested in finding those chicks, hence - More efforts are put in finding those chicks, less efforts in gaming them.
Chicks who are NOT interested in you, for any reason that could be : You're not her "EXACT" type looks wise, she has no sex drive, she has no interest in sex, she has mental issues against sex, whatsoever, are harder targets game wise.
Everyday as you walk out of your house, there are plenty of women who are NOT interested in you too, you gotta accept it bro : not every chick falls over for you. These chicks usually give no EC, they stand far from you, they do whatever they can to possibly avoid any interaction with you. Going for chicks like that makes it almost impossible to collect anything from them, more of your efforts needs to be put in convincing and persuating them to be with you, so yeah - less efforts to actually find them if you just blatantly go at them cold approach, but more efforts needs to be put in trying to convince them to even give you "10$".
The analogy of the 10$ and 10,000$ is there out of purpose.
Believe it or not, just as much as there are people that giving 10,000$ is nothing for them, there are people that giving 10$ is ALOT for them.
Go out looking for those people who will give you 10,000$ happily and you'll have a great and healthy sex drive finding chicks who are interested in what you're about to ask them for.
Try instead to go out for the people who make you a hard time giving you even 10$ , and your sex life will keep running away from you, such as going for chicks who are NOT interested in you, and just waste your time and efforts trying to convince them to give you something they dont want to anyways.
-- leedrag0n
Thursday, May 1, 2008
"Boyfriend"
You : "Hey youre a really fun person, lets hang out sometime !"
Her : "I have a boyfriend"
Ahhh , not that BOYFRIEND again !!
The so familiar phrase women often use that immediately puts us down, gets all the air out of the baloon, and makes us outright want to give it up.
If you are intimidated or let down by the boyfriend excuse, hopefully your ways of thinking will change once you've done reading this post.
Lets first talk a little bit about the way women think & feel sexually.
It is now more than ever known that women think and operate sexually EXACTLY like us men, if not more even. Women have lust and desire for sex, masturbate, have sexual fantasies and desire for multiple sexual partners as well.
They are TAUGHT, however, since an early age that this is wrong though - that it is "perverted" or "slutty" to not only act on their sexual desires but sometimes to even THINK about them.
Some women will often catch themselves fantasizing about a dick of a stranger going down their throat middle of the day and immediately have an inner voice pop up that tells them to STOP it because its "dirty".
Those sexual thoughts never leave them though and keep coming back because they are PART of a normal human's sexuality. Which makes the problem even WORSE when you think about it - makes them actually feel even WORSE about themselves, as dirty little whores who have been "infected by satans curse".
The only thing that is considered "right" or "ok" sexually for them is to be commited in a long term relationship with one guy.
Even worse - Many women even LIE and say they have a boyfriend when they dont really have one, just because of fear they will be considered "sluts" or "unfaithful" when they have no guy.
This is the society conditioning though, but in reality as we already know people are DRIVEN BY EMOTIONS not logic (again), and if a woman is in a "relationship" with a guy who doesn't fill her sexual desires she WILL look for better options, yet always have that inner voice pop up in her mind and tell her it is wrong though.
What can we do about it ?
First are a couple of crucial things to have in your mind next time this happends to you in field.
The first and most important thing you MUST realize here is that IT IS OK FOR A WOMAN TO BE HAPPY AND SEXUALLY SATISFIED !
And it is not right for her to keep staying in a terrible sexual relationship she doesn't even enjoy. She is a human afterall, and if she isnt happy in her relationship she has every right to end it.
The second and most important thing you MUST realize here is that it is NO ONE'S RIGHT TO JUDGE A WOMAN'S SEX LIFE !
Because today they judge her for this guy, tommorow they judge her for that date she went out with, the other day they judge her for the guy in the disco she sent eye contact to, and not only that she isn't loyal to herself, nor loyal to the poor guy himself - she keeps staying loyal to OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS FROM HER ! How will she feel tommorow if all those other people get married and she stays on her own ? Will they stop judging her ? Of course not.
Who's sex life is she here to fulfill - her own or others ?
The third thing to realize is that SHE IS ADULT ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO HERSELF AND MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS ! No one knows herself way she does and no one feels what she feels. Many times the advices she got from her parents or her "girlfriends" are advices that those people will never do themselves if they were in a similiar situation like her. And women KNOW that other women have no word, so fuck it.
I brought these realizations in here to not only shed a light on better understanding it from her point of view, but more so to shed a light over YOUR POINT OF VIEW on the whole "boyfriend" bullshit.
It is a social definition, thats all.
In reality it is simply the first sexually available guy she got introduced with and stays with him simply because there are no better options presented, and to fulfill others expectations from her. It is not even marriage, just a comfortable and available sexual partner in the mask of a "boyfriend" to look good in others eyes, thats all.
Just ignore the "boyfriend" bullshit and realize that all she's really trying to do is show you she is a good girl and that she is "ok" socially.
Always assume you are better than him and she only stays with him because she has no other options, or otherwise all of them creep out as soon as they hear her "boyfriend" excuse, and dont realize she may be terribly sexually frustrated or even more she's not even AWARE about how bad her sex life really is, yet keep saying that she has a boyfriend because of her inner society voice coming in her mind that tells her to say it whenever she is TURNED ON, actually.
Also as an analogy in sales, when you come to offer a customer a Ferrari, and he GOT the money to allow it, yet tells you that he already have a Fiat Uno 94 model currently, you will not tell him "Oh ok thanks" and leave off, you will tell him "Wow man you will really want to get rid of it once you see our car !" to get him curious enough to take a "test drive" in it and be convinced himself.
In the case of a woman and a boyfriend, its almost the same case : You will want to tell her "You will want to get rid of him once you see me in action !", but you can also get her to imagine how great you are & feel curious about finding it out in other ways so she will then be likely to think : "Hmmm this guy really sounds promising, makes me feel curious about him, i want to find out more about him !".
Hope this helped.
leedrag0n
Her : "I have a boyfriend"
Ahhh , not that BOYFRIEND again !!
The so familiar phrase women often use that immediately puts us down, gets all the air out of the baloon, and makes us outright want to give it up.
If you are intimidated or let down by the boyfriend excuse, hopefully your ways of thinking will change once you've done reading this post.
Lets first talk a little bit about the way women think & feel sexually.
It is now more than ever known that women think and operate sexually EXACTLY like us men, if not more even. Women have lust and desire for sex, masturbate, have sexual fantasies and desire for multiple sexual partners as well.
They are TAUGHT, however, since an early age that this is wrong though - that it is "perverted" or "slutty" to not only act on their sexual desires but sometimes to even THINK about them.
Some women will often catch themselves fantasizing about a dick of a stranger going down their throat middle of the day and immediately have an inner voice pop up that tells them to STOP it because its "dirty".
Those sexual thoughts never leave them though and keep coming back because they are PART of a normal human's sexuality. Which makes the problem even WORSE when you think about it - makes them actually feel even WORSE about themselves, as dirty little whores who have been "infected by satans curse".
The only thing that is considered "right" or "ok" sexually for them is to be commited in a long term relationship with one guy.
Even worse - Many women even LIE and say they have a boyfriend when they dont really have one, just because of fear they will be considered "sluts" or "unfaithful" when they have no guy.
This is the society conditioning though, but in reality as we already know people are DRIVEN BY EMOTIONS not logic (again), and if a woman is in a "relationship" with a guy who doesn't fill her sexual desires she WILL look for better options, yet always have that inner voice pop up in her mind and tell her it is wrong though.
What can we do about it ?
First are a couple of crucial things to have in your mind next time this happends to you in field.
The first and most important thing you MUST realize here is that IT IS OK FOR A WOMAN TO BE HAPPY AND SEXUALLY SATISFIED !
And it is not right for her to keep staying in a terrible sexual relationship she doesn't even enjoy. She is a human afterall, and if she isnt happy in her relationship she has every right to end it.
The second and most important thing you MUST realize here is that it is NO ONE'S RIGHT TO JUDGE A WOMAN'S SEX LIFE !
Because today they judge her for this guy, tommorow they judge her for that date she went out with, the other day they judge her for the guy in the disco she sent eye contact to, and not only that she isn't loyal to herself, nor loyal to the poor guy himself - she keeps staying loyal to OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS FROM HER ! How will she feel tommorow if all those other people get married and she stays on her own ? Will they stop judging her ? Of course not.
Who's sex life is she here to fulfill - her own or others ?
The third thing to realize is that SHE IS ADULT ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO HERSELF AND MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS ! No one knows herself way she does and no one feels what she feels. Many times the advices she got from her parents or her "girlfriends" are advices that those people will never do themselves if they were in a similiar situation like her. And women KNOW that other women have no word, so fuck it.
I brought these realizations in here to not only shed a light on better understanding it from her point of view, but more so to shed a light over YOUR POINT OF VIEW on the whole "boyfriend" bullshit.
It is a social definition, thats all.
In reality it is simply the first sexually available guy she got introduced with and stays with him simply because there are no better options presented, and to fulfill others expectations from her. It is not even marriage, just a comfortable and available sexual partner in the mask of a "boyfriend" to look good in others eyes, thats all.
Just ignore the "boyfriend" bullshit and realize that all she's really trying to do is show you she is a good girl and that she is "ok" socially.
Always assume you are better than him and she only stays with him because she has no other options, or otherwise all of them creep out as soon as they hear her "boyfriend" excuse, and dont realize she may be terribly sexually frustrated or even more she's not even AWARE about how bad her sex life really is, yet keep saying that she has a boyfriend because of her inner society voice coming in her mind that tells her to say it whenever she is TURNED ON, actually.
Also as an analogy in sales, when you come to offer a customer a Ferrari, and he GOT the money to allow it, yet tells you that he already have a Fiat Uno 94 model currently, you will not tell him "Oh ok thanks" and leave off, you will tell him "Wow man you will really want to get rid of it once you see our car !" to get him curious enough to take a "test drive" in it and be convinced himself.
In the case of a woman and a boyfriend, its almost the same case : You will want to tell her "You will want to get rid of him once you see me in action !", but you can also get her to imagine how great you are & feel curious about finding it out in other ways so she will then be likely to think : "Hmmm this guy really sounds promising, makes me feel curious about him, i want to find out more about him !".
Hope this helped.
leedrag0n
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Pickup Stages
Welcome fellow players !
In this post im going to lay out the different stages of the game and explain them each as best as i understand and apply them.
Why do you need stages in pickup ?
Well like i already explained before, pickup is very similiar to sales in its context.
In sales, you can of course just go and approach and directly try to close your audience, but most times this strategy will not work unless the customer is already highly interested in your product before hand and was infact already about to come to you and buy your product before you even offered it to him !
You can also of course try to go and get your audience's attention and hope that they will notice your "product" themselves and buy it, but the results here will be the same as before - if you are only there to grab their attention, they will only choose to close the deal with you if they were planning to do it before you even came to them.
You have no choice but to present the product to them, get them interested in it and lead them towards closing !
How is this done ?
In general sales, you would first approach your customer to grab his attention. Then you will get him interested in your product, and then you will offer him a "test drive" on your product so he can personally experience it himself. If the product is great it will sell itself already at this stage. If not, as a final stage you may need to amplify the experience your customer had by directing his focus to how great your product is so that he's convinced and is ready to close the deal right there on the spot.
Professional sales people are trained to close deals on the spot.
Yeah they may give the company's phone number to customers who are not fully convinced at this stage and want to "go home and think about it", but they know they cant rely on it.
So a general flow of a sale will be :
1. Attention
2. Interest
3. "Test Drive"
4. Build Desire
5. Close
In pickup, as analogy, you go through an almost similiar process.
The "product" you offer her is YOURSELF, as a sexual partner.
So in essence, you need to first get her attention to you.
Then you need to get her interested in YOU, as a sexual partner.
Then you need to give her a "test drive", which is : arousing her sexually.
(This by itself will be enough sometimes, if not ...)
Then you need to amplify her arousal and focus her on how great does it feel, enough so you can ...
Close her.
So there are 5 stages in pickup too :
1. Attention
2. Sexual Interest
3. Isolation
4. Seduce
5. Close
Stage one - Attention
As you approach a given woman, she can be in one of a thousand different places in her mind.
Your first step is, as you may remember, to get her attention by any means possible. To some women, it can be a small talk about the environment that will get their attention, to others you may need to get her curious about something first then talk about something that interests her, others you may need to challenge to get their attention, etc etc.
Anything or any trick you can get up in your mind that will get her attention to you.
Thats your first elementary step, in a nutshell : the opener is meant to get her attention.
Key to remember here is that the more dominant you are in your opening, the more chance she'll get her attention at you, since dominance is one sure way to sexually excite her.
Indicator of Attention is simple to notice - you will notice her simply giving most of her attention to you, aka "flirting" with you. So that now you will have no problem moving on to the next stage.
Stage two - Sexual Interest
After you got her attention and she is flirting, you now need to get her sexually interested in you, enough so that she'll accept the "test drive" of isolation you suggest her later.
To put it short - you need to get her interested in you as a sexual partner, at a sexual level.
Sometimes when you open strong & dominant this by itself can be enough to get her sexually interested in you, if you are a handsome guy sometimes your looks can be enough to get her sexually interested.
There are many ways to do it, but most effective of course will be to SHOW her you are sexually interested in her first, and that you are a good sexual partner. I know this goes against many "act disinterested" type of conditionings, but hell if you can act disinterested and still get her sexually interested in you, i'll be the last to stop you from doing something that works for you ;)
Also another great way to show sexual interest is to touch her, so she'll begin to be aroused enough already to accept your "test drive".
I mean think about it for a second: which man will she be more sexually interested in - a man that arouses her, or a man who doesn't arouse her ?
Indicator of Sexual Interest can be spotted by this - First and foremost she is receptive to all your sexual cues and likes them. This is really hard to miss. Even better she starts asking you questions, teases you, matches your vibe, looks longer in your eyes with gazing looks, talks more sensually, giggles, plays with her hair, etc. All of those are indicators to move to the next level.
Stage three - Isolation
The next step is isolating her - getting to a point where you will be intimately alone with her so she's not only ready to take the "test drive" of you seducing her, but also ready to be closed.
If she's sexually interested and current logistics won't allow it you can ask her for a number, but remember that this is never something you can rely on.
To put it short - You MUST do this !
Why ?
Because for the same reason in sales : When you have a customer interested, you don't bring the product & signing papers to him so he can sign. Instead, you LEAD HIM towards the "test drive" spot where he can experience the product himself and then close the deal.
It also gives a first compliance from the customer he is infact interested in taking a "test drive" on your product.
The isolation itself doesn't neccessary has to be straight to your house - it can be "out of my circle of friends" if its a club and she's there with her friends, it can be a quiet street that you "walk her" home, an abandoned bus station, a wooden chair in a mall far from people, a coffeeshop, out of the club etc.
The big idea here is moving her to a place she'll be ready to take your "test drive" of sexually seducing her - getting her to feel an intimacy of just you and her IN HER MIND, so she can start imagining you and her making sex together.
Again, you can use any trick and any tool to get her to do this : stick to her until she leaves the store and you both go out together (persistence), get her curious and ask her to palm read her hand in a quieter location, challenge her for spontaneity, etc etc - any way possible.
Stage four - Seduce
Once she's alone with you, she actually acknowledged your "invitation" to give her a "test drive" of yourself as a sexual partner.
You become congruent to her as a lover, sexual tension comes into the play, and she FEEL this, hence will start to imagine you both having sex, and will also be away from judging eyes of people so she will be basically "set on a plate" for you to actually seduce her.
What you are going to do on this stage is two things : to amplify the sexual tension and get her sexually aroused, so once this has been done and she gets aroused she will most likely agree to have sex.
And second, if needed, focus her on how great this feeling that she experience right now is, and override any objections she may have.
Again you are free to use any trick, tool or thing you know here. Palm reading, thumb wrestling, touching her legs as if to "check her clothes", bedroom eyes, sensual speech etc.
You will know when she's ready to be closed when she's totally submissive to your game and smiles and giggles while doing it.
After this stage there usually is no way back ...
Stage five - Close
You got her sexually interested in you, isolated her to give her the "test drive" of seducing her, amplified her sexual arousal. once you see her reciprocating it back - you close her.
Kiss, Makeout, Get her back to your house and have sex.
Any objections at this stage are just wierd and false logic she has in her mind you may need to override by directing her focus to how she feels right now, how great this can be, and what can she miss if she dont do it.
I deliberately didn't write any specific techniques in here, feel free to build each stage in whatever way you find that works for you.
The overall structure is whats important here.
Peace & love
leedrag0n
In this post im going to lay out the different stages of the game and explain them each as best as i understand and apply them.
Why do you need stages in pickup ?
Well like i already explained before, pickup is very similiar to sales in its context.
In sales, you can of course just go and approach and directly try to close your audience, but most times this strategy will not work unless the customer is already highly interested in your product before hand and was infact already about to come to you and buy your product before you even offered it to him !
You can also of course try to go and get your audience's attention and hope that they will notice your "product" themselves and buy it, but the results here will be the same as before - if you are only there to grab their attention, they will only choose to close the deal with you if they were planning to do it before you even came to them.
You have no choice but to present the product to them, get them interested in it and lead them towards closing !
How is this done ?
In general sales, you would first approach your customer to grab his attention. Then you will get him interested in your product, and then you will offer him a "test drive" on your product so he can personally experience it himself. If the product is great it will sell itself already at this stage. If not, as a final stage you may need to amplify the experience your customer had by directing his focus to how great your product is so that he's convinced and is ready to close the deal right there on the spot.
Professional sales people are trained to close deals on the spot.
Yeah they may give the company's phone number to customers who are not fully convinced at this stage and want to "go home and think about it", but they know they cant rely on it.
So a general flow of a sale will be :
1. Attention
2. Interest
3. "Test Drive"
4. Build Desire
5. Close
In pickup, as analogy, you go through an almost similiar process.
The "product" you offer her is YOURSELF, as a sexual partner.
So in essence, you need to first get her attention to you.
Then you need to get her interested in YOU, as a sexual partner.
Then you need to give her a "test drive", which is : arousing her sexually.
(This by itself will be enough sometimes, if not ...)
Then you need to amplify her arousal and focus her on how great does it feel, enough so you can ...
Close her.
So there are 5 stages in pickup too :
1. Attention
2. Sexual Interest
3. Isolation
4. Seduce
5. Close
Stage one - Attention
As you approach a given woman, she can be in one of a thousand different places in her mind.
Your first step is, as you may remember, to get her attention by any means possible. To some women, it can be a small talk about the environment that will get their attention, to others you may need to get her curious about something first then talk about something that interests her, others you may need to challenge to get their attention, etc etc.
Anything or any trick you can get up in your mind that will get her attention to you.
Thats your first elementary step, in a nutshell : the opener is meant to get her attention.
Key to remember here is that the more dominant you are in your opening, the more chance she'll get her attention at you, since dominance is one sure way to sexually excite her.
Indicator of Attention is simple to notice - you will notice her simply giving most of her attention to you, aka "flirting" with you. So that now you will have no problem moving on to the next stage.
Stage two - Sexual Interest
After you got her attention and she is flirting, you now need to get her sexually interested in you, enough so that she'll accept the "test drive" of isolation you suggest her later.
To put it short - you need to get her interested in you as a sexual partner, at a sexual level.
Sometimes when you open strong & dominant this by itself can be enough to get her sexually interested in you, if you are a handsome guy sometimes your looks can be enough to get her sexually interested.
There are many ways to do it, but most effective of course will be to SHOW her you are sexually interested in her first, and that you are a good sexual partner. I know this goes against many "act disinterested" type of conditionings, but hell if you can act disinterested and still get her sexually interested in you, i'll be the last to stop you from doing something that works for you ;)
Also another great way to show sexual interest is to touch her, so she'll begin to be aroused enough already to accept your "test drive".
I mean think about it for a second: which man will she be more sexually interested in - a man that arouses her, or a man who doesn't arouse her ?
Indicator of Sexual Interest can be spotted by this - First and foremost she is receptive to all your sexual cues and likes them. This is really hard to miss. Even better she starts asking you questions, teases you, matches your vibe, looks longer in your eyes with gazing looks, talks more sensually, giggles, plays with her hair, etc. All of those are indicators to move to the next level.
Stage three - Isolation
The next step is isolating her - getting to a point where you will be intimately alone with her so she's not only ready to take the "test drive" of you seducing her, but also ready to be closed.
If she's sexually interested and current logistics won't allow it you can ask her for a number, but remember that this is never something you can rely on.
To put it short - You MUST do this !
Why ?
Because for the same reason in sales : When you have a customer interested, you don't bring the product & signing papers to him so he can sign. Instead, you LEAD HIM towards the "test drive" spot where he can experience the product himself and then close the deal.
It also gives a first compliance from the customer he is infact interested in taking a "test drive" on your product.
The isolation itself doesn't neccessary has to be straight to your house - it can be "out of my circle of friends" if its a club and she's there with her friends, it can be a quiet street that you "walk her" home, an abandoned bus station, a wooden chair in a mall far from people, a coffeeshop, out of the club etc.
The big idea here is moving her to a place she'll be ready to take your "test drive" of sexually seducing her - getting her to feel an intimacy of just you and her IN HER MIND, so she can start imagining you and her making sex together.
Again, you can use any trick and any tool to get her to do this : stick to her until she leaves the store and you both go out together (persistence), get her curious and ask her to palm read her hand in a quieter location, challenge her for spontaneity, etc etc - any way possible.
Stage four - Seduce
Once she's alone with you, she actually acknowledged your "invitation" to give her a "test drive" of yourself as a sexual partner.
You become congruent to her as a lover, sexual tension comes into the play, and she FEEL this, hence will start to imagine you both having sex, and will also be away from judging eyes of people so she will be basically "set on a plate" for you to actually seduce her.
What you are going to do on this stage is two things : to amplify the sexual tension and get her sexually aroused, so once this has been done and she gets aroused she will most likely agree to have sex.
And second, if needed, focus her on how great this feeling that she experience right now is, and override any objections she may have.
Again you are free to use any trick, tool or thing you know here. Palm reading, thumb wrestling, touching her legs as if to "check her clothes", bedroom eyes, sensual speech etc.
You will know when she's ready to be closed when she's totally submissive to your game and smiles and giggles while doing it.
After this stage there usually is no way back ...
Stage five - Close
You got her sexually interested in you, isolated her to give her the "test drive" of seducing her, amplified her sexual arousal. once you see her reciprocating it back - you close her.
Kiss, Makeout, Get her back to your house and have sex.
Any objections at this stage are just wierd and false logic she has in her mind you may need to override by directing her focus to how she feels right now, how great this can be, and what can she miss if she dont do it.
I deliberately didn't write any specific techniques in here, feel free to build each stage in whatever way you find that works for you.
The overall structure is whats important here.
Peace & love
leedrag0n
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